Tuesday, May 15, 2018

One Year With The Littlest Dude

This little dude turned 1 yesterday!!!!

On one hand...the time has flown by.

On the other hand...it totally hasn't!  It feels like he's been here forever. 

Here's some things we've learned about Owen Francis over the last 12 months.
  1. He is a VERY happy baby!  Possibly the happiest I have ever met.  This kid had an ear infection for weeks and we had no clue.  Because he was always in good spirits. 
  2. He LOVES his brother.  Nobody makes this kid laugh like Desmond.  NOBODY!  Not me, not Kim, not Elmo.  And, Desmond doesn't even need to work very hard for Opie's approval.  He just needs to do a crazy dance.  And Opie Cracks.The.Hell.Up! 
  3. He is the best hugger.  His hugs are amazing!  And, it's not just the Pankows that think this way.  Even his teachers and other daycare parents have commented on it.  He is a Ph.D. in Hugging. 
  4. He wants to be the loudest person in the room.  Doesn't matter if he's sitting right next to you.  He'll say what he has to say and he'll say it cranked up to 11.
  5. He doesn't like olives.  Ok...I actually don't know if this is true or not.  But, if he's my kid, he won't like olives.
  6. His favorite toy is that thing you don't want him to play with.  Could be the TV remote, could be the laptop, could be a power outlet.  Anything but his own toys. 
  7. His favorite song is "Run, Baby, Run" by Casper Babypants. 
  8. His 2nd favorite song is "The Hamilton Polka" by Weird Al.  Ok, also don't know if this is true.  But, let's pretend it is. 
  9. He is very squirrely.  He can't sit still.  He's about 2 seconds from walking.  When he figures that out, there will be no stopping him.
  10. He has the women in his life wrapped around his little finger.  His mom, his grandmas, his teachers, the waitress at the restaurant, our real estate agent, the flight attendants, etc, etc, etc.  Not his dad, though.  I'm on to his antics!

It's been quite a ride this year.  I asked Desmond how he has enjoyed his first year of being a brother.  His response:

"I love it!  Although...sometimes it's a bit stressful.  But, good stressful."

Yup...I think that about sums it up!  This is a good kid we have here.  My genes must be amazing cuz I have the best kids.  I'm excited to see what year 2 holds. 

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Babies in Movie Theaters...DON'T DO IT!

Today is a rant day. 

To say that I was STOKED to see the Avengers this weekend is an understatement.  I haven't only been waiting for this moment since Nick Fury showed up during the credits of Iron Man...I have been waiting for this moment since I first read the Infinity Gauntlet when I was in JR. HIGH SCHOOL!  And, if you didn't know...I'm damn old, man!  As I am reminded with every new coworker who doesn't realize who Eddie Vedder is.

But, I digress. 

As is the case with any Marvel or Star Wars movie, I had my tickets to go opening day!!!

Given that Kim really isn't into anything with lasers, I have no guilt in attending these movies by myself.  In fact, I kind of enjoy the time.  So, I will sneak out after the boys go to sleep, have myself a beer and watch myself a movie.

This particular show started at 9:20 PM.  As in, at night.  When it's dark.  When children are supposed to be asleep.

So, I was particularly surprised when some people walked in with a baby.

No, no...surely this isn't an ACTUAL baby.  Must be a doll.  Or, maybe just a very small adult who likes to be carried around. 

Nope...it's a baby. 

What in the ever loving hell, people??????  Why do you bring your damn baby to the movies?  I can't think of anything more selfish.  I mean, other than that time Rose hogged the board while Jack died.  But, whatever.

Here's the most annoying part.  There were 3 adults in this party.  I assume mom and dad along with a third person.  So, none of these three people took it upon themselves to say, "Hey...maybe I'll go see this tomorrow.  You guys go enjoy it yourselves WITHOUT BRINGING THE BABY!"

But, nope...nobody said that.  They decided to make it a big ol' family event.

Of course, 3 minutes into the movie, the baby started crying.  And, why wouldn't he?  It's a freakin' super hero movie.  It's loud and there are big scary bad guys on the screen.  This is when the parents decided to take the baby out of the theater.

JUST KIDDING!  They didn't do that.  They, instead, continually tried shoving a bottle in the babies mouth.  "shhhhh, shhhhhhh, shhhhh" they would say.

"You are the worst parents," the baby would reply.

A little over an hour into the movie, the baby finally fell asleep.  So...about 11:00, approximately (previews, in case you're checking my math).  One hour into the movie.  During that whole hour, the baby wanted nothing more than to be in bed and I wanted nothing more than to spill my cherry coke on someone's head. 

If I were better at being passive aggressive, I would have said, "Oh, your baby is so cute!  I have one about the same age.  I left him at home!"  But, I didn't.

Seriously, people!  Babies don't belong in movie theatres.  If you can't wait to see the movie, find a sitter.  Or...take turns going.  If you want quality time with your baby in front of the big screen, go to one of those mommy and me screenings that many places have, now.  If you're a single parent...sorry, pal.  This is one of those sacrifices, along with sleep and pooping in private. 

I think the theaters should start charging for the baby.  Seriously...maybe that would discourage some of these idiots. 

I can't NOT chime in on this Supreme Court thing

So, it's no secret on this page that I am rapidly pro-life.  I don't beat around the bush on this topic.  But, what you may not know...