George R.R. Martin - The Best Lazy Writer in the 7 Kingdoms

I love the Game of Thrones TV show as well as the Song of Ice and Fire series that it's based on. 

Years ago, when GOT first aired, I didn't watch it.  I was familiar with the books, but I had never read them.  GOT started getting amazing reviews and many of my friends were blowing up social media every episode talking about how great it was.  So...I gave it a shot.  After 2 episodes, I was like, "Why in the heck would I want to watch this show?  It's sooooooo depressing!"

One of my friends (I wish I could remember who it was) said to me, "Have you read the books?  If not, you should read the books."

Challenge accepted.  I picked up the first book in the Song of Ice and Fire.  A book coincidentally entitled Game of Thrones!

Game of Thrones is not a short book.  Actually, it's rather lengthy.  But, I cranked through it in about 3 weeks.  The book was AWESOME!  Easily one of the best fantasies I have read.  Granted, I don't read a ton of fantasy.  Dragons and elves and dwarfs are not really my thing.  I hated reading Lord of the Rings.  Blasphemy, I know.  But, it was just soooooo boring.  

Game of Thrones, on the other hand, was action packed!  Exciting!  It had everything!  Mystery, suspense, politics, sex, violence, war!  It was great!  I was sucked in.  Once I finished the first book, I simultaneously started reading the 2nd (A Clash of Kings) and watching the complete first season of Game of Thrones. 

Book 5 (A Dance with Dragons) had just come out when I started reading Game of Thrones.  So, I was able to quickly plow through the existing novels about as quickly as one can read a book with 800-1000 pages while being a single dad and working a full time job.  I continued to absolutely love the series (although, book 5 was pretty slow up until the end), and I was constantly wanting more! 

But, my cravings were mostly satisfied by the show.  The show creators have done a good job of staying fairly close to the book.  More so than many other movie/tv adaptations I have seen.  Of course, they have to account for time and actors and blah blah blah.  But, overall I have been satisfied. 

Which leads me to the point of my post. 

I started reading the Song of Ice and Fire 5 years ago.  5 years ago, the last book in the series came out.  For 5 years, I and many other eager readers have been waiting to find out what happens to Jon Show, Danaerys, Tyrion, Bran, etc.  5 years we've had to forget the names and purposes of people like...well, the people I don't remember.  Dondarion, that guy that Davos was sent to talk to, Tyrions little dwarf girlfriend, Young Griff...like, I remember these people exist, but I don't really remember why in many cases.  

Yeah, yeah...it's a huge epic story.  It takes time.  I get it.  But, maybe instead of coming out with things like The Lands of Ice and Fire (a series of maps of Westeros and the surrounding areas) or The World of Ice and Fire (stories from the I&F universe), maybe he should sit down and focus on the Winds of Winter!

What really has me miffed right now about this whole thing is this article: Vanity Fair says that the show will spoil the books!

In other words, he has fallen so far behind that there is absolutely nothing he can do to keep up with the show writers who, supposedly, know how the whole thing is supposed to end. 

I frequently watch movies of excellent books I have read.  I rarely go back to read the book of an excellent movie I've seen.  I enjoy being surprised in books more than movies.  If I know how a book is going to end, I don't enjoy reading it.  Therefore, I don't read it.  Yes, yes...I am sure I am missing out on the art and literature whoopla.  But, I read books like Game of Thrones for entertainment.  If I want enlightenment, I'll pick up something about Buddha.  So, I highly doubt I will read the books once I find out who Jon Snow's mother is and who finally sits on the Iron Throne.  

I don't think GRRM gives 2 craps if we don't buy his books.  The dude is so rich at this point that it probably doesn't matter to him, anymore.  His show is a cultural phenom bigger than Justin Bieber.  He's set for life.

So, while I respect his writing skills, I find him to be one of the laziest writers I have ever read.  If he actually cared about his characters, if he cared about his readers, we would have a new book by now.  I should just stop getting my hopes up.  

Will you see the Ender's Game movie

So...if you've talked to me about books, you know that Ender's Game is my favorite book of all time.

My dad handed it to me in the 8th grade.  I refused to read it because I didn't like to read.  I liked comic books and watching TV.  I was dumb like that.

Finally (and, for the life of me, I can't remember why I changed my mind), I read it when I was a Junior in High School.  I fell in love.  I'm reading a book right now called "The Shadow of the Wind."  In it, there is a quote.  "Few things leave a deeper mark on the reader, than the first book that finds its way to his heart."  For me, this book is Ender's Game. 

I read a lot now.  Ender's Game is what made me a reader. 

Anywhoo...I could write about Ender's Game forever.  How the second book, Speaker for the Dead, was equally as good, but in a different way.  How the 3rd in the series was good not great and how the 4th felt like the author (Orson Scott Card) couldn't figure out how to properly end it, so he started writing gibberish.  Oh, then, I could write about how every single book since in the Ender universe was a pile of steamy horse crap written simply to make money off of the only character he was widely known for.

I digress.  Orson Scott Card is a Mormon.  He has never hidden this. In fact, he's pretty open about it.  Logically, one could therefore assume that he opposes gay marriage.  I don't read much of what he has to say outside of his books because, frankly, I don't care.  And...I'm still mad at him for ruining my favorite character of all time.  It wasn't until recently, now that an Ender's Game movie is in the can for November release, that I have been made aware of just how anti-gay marriage this dude really is.

He's not just against gay marriage for the same bullshit, but sometimes misguidedly logical, reasons your standard Republican homophobe is.  He's is downright "overthrow the government" opposed to gay marriage.

Now...I support gay marriage.  Yes, I am a Republican and I support gay marriage.  I can write an entire post about how it's hypocritical for Republicans to oppose gay marriage, but I'll save that for another day.  I support gay marriage.  But, I'm not really in the fight.  If you oppose gay marriage, I roll my eyes and move on.  I don't really have a horse in the race.  While I support it, I do not put it on the same level as the civil rights movement (gay people are not using separate drinking fountains) and I don't see marriage as a "right" to begin with.  Therefore, the issue does not fire me up like it does others. 

But, I do hate intolerance.  I do hate putting people in a lower class because there is something different about them.  And, this is where OSC has crossed the line for me.  Because people with a different lifestyle want the same perks as people with OSC's lifestyle, OSC is advocating revolution.  This is where he moves, for me, from one-hit-wonder-bad-writer-man, to jerk face.

If I think someone is a douche, I will not give them my money.  For example...I have never seen any movie by Roman Polanski because he is a rapist.  I don't care how artsy or moving or whatever these movies are.  I refuse to give my money to a rapist.  I don't see anything Mel Gibson is involved in anymore because he is a woman beating anti-Semite.  He doesn't get my money either.

But, damn...I LOVE this freakin' book!  For a long time now, I have envisioned seeing the movie.  Putting faces to beloved characters.  I've been wondering how the Battle Room can be brought to life with it's Zero-Gee fight scenes.  I so want to see Bonzo's eyes roll into the back of his head as Ender delivers a deadly blow to the crotch (oops...sorry.  Spoiler alert).  This book could very well be described as having changed my life (thanks, Dad!). 

What to do? 

An option I am considering...getting a less-than-legal downloaded copy from my buddy who hasn't paid for a movie in years.  I am typically morally opposed to this avenue.  But, I am also morally opposed to giving money to bigots. 

I have until November to figure this out.  Any philosophical advice???

A great way to pick up chicks...

...is to sit in a bar during happy hour reading books about having children.

Caught happy hour today (I do loves me my Happy Hours) and, as I usually do when I drink alone, I brought my book with me. Currently, I am reading a book for dudes about pregnancy. I'm sitting at the bar, and this chick asks me, "Is your wife having a baby?"

Now...the simple answer is, "Yes," right? Unfortunately for me, and anyone I talk to, I can never give the simple answer. I have to use sarcasm. So, I say, "No...I'm just like to read books so I'm prepared should I ever get the call."

"Really?"

"No...my wife's pregnant."

Anyway...apparently, chicks dig guys that would randomly be reading about having kids. Because she mentioned to me that it's a great way to attract women. Read about raising children. I have a feeling somebody's biological clock is ticking, or something.

For the record...my wedding ring was prominently displayed.

Baby books

We've been buying a lot of books. "What to Expect When You're Expecting," as we expected, was gifted to us. So, we didn't buy that one.

I bought "The Everything Guide for the Father-to-Be" or something. Whatever the Everything Guide is for expecting fathers. So far...I think it's crap.

Basically...the book is constantly telling me to "be there for your partner," and "make sure you are there to support her," over and over again.

No shit, Sherlock. Here, I am looking for something to help me quit freaking out. I'm looking for guidance and how to come up with $$$ for daycare. And, what am I going to do about my psycho dog?

One line I thought was really stupid was in the section on choosing whether or not to learn the sex of your baby, early. He says that most men want to have a boy. But, some men feel threatened by the possibility of having a boy, so they prefer to have a girl.

What?

Seriously...somebody paid you for this?

Anyway...I've also been on BabyCenter.com a lot. This is a great website. Shows you what baby looks like at each week. Doctor thinks we're 7 weeks, we think we're 6 (cuz we didn't get busy 7 weeks ago). Regardless, baby is growing arms and legs, right now. Baby also has a little tail, which will go away, eventually.