Growing Pains are A Pain in More Than Just The Leg

Desmond is 6.  This means many things.

1. He is super fun. 
2. He is super literal.
3. He is super stubborn.
4. He is growing super fast!

Off and on, Des has complained of pains in his legs.  It hasn't been too much.  Just, "Dad...my leg hurts," here or there.  

I usually ask if he hurt it, he replies no.  So, I told him a little bit about growing pains. 

When I was young, I remember getting really bad growing pains.  I concede that I am a complete and total wuss, so when I say "really bad" it was probably little more than a dull ache.  But, whatever...I remember them being super painful.  

That's why, when Desmond woke up screaming the other night, I was filled with sympathy!

I was lying in bed sound asleep.  Kim woke me up.  Told me Des was crying for me.  So, I pop in there and, sure enough, tears are streaming down his face and he's crying "My legs hurt, daddy!!"  

Any of you parents out there probably know how much it sucks to see your little person in pain.  And, the worst part about pain like this...there is not really much I can do about it. 

I gave him some Tylenol, laid down in bed with him and rubbed his legs.  This seemed to sooth him enough to get him to fall asleep, again. But, man...I hate those nighttime screams.  

Growing Pains are fascinating to me, aside from the pain part.  When I was little, I would imagine my bones growing at a rate I could see inside my leg.  I mean, if it hurt that much, clearly you should be able to see the bone actually moving, right? 

Kid is sprouting up like crazy.  He's almost grown out of his school uniform.  He's still skinny as a pole, though.  

That's all.  Thoroughly enlightening post, I'm sure.  

Hey, stuff it.  This is my blog.  I write what I want!

Things That Make Me Smile- Dog Fetch Fails

This video.  This video makes me smile.

Republicans should support gay marriage!

I've said this before, many times.  Maybe even on this blog.  But, here I go again. 

I consider myself a Republican.  Despite my complete disagreement with the party stance on gay marriage.  Because, to me...supporting gay marriage actually IS a Republican value.

What?  What do you say?  That makes no sense, Jason!  God hates the gays!  Oh, wait...I mean, God loves the gays...he just hates the act of being gay.  Pray out the gay, boys!  Pray out the gay!!!

Well, the topic of gay marriage is once again in the news with the knucklehead judges of the mediocre state of ALABAMA decide they are going to ignore their Federal superiors and NOT grant marriage licenses to gay couples. 

Ok.  Here's where I jump on my soapbox.

Many of the people in ALABAMA are Republicans.  These ALABAMA Republicans, as well as many other Republicans like many of their federal counterparts, oppose gay marriage?  Why, you may ask.  Well, simple.  Because God.

Let's discuss what it means to be Republican, for a minute.  You know, Republican like Lincoln thought of Republican.  Or Jefferson, or Goldwater, etc, etc.

Republican means low taxes.  Strong military.  States rights.  And...most important to this conversation LESS GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE!!!!

Since when did Republican equal "We should tell you who you can or can't get married to?"  Now, it is coming so far that judges are stepping in.  We get mad when Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Stephen Breyer "legislate from the bench." But when a nobody judge for ALABAMA wants to directly violate an order from the Supreme Court (called Supreme because that's as high as the court goes...it doesn't stop in ALABAMA) Republicans seem to think that's okie dokie.  WTF?

To my Christian brothers and sisters...particularly those that say you are Republicans.  I have this request.

GET OVER IT!!!!

Being gay doesn't hurt you.  Getting married to a same sex partner doesn't hurt you.  "Oh," you say..."it hurts the children?"  Prove it?  Cuz, all the research I've read says it doesn't.  And, I don't want to see any "research" done by Jesus Camp.

Ugh!  So annoying!  You guys seriously make it hard to convince people to vote Republican.

Oh...in case you're wondering why I keep shouting ALABAMA! It's because, whenever I say ALAMABA...I say it like Forrest Gump.

February Family Picture

Round 2 of our Family Picture every month, series.

No real outtakes from this one.  Basically busted out the phone at a moment when Des was in a good mood and asked our friend Kevin to take a photo.  Here are some other photos from the day:

This is me enjoying a beautiful day on our patio with a book and some 2 Gingers whiskey!

Kevin showing the boys (Duncan, Des and Malcom) how to skip rocks. 

 Duncan and Desmond holding down the fort with their stick rifles. 

Duncan and Des building up their fort. 

Ok...I guess there is one outtake.  Here is Duncan photobombing us. 

Peace!

I've forgotten how to write!

No...really.  I can't do it anymore. 

I'm talking about hand writing, mind you.  Do you remember how to write with your hands.  None of this typie typie stuff.  I mean actually putting a writing utensil in your hand and putting ink to paper.

Let me explain.

Since Des started Kindergarten, I have been wrangled into volunteering for a bunch of stuff.  School Commission, Parish Leadership Team, Fund Drive Committee, etc, etc, etc.  At a meeting of the Fund Drive Committee last night, we were asked to write Thank You cards to the donors. 

It took about 5 minutes before my hand started to hurt.  Seriously...5 minutes.  I was stopping and making and releasing a fist because I don't work those muscles for 5 straight minutes at a time, anymore.

Then, even more annoying...I forgot how to spell.  When you write, there are no red marks underlining misspelled words.  A simple word like donor.  Is it donor...or doner?  See, when I write it here, I can easily tell that doner is misspelled because it has a red underline!  So...what do I do?  I simply right click and pick the correct spelling.

Not that long ago, I remember getting into an argument with my mom over the teaching of cursive in school.  She was annoyed because schools are beginning to stop teaching cursive.  My mom thinks that's dumb.  Me, on the other hand.  The guy who doesn't actually hand write anymore, the guy who, when I do hand write, it's not in cursive, things it's completely ok not to teach cursive.  Because, kids are never going to need it!  It's not like someone has to write another Declaration of Independence or something.  And, even if they did, it would likely be written in Word...not on parchment.

Anyway...just thought you would like to know.  I can't write anymore.

Things that make me smile - Shia LaBouf...not what you think, though.

I frequently post things like this on Facebook.  Might as well make it a category here.

I am not a fan of Shai LaBouf.  I hate when actors take themselves too seriously.  Acting is more of a talent than an art, IMHO.  I mean, you are taking someone else's material and interpreting it through your actions and voice.  You're not the creator.  The writer is the creator.  You're just bringing a creation to life.  Shia LaBouf is a dude who likes to talk smack about a movie like Transformers.  A bad movie, maybe.  But, regardless...it's the only reason anyone knows his name.

Still, that's all irrelevant.  That is really more about why I don't pay money to see Shai LaBouf in movies.

But, I recently came across this little ditty.  It's pretty funny.  If you're having trouble understanding them, turn on the closed captions.

An example like from the song, "Actual cannibal, Shai LaBouf!"

Enjoy!

First PLUS Sized Model in Sports Illustrated!!! Wait...what?

Big news today.  The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition is coming out this month!  I currently subscribe to Sports Illustrated for the first time since I was a kid.  Somehow, magically, I never received my Swimsuit edition back then.  I suspect mail fraud on the part of my mother.

Anyway, while I will certainly not complain about receiving a magazine full of babes in bikinis, I wasn't really thinking much about this episode.  Until I heard the big news about how, for the first time ever, one of the models is Plus sized! 

Now, I am going to write this post like I write most posts.  Using no research except that of my own opinion. 

When I hear Plus sized, I think Fat.  I just do.  Right, wrong, whatever.  I have no idea what the proper definition is of Plus sized.  But, when I hear about the Plus section or a plus sized model, I imagine large. 

I do NOT consider myself to be plus sized.  And, if you've seen me recently, you'll find that I have put on the pounds, once again.  While I would like to be much more fit and I know I need to be healthier, I would not look at myself and say, "Hey...I need to shop in the Plus section."  Because, I don't!  Is there a plus sized section for men, anyway?  I mean there's the "Big and Tall Store."  But, I imagine that's more for Shaq.

Moving along.  When I heard the news about a Plus sized model, I was expecting, well...a large woman in a bikini.  What I actually saw, however, was Robyn Lawley.  Here...check her out for yourself:

This is one from the SI shoot. 

So...I am confused.  This woman isn't fat.  Not even a little bit.  In fact, I think she's pretty smokin' hot.  What the heck is Plus sized, I wonder? 

I'm not trying to jump on to any kind of debate or get on a pedestal about what real beauty is.  I'll save that for the Dove commercials.  But, the fact of the matter is...I am a red blooded dude who likes babes.  Yes, I said babes.  Babes in this context is used in reference to someone who is more than just physically attractive.  Babes go past regular attractiveness and into DAAAAAAYAM! 

This woman is DAAAAAAYAM!  She's gorgeous!  Now, here is where one might say something like, "So what if she's got a little meat on her bones."  But...I can't say that here.  She looks perfect!  I can't see any ribs, there's no annoying "thigh gap" or whatever it's called.  Her smile is sparkling.  Should I go on?

What?  She has hips?  Proportionate boobs?  I don't get it. 

Plus sized has a negative connotation to it.  There's nothing negative about the way Robyn Lawley looks.

Oh...so I just read that Robyn is a size 10.  I don't know exactly what that means as I don't (often) wear women's clothing.  But, I guess size 10 is plus sized.

I have a feeling I know a lot of size 10 women whom I find equally beautiful.  I give them a size A+!

See what I did there...with the +?  *snort*

I would have run it with Lynch...

The best way to summarize a depressing Superbowl with depressing ads. #Nationwide

Family Picture - Jan 2015

Ok, I am stealing an idea from my friend Meghan of OurFishFamily.com.  Although, I'm not quite as awesome as her.  She is posting a family portrait every week in 2015.  I looked at that and thought, "That's so rad! But, I am not Super Mom like Meghan.  Maybe I'll try every month!"

So...here is my first shot!  I give you the first family photo of 2015!  Let's see if I can keep this up!

Yes, I am trying to grow a beard.  I'll post about that later.  Key word is "trying."

And, since I know you were curious.  Here are some of the outtakes:

Modeling while I set up the camera. 

More modeling. Super enthusiastic. 

So hard to get a real smile out of this kid. No clue where he gets that. 

Not sure where those bunny ears are coming from, but pretty sure it's Kim. 

Goodnight!  Go Seahawks!!!

Conversation Pieces - Words that have the "Sh" sound

Don't worry...it's not what you think.

Desmond's class learned the "sh" sound last week.  Today, on the way to school, as I sometimes do, I quizzed him on what he was learning.

Me: "So...you learned the 'sh' sound in school?"

Des: "MmHmm."

Me: "Can you think of any words with the 'sh' sound?"

Des: *silence...he hates when I quiz him.*

Me: "Maybe 'SHoe?'  Or 'SHip?'

Des: "Richard SHerman?"

Me: "Yup...that qualifies!"

BEASTMODE!

It's Superbowl week!  My Seattle Seahawks are in the Superbowl!  The first team to go to back to back Superbowl since their opponents, the New England Patriots did it back in the year that they did it.  Whenever that was.

I figure this is a great week to write about the Seahawks and why I love the heck out of them!!!

I would like to start with the one and only...Marshawn Lynch!

If you watch sports, you have probably heard of Marshawn.  Or...maybe you have heard of his nickname: Beastmode!

Beastmode isn't a nickname as much as a state of play.  It's what Marshawn calls it when he is able to burst through the line.  When he runs 90 yards across the field for a touchdown.  When he drags defenders with him as he forces his way across the first down marker.

Perhaps you have heard of the famous "Beast Quake!"  A run during the playoffs that got the crowd so fired up that it actually registered on the Richter Scale!




Then...there is notorious interviewing style.  Notorious mainly because of his lack of interviewing.

The good people over at MyNorthwest.com went ahead and ranked his Top 10 interviews for you: http://mynorthwest.com/1046/2692511/Marshawn-Lynchs-10-best-interviews-ranked

Then, there is his most recent interview, done with Skittles!  Check that out here.

Of course, the media hates that he doesn't do interviews.  It's in his contract to do interviews and he doesn't do them.  The league likes to fine him for this.  Oh...and he likes to grab his crotch when he scores a touchdown.  The league likes to fine him for that, too.  Forget that murderers and rapists and wife beaters all get to keep playing in the NFL.  Don't grab your junk, Marshawn!!!

Brace yourselves, Patriots fans.  Beastmode is coming!

Mawage

So...I'm getting married.  I've mentioned it a few times on here, but I haven't formally introduced the three of you to Kim.  Kim is gonna marry me.  And, just so you know, I have given her plenty of time to sober up and change her mind.  She still says she's going to marry me.

I met Kim on eHarmony.  As you can see in an earlier post, I was not a big fan of dating.  And, by not a big fan, I mean I hated it.  I had a couple potentials, if you will, but nothing that ended up being much.  I even got dumped twice by the same person.  That's how awesome I am.

So...I meet Kim on eHarmony and we're chatting and having a good time.  Then, I get all busy and stuff, and my cat dies, and I hate women and I travel, and I just kinda figure she's just another one that won't amount to much.  But, what the heck.  I'll give this one last girl a shot before turning off the dating profile for a bit and just spending some time enjoying life as a single dad.

We go on a date.  But, this date wasn't quite like the other dates.  It was instantly comfortable.  Like, instantly.  I showed up late because I got caught up at work.  So, I went in nervous (I hate being late).  She was already chillin' with a drink.  She got up, gave me an amazing perfect smile, with her cute little dimples, and gave me a big hug.  And, we started chatting.

Now, on other dates, it was awkward discussion until our time was up and we would give awkward hugs before going home (I have a dog, you see.  He needs to pee).  However, this time, the time to leave was coming up.  But, I didn't want to go!  I did something I hadn't done before on a date.  I called the neighbor and asked her to let Quincy out for me!

Fast forward.  We date, it's fun.  We find excuses to see each other.  Like, oh, hey...you're leaving town.  How about if I hike my ass over to your side of the lake in the middle of traffic so we can have coffee before your flight.  Or...hey...why don't you come over to my office and we can grab lunch in the middle of the day.

About 2 months (or so) in, I decide to introduce her to Desmond.  See, possibly one of my biggest criteria in finding a partner is how this person interacts with Desmond.  I may get along great with them, but if they don't like my kid (or if my kid doesn't like them), I don't plan to waste a ton of time with this person.  Kim was originally introduced as "Daddy's friend Kim."  To say Desi took well to her is an understatement.

Grandma was in town at the same time.  So, we were going to introduce both the kid AND the mother.  Talk about pressure for Kim.

We went to The Old Spaghetti Factory.  Classy, I know.  Mom, Des and I arrived first.  Mom and Des sat at one side of the table.  I sat on the other with the empty chair saved for Kim.

Kim arrives.  Desi leans over to Grandma and whispers something.  Grandma says "Oh," and looks at me.

"Desmond says he wants me to trade places with Kim," says Grandma.

Kid made one of his favorite people in the world move for the new girl.

Anyway, fast forward past multiple more dates, concerts, shows, hand holding, schmoopy eyes, etc and I decide to invite Kim on our Hawaii trip.  I mean, Des loves her, my parents love her.  And, what do you know, I love her to.  So, let's take this trip.

Well, many of you may have noticed that this whole thing moved pretty fast.  I started getting inklings of, Dang...I think I could marry this girl. Those inklings got stronger and stronger.  Until finally, I decided, Yeah...I'm gonna do this.  This girl is awesome.  Why wouldn't I want to marry her?  Everything fits!  Everything is right!  And, we're not getting any younger.  As a very wise philosopher once said, "If you like it then you gotta put a ring on it."  So, I bought a ring.

What better place to pop the question than in paradise.  So, we went out for some cocktails, took a walk at the marina and I popped the question.

Funny story, I had this routine that I had planned.  I'm not going to tell you what it was because it was totally hokey and schmoopy (I've always wanted to use the word schmoopy twice in a post).  But, it didn't involve putting the ring on her finger, simply in her hand.  So, she gets really excited, says yes (I triple checked) starts crying and throws her arms around me.  Unbeknownst to me, she slips the ring on her finger somewhere in this process.  I pulled out of the hug and reached for the hand that I put the ring in.  The ring wasn't there!  OH MY GOD!!!  THE DIAMOND RING HAS FALLEN INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN!!!!

No no, it's ok.  It's on her finger.  WHEW!

Anyway, we're officially getting hitched in June.  We're going back to Maui!  Why?  Well, we discovered that it's actually not THAT much more expensive to get married in Hawaii as opposed to somewhere in Washington.  Weddings are expensive, no matter what.  We could cross our fingers that it doesn't rain on us and find a place that is nice enough but not bank breaking.  Or...instead of breaking the bank in Washington, let's break it in Maui!!!!

Some pics below.  If you want to follow along on the wedding details, check out our website: http://www.pankomine.com.  Please note: being aware of this website does NOT mean you're invited!!!  Kim won't let me post it on Facebook because she doesn't want everyone to assume they're invited.  So, there!  I just told you you're not invited!  Unless you are invited.  In which case, you probably already know.

She's a real winner.  We've got ourselves a good thing going on.  Hurray for 2nd chances!

My old favorite movies are so OLD!

Often, I think about how exciting it will be to introduce Desmond to some of the things that I used to love as a kid.  Particularly movies!  There are some movies that I JUST KNOW he will love as much as I did.

• Goonies
• Ghostbusters
• Star Wars 
• Three Amigos
• Back to the Future

You know.  The new Classics.  

But, here's the thing.  These movies are so freakin' old, now!

It's like when my dad tried to get me to watch movies from the 70s.  I was like, DANG...those special effects are so fake!

Let's take Back to the Future.  Kim and I were just talking about how we want to watch the trilogy.  My mom bought it for me a few years ago.  I just need to find it in my still packed moving boxes.  

Anyway, I was thinking about how awesome it would be to have Des watch that with me.  

Then I realized the following things. 

• Des has no idea what a Delorean is. 
• Des has no idea what a Walkman is. 
• Back to the Future: Part 2 happens this year!
• Des won't get any of the references in the Cafe 80s scene (Ronald Regan, Max Headroom, Jaws 19 (shark still looks fake), etc.

I watched the trailer for it the other day and it even caught me off guard just how old that movie looks.  

I will probably skip showing him Back to the Future, for now.  I'll wait until it moves from old to "retro."  

Gangnam Style!

A while ago, Desmond posed the following question to me: "Dad...what does sexy mean?"

Uhhhhh

I tried, as best I could, to explain what it means.  I think I said something to the effect of, "It's a way to describe a person who someone finds attractive."

The next question was, "Is it a bad word?"  Desmond has been very curious about bad words, lately.

"No...it's not a bad word, necessarily," I respond.  "But, I don't think it's a word people would like hearing from a 6 year old."

This seemed to satisfy him.

"So," I ask, "Where did you hear this word?"

Desmond responds, "Heeeeeeeeeey, Sexy Ladies!!!"

Yes...my son learned the word sexy from the song Gangnam Style.

I will occasionally hear him singing the song when he thinks I'm not listening.  It's one of his favorite songs.  His old favorite was "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore.  That one was more tolerable.

Anyone...in honor of Desmond's new favorite song, I give you this:

SEAHAWKS ARE SUPERBOWL BOUND!!!! But...

Seattle Seahawks are once again heading to the Superbowl!  The first time in 10 years that a team has made it all the way to the big game in defense of their championship.

I am very excited!  SUPER DUPER excited!

So, don't misunderstand what I have to say here.

I am seeing a ton of posts from friends about this NFC Championship game being the best Hawks game, ever.  And, stats about how Russell Wilson has more playoff victories against Superbowl winning quarterbacks than anyone else.  And, other posts that seem to forget one thing.

WE WERE 2 MINUTES AWAY FROM LOSING THIS THING!

We were down by 2 touchdowns with only 2:09 to go before the Hawks went on their tear.  We were outplayed for 95% of that game.  And, an argument could be made that it was the coin toss that won us the game.  Nice job, Tavaris Jackson!!!

We have a Superbowl to win, now.  And, we ain't going to do that with 4 interceptions, a fumbled punt return and defense that isn't its normal ass kicking self.

Let's be excited!  But, unlike last year, we can't be cocky this time.  Green Bay played a better over all game.  We played a better 3 minutes.  I am proud of the team!  I am excited to be a 12th Man.  But, I also know how close that really was.  We need a much better game next week.

Check out Russell Wilson's post game interview.  He knows he struggled.  He's emotional, not just because they're going to the Superbowl, but because he knows they almost lost it.



Great job, Seahawks!  Great job, Russell Wilson!  I am so HYPED to watch my team defend their championship!  Let's just not have another game like 2 weeks from now.