A Dusty Bar in Texas

 Chuck Norris died and I was feeling creative or something. 

______________

A dusty bar in Texas. A man among men sits at the bar, disappointed in the strength of the alcohol he is drinking. He takes another sip and wipes his ginger beard.

Slowly, a cloaked figure approaches from behind.

"Again?" says the bearded man. "How many times must we do this?"

"Just hear me out," says the cloaked figure, easing onto the stool beside him.

The cloaked figure is alone. Unarmed. Cautious.

With a bony hand, he slides a document across the bar. The man reads it slowly.

"Peace," he says. Not a question.

A long silence settles between them.

He slides the paper back and looks to the bartender. "Ranger Creek for me and my friend here.”

The cloaked figure waves his bony hand. "No, thank you. I'll just have a Shirley Temple."

The man drinks, slower this time. When the glass is empty, he sets it down gently.

No rush now.

He stands, steady as ever, and looks at the cloaked figure.

"Alright," he says. Not surrender. Not defeat.

A decision.

"Let's go."

My Favorite Movie from every year I've been alive

I saw this going around on Facebook and thought it would be pretty fun.  So, I am throwing it up for both of my blog readers.  Feel free to take a stab on your own pages or in the comments, if you want.
The rules are simple...list your favorite movie for every year since the year of your birth.  Not necessarily the "best" movie.  That's very subjective.  Your FAVORITE movie.  For example:  Amadeus is a fantastic movie and it won Best Picture in 1984.  But, that's the same year that Ghostbusters, The Karate Kid and The Never Ending Story all came out.  I would pick any of those as my favorite over Amadeus without denying the greatness of that particular movie.  

So there you go.  And here I go:

1977: Star Wars (that was easy)
1978: Superman (what a crappy year for movies)
1979: Alien
1980: The Empire Strikes Back
1981: Raiders of the Lost Ark
1982: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (this one was hard as ET and Rocky III were also this year)
1983: Return of the Jedi (squeaks by A Christmas Story)
1984: Ghostbusters
1985: Really hard...but, Back to the Future just beats Goonies.
1986: The Three Amigos
1987: The Princess Bride (I bet you're surprised this beats out Masters of the Universe and Over the             Top!)
1988:  Die Hard...the greatest Christmas movie of all time!
1989: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
1990: The Hunt for Red October
1991: Beauty and the Beast (don't judge...or judge...I don't care!)
1992: A League of Their Own
1993: The Fugitive
1994: Forrest Gump
1995: Showgirls.  Just kidding!  Crimson Tide
1996: The Rock
1997: Contact
1998: Saving Private Ryan (this is also the year I lost faith in the Oscars when they gave Best Picture           to Shakespeare in Love)
1999:  Fight Club (BARELY over The Matrix)
2000: Bring It On
2001: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
2002: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
2003: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2004: Anchorman 
2005: Batman Begins
2006: The Prestige
2007: 300
2008: The Dark Knight
2009: The Hurt Locker
2010: Inception
2011: The Muppets
2012: The Avengers
2013: Monsters University
2014: Guardians of the Galaxy
2015: Star Wars: The Force Awakens 
2016: Rogue One

Pretty sure 2017 will be this one:

Things That Make Me Smile - Derek Hough

I don't watch Dancing With the Stars.  My folks watch it religiously.  Kim watches it occasionally, but she doesn't watch a ton of TV in general.  I was more of a So You Think You Can Dance, guy.  But, I just can't really commit to any more shows what with my ongoing relationship with The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Agents of Shield.  

But, when I do see DWTS with Kim or my folks, I am always amazed at the talent of Derek Hough.  It's clear to me that he has a ton of talent.  I enjoy watching him every time he's on.  He makes those lame ass D-list celebrity women look amazing!!!

Anyway, here is a routine my dad sent to me a while back.  I still go back and watch it here and there because I so enjoy the way they pull it off.  It's not the first time this trick has been done (See Fred Astaire), but it is one of the best.  The way they move seamlessly from one wall to another.  The way one is on the floor while the other is on the ceiling.  It truly well done.

Enjoy!

Things That Make Me Smile - Gonzo Sings the Humpty Dance

Who doesn't love the Humpty Dance?  And, who doesn't love Gonzo?

Now...you can love them both!!!


 

Reviving the X-Files?????

It's been rumored for a while!  Now, it's official!!!  FOX is reviving my favorite show of ALL TIME...The X-Files!!!

I've been asked my thoughts on this.  So, here you go!

I was an X-Phile since the very beginning.  I started watching in High School.  I was pretty active in extra curricular stuff in HS (you know...band, theatre, flirting with chick).  Back in the days of VCRs, I had a tape labeled with "The X-Files."  Everyone in the house knew that this tape was not to be used for ANYTHING else.  Because, no matter what I had going on, I would NOT miss a single episode of Mulder and Scully's search for the Truth!!!

Fast forward to college, I continued to be obsessed.  I even drug my dorm mates into my obsession.  We would get together in Michael Paine's room across the hall (I didn't have a TV in my room) and watch.

Even in the end, when it started to get lame (particular during the Agents Doggett and Gish year), I watched...even if I was surfing the internet at the same time.  I didn't like the end of the series.  I barely remember it.  I just remember I didn't like it.

Let's not even talk about the 2nd movie.  I like to pretend that one doesn't exist.  Kinda like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Anyway...despite it's faults at the end, it still remains my favorite show of all time.  Even more than LOST.  When I heard that they were bringing it back, I became cautiously optimistic!

The first rumors I heard made it sound like a reboot.  You know, like JJ Abrams' Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica or the 15th version of Spiderman.  This really peaked my interest.  A new Mulder and Scully!  A new FBI complete with smart phones and Patriot Act capabilities!

But, it turns out that's not what this is.  It's actually David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson coming back to reprise the roles they created.  Ok...this could be interesting.  But...it leaves me slightly concerned.  Mostly about how it all ended to begin with.  Like I said, I didn't like how the X-Files ended.  I particular hated the 2nd Movie that shall not be named.  Is this all still part of the X-Files universe or will they simply pretend they don't exist like Bryan Singer did when he made Superman Returns?

But, honestly...what concerns me most about the X-Files revival is this.  It's only 6 episodes.  THIS ISN'T ENOUGH!  It's just going to be a teaser!!!  It's just going to make me want so much more!!!  Unless it sucks, but I am trying to stay positive.  I have high hopes that it will be amazing and I will want more and more and more!!!  More A.D. Skinner, more Krycek, more Lone Gunmen, more Cancer Man!!!

So, there you go.  I'm excited!  I'm super excited!  But, I'm nervous.  But, then I am excited again and disappointed that it's not enough!  Confusing, right?

Bottom line, though...I get to see Agent Scully again!  And, if there is one woman that has topped my list for a really long time, it would be Gillian Anderson and Dana Scully.

The Truth is Out There!

Things that make me smile - Shia LaBouf...not what you think, though.

I frequently post things like this on Facebook.  Might as well make it a category here.

I am not a fan of Shai LaBouf.  I hate when actors take themselves too seriously.  Acting is more of a talent than an art, IMHO.  I mean, you are taking someone else's material and interpreting it through your actions and voice.  You're not the creator.  The writer is the creator.  You're just bringing a creation to life.  Shia LaBouf is a dude who likes to talk smack about a movie like Transformers.  A bad movie, maybe.  But, regardless...it's the only reason anyone knows his name.

Still, that's all irrelevant.  That is really more about why I don't pay money to see Shai LaBouf in movies.

But, I recently came across this little ditty.  It's pretty funny.  If you're having trouble understanding them, turn on the closed captions.

An example like from the song, "Actual cannibal, Shai LaBouf!"

Enjoy!

I would have run it with Lynch...

The best way to summarize a depressing Superbowl with depressing ads. #Nationwide

Gangnam Style!

A while ago, Desmond posed the following question to me: "Dad...what does sexy mean?"

Uhhhhh

I tried, as best I could, to explain what it means.  I think I said something to the effect of, "It's a way to describe a person who someone finds attractive."

The next question was, "Is it a bad word?"  Desmond has been very curious about bad words, lately.

"No...it's not a bad word, necessarily," I respond.  "But, I don't think it's a word people would like hearing from a 6 year old."

This seemed to satisfy him.

"So," I ask, "Where did you hear this word?"

Desmond responds, "Heeeeeeeeeey, Sexy Ladies!!!"

Yes...my son learned the word sexy from the song Gangnam Style.

I will occasionally hear him singing the song when he thinks I'm not listening.  It's one of his favorite songs.  His old favorite was "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore.  That one was more tolerable.

Anyone...in honor of Desmond's new favorite song, I give you this:

Ben Franklin was my favorite president!

For a bazillion reasons.  But, this is article just solidifies my favoritism.

Ben Franklin wrote an essay about farting!!

Specifically, he was basically telling scientists that they needed to invent a way to make farts smell good.

Here's the best line from the essay: "Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses."

Would you expect anything less coming from the guy who wrote the Constitution?

You see, Ben Franklin was very forward thinking.  He knew that some 230+ years later, some ridiculously good looking gentleman would be sitting in his office all alone.  He would know that this gentleman may be in his office, without visitors for quite some time.  This gentleman will perhaps suspect that he may not see a real live person for a good chuck of the afternoon because many of his colleagues are working remotely or tied up in meetings that day.  Therefore, this gentleman may just get comfortable enough in his closed surroundings to "let one go," shall we say.  It is not impossible, in fact science (aka...the number of times this has happened to this nameless gentleman) has shown that it is rather likely, that another person will indeed unexpectedly pop into this gentleman's office not 10 seconds after pressure was relieved leaving a noticeable cloud of odor lingering in the vicinity.

Ben Franklin, genius that we was, likely foresaw the awkward silence that followed the entrance to the office.  Where the colleague once had a smile, a funny sneer has appeared as the new arrival looks around the room, eyes finally settling on those of the gentleman who is sitting in his chair innocently trying to convey a look of "Nothing is wrong in this room...everything is completely normal and the air is totally clean and clear.  There is obviously no fart smell here...in fact, I don't even know why you may think that and I am certainly not going to outwardly suggest that you may be thinking it on the off chance that you weren't.  Actually, are you sure that's not your cologne?"

Thank you, Dr. Franklin.  Not only did you help found our country...you reminded us all that even giants among men occasionally need to cut the cheese.

In Case You Missed It, Michael Keaton's Golden Globe Acceptance Speech

I haven't seen Birdman, yet.  But, I really want to.  I'm waiting for it to come out on video.  Although, my buddy just hooked me up with a digital copy, so I will try to watch it this weekend.

Regardless...check out Michael Keaton's acceptance speech.

I love when famous people show their humanity.  I get tired of people thanking their lawyers and their agents and yes...even God.  This is the kind of speech that makes you happy.