And, heeeeere's Opie!

Owen Francis Pankow!  Born May 14, 2017.  6 lbs, 15 ounces.  Somewhere between 6 and 60 inches.  Lots of hair.  Uhhh...what else do people ask for when it comes to babies? 

Welcome to the world, Owen!

So, let me tell you how this all went down.  Pics at the bottom of the post. 

It's Monday night.  I am NOT currently in Mountain View.  I am at Swedish Hospital in Seattle with my beautiful wife and my 2 (count them...one, two) sons! 

Saturday night, Kim and I were chilling at home.  I had already checked into my flight to San Jose scheduled for the next day and I was procrastinating putting my bag together.  Kim had just come over and kissed me goodnight.  I was going to watch an episode of American Gods.  Kim goes into the bathroom.

2 minutes later, "Ummm...Honey???  I think my water just broke."

No it didn't.  It's too early for that.  I have to be on a plane in 14 hours. 

Alas...her water did indeed break. 

FULL STOP!  SHIFT GEARS!!!

Emails sent to my new boss and my recruiter.  Ticket and hotel cancelled (to be rescheduled), forget about a luggage for San Jose, we already have hospital bags ready.  I checked all the boxes to kick off the labor process and spend a few hours at home while Kim labors there.

Nope.

Contractions progress very rapidly.  Like, really really rapidly.  They weren't lasting a full minute.  But, there were coming within 5 minutes of each other.  So, we opt to go to the hospital.  Worse case, they send us home.

They didn't send us home.  This baby is on the way!!!

I've mentioned before that I think women are amazing.  If I had to give birth, I would have filed for lifetime celibacy.

We got to the hospital around 10:30 or so.  Right to triage and taken to a birthing suite within 30 minutes.  Kim had an epidural put in around 11:30 or so and things started to calm down.  At that point, the nurse suggested we try to get some rest while we wait for the baby to move down a bit.  So we did.

Around 7ish, the pushing began. 

Push, push, PUUUUUUSH!  Ok, didn't work.  Go again.  Push, push, PUUUUUUUUSH!!!  No luck.

4 hours later, Dr. comes in with forceps.  Apparently, she's an expert with these.

(Side note...Kim's OB, Dr. Oman is pretty rad.  She's young, but she's also no nonsense.  She was totally rad and she's been with us from start to finish, from our original insemination to...well, what's coming up.)

Dr. Oman has the forceps.  But, after feeling around, she's not 100% sure she wants to use them.  It sounds like the problem is that Owen was not turning properly.  The Dr. wasn't able to get a good read on his shoulders.  Was he not turning because he's shoulders are too big?  It is his head?  What's going on?  Regardless, he's not coming out correctly.  We need to take alternative measures.  In her words, we should pick one. Nobody needs to be a hero.  So, rather than attempt forceps, which might not work, her recommendation was a C-section. 

So, C-section it is.

Now, I know many people who have had C-sections.  They've been successful.  Happy, healthy babies.  But, it was still scary going into an OR with a bunch of strange people (although, Dr. Oman was the surgeon, which was rad) getting ready to watch your wife get cut open. 

But, it went super smoothly!  Dr. O walked us through what was going to happen.  They put the big blue sheet up so we couldn't see what was happening, and they got to work. 

A few minutes in, Kim says to me, "I just felt them put an organ on my stomach."  ew.

A few minutes after that, I hear Dr. Oman say, "Dad, do you want to watch your son be born."

"Nope," I reply.

"Yes you do," she says.  "Stand up."

So, I stand up.  And there is my son, Owen Francis Pankow, being held by the doctor, umbilical chord attached to him at one end and going into my wife's bloody stomach at the other.  It was amazing.  Then he made his first noise.  Kim and I looked at each other and we were both crying.  I sat back down before I passed out.

I went over and hung out with Opie while Kim got stitched up.   Other than one "battle wound" from the surgery and a bit of a cone head from being stuck somewhere in Kim's pelvis, he was perfect! 

Due to the C-section, we get an extra day at the hospital.  Desmond is very excited to have his bro at home.  Shaundar brought him by last night to meet Owen for the first time.  It was one of the highlights of my whole life.  He's came again tonight for a bit to hang out.  He's going to be a great big bro. 

That's all I got for you.  Here's some pics! 

Right out of the oven.

What. The heck, people.  I did not ask to come out.

Mama gets to hold her baby for the first time. 

Kim's team.

Just don't look over the curtain.

Mommy should be pretty proud of her work.

Meeting his big bro for the first time! 

I've got some coming, soon.  This post was started the day we were supposed to leave.  Alas, we had to stay an extra day so Owen could use the tanning bed.  I'll write about that in the next post.  Stay tuned.

In the meantime...here is my new favorite video OF.ALL.TIME!

100% unprompted.  Love my boys!

We have amazing friends!! Well, Kim does, at least.

Just kidding!  My friends are great, too!  And, we all know that a bonus for having Kim as a friend is getting me, too!!!

So, Kim has recently completed Baby Shower #3!

Baby Shower #1 was held by her girlfriends.

This was taken right before the pillow fight. 

This was taken right before I ate all the Nutter Butters. 

 This was taken. 

Then her coworkers threw one.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) Kim's friend Michaela only took pics of me.  I mean, I'm dead sexy, so I get it.  But here they are. 

Here's me being awesome in Owen's new Mariners hat. 

Here's me being awesome and eating baby food for money (guess the food...$5 for each correct answer...I got $20!  I think I left it in my pants pocket),

Here's Kim joining in my awesomeness.  

And, finally...the 2nd grade mom's at Our Lady of Guadalupe threw one!  Alas, I haven't received any pics from this one.  Although, it did come with a great "Diaper cake" made by Grace.  

People rock!  We love you guys!  We've pretty much checked everything off of our baby list.  There is more stuff that we will get a bit later.  Our house is only so big, so there will need to be some rotation.  Although, he currently has 92 onesies.  That is not a joke.  He literally has 92 onesies.  Not a lot of pants, though.  So, we'll either need to by him some bottoms or he can just start taking after dad early and go pantless most of the time. 

Anyway, friends rule!  Thanks, all!!  

Kid is HUGE...actually, no he's not

So...Kim has this a human inside her.  And, he takes up a lot of space!  Like, seriously...when he moves, you can't miss it.  It looked something like this:

[editors note:  here was inserted a scene from the movie Aliens...however, given that baby mamma reads this blog, the editor has decided to remove said scene to avoid early labor]

See...clearly not a lot of room.

Therefore, in her last trip to the Doc, Doc suggested another ultrasound.  Because, if this kid is too huge and he's to term, she says she's not going to force Kim to wait another 3 weeks.

OMG...did I just say 3 weeks?  Wow...that's like, really soon.

So, we go to the ultrasound.

We see a little footsie wootsie!  And, we get a good shot of his face, straight on!  From what we saw, it appears he will have a shorter Romine nose as opposed to the pointy Pankow nose that Desmond and I share.

And we see that he is just under 6 lbs, exactly where he should be.

Translation:  No early baby for you.

This is probably good as we're totally NOT ready.  I mean, we've got the baby room all set up and we've got the carseat and all the stuff we need.  So, I guess we're pretty much "ready."  But, we're totally not READY, if you know what I mean.

Our Baby Registry!

Here it is!

https://www.babylist.com/kim-pankow

Oh, and I just learned that the nursery colors are Navy, Grey, Mint and White.

This registry is important for a few reasons. One...when people ask, what do you need, we can send them here!

Also...when certain people *cough*grandma*cough* discover an adorable little baby safe lava lamp or a collection of Elmo In Grouchland collector edition lithographs, we can point them to this and say, "We only need stuff on our list, please."

Poor Kim.  Kim doesn't like "stuff."  She doesn't like clutter of any kind.  She says her goal is to have a "minimalist baby."

I responded with "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

So far, I have purchased a onesie set in Griffindor colors that says "Snuggle This Muggle," another with a Stormtrooper logo that says "Storm Pooper."  And a knit greet hat with Yoda ears.  Kid needs to stay warm, right?

There's still a baby in there

Popped in for the something week ultrasound last week!  The tech confirmed that there is indeed a baby still in there!

This trip was a redo.  Owen doesn't love to pose for the camera.  So, they weren't able to get all the shots they wanted to at the last one.  Particularly the kidneys.  Last trip, there was no view of the kidneys.  Of course, to parents that means he has no kidneys and something is wrong.

But, it was just because he wouldn't get into the right position.  This last appointment, we confirmed there are kidneys.

Here are some photos for you to admire.

We brought Desmond along with us on this trip.  The tech printed out for him his very own photo.  He took it to school with him and, according to the principal, was showing everyone!  He was apparently very proud. :-)  He'll be a great big bro, me thinks.  

Knocking up your wife, the 21st Century Way

A quick disclaimer...this post is LOADED with TMI.  If you don't want to hear about it, best to skip this one.

________________________________________


You may have noticed already, but I am not as young as I used to be.  And, while she is much better looking than I am, Kim is EVEN OLDER! 

So, this whole getting knocked up thing was harder than one might expect.

First of all...baby was always part of the deal when we decided to get married.  While I have been pretty indifferent about more kids (I wasn't planning it, but I also wasn't opposed and I knew if I wanted to remarry it had to be an option), it was always a big thing on Kim's list.  And, while she is an amazing step-mom, we both knew when we got hitched that we needed to plan for a family addition.

What we didn't know was how hard it would be.

We started trying right away after we got married.  Nothing was happening.  But, we figured we would give it some time.

Finally, after a year, we decided to see the doc.  What's going on here? 

Our assumption was that there was something malfunctioning on Kim's side.  Maybe she was too old.  As I mentioned in a previous post, she is considered "geriatric" age in regards to making babies.  Kim went to the doc and got some hormone pill that was supposed to help her conceive.  I don't remember the science behind it.  I just remember that it also tripled the chances of conceiving multiples.  (I would just like to take a moment to thank my Heavenly Father that there is only one heartbeat in there). 

So, Kim's on the drugs and we're still trying (bow-chicka-bow-wow).  Still nothing.

One day, her doctor says to her, "How would your husband feel about getting tested?"

Well, of course that is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard of!  Why do I need to be tested?  I have a healthy kid running around.  My plumbing is fine.  But, I love my wife and we should check all the boxes.  So, of course I will get tested. 

Hey, look...something is wrong with my plumbing.

Wait...what????

Yup...turns out that, even with my little man being totally healthy, brilliant and, you know, existing, my pipes weren't working properly.  I won't give you the details because gross.  But, there you go.

This pretty much means that we can't get pregnant without help.  And by help, I mean medical intervention...not Jason Bateman visiting my house one night while I am out of town. 

If you have ever been curious about one of those "donation" sites looks like, I made you a quick video.  FYI, while this is rated PG, it's still TMI.  So, be prepared. 


tmi post from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.


Sorry for the top to bottom video. Broke my own rule about recording video.  I must have been distracted by the boobs.

An hour later, after they sorted out the lame-ohs, they handed me Styrofoam cup.  Inside was a test tube full of my Micheal Phelps's.  Yes, in a Styrofoam cup.  The idea was that, as we walked our sample from the deposit clinic to the Dr's office (both located in Seattle's First Hill), it wouldn't look too weird.  It would simply look like I was carrying a cup of coffee.  Kim even managed to keep a straight face as I raised my cup in "Good morning" to the passers by or in thanks to the vehicles that yielded to us. 

Anyway...later that day, in the romantic setting of Dr. Oman's exam room, our child was conceived via Intrauterine Insemination.  If you want, you can imagine the romantic music and the mood lighting.  It certainly wasn't a brightly lit room with 4 people and diagrams of lady naughty bits on the walls.

And, that's about it.  2.5 weeks later or so, Kim woke me up before she left for work at some ungodly hour and told me she's pregnant.  I immediately exclaimed "Just 5 more minutes."

We haven't told Jason Bateman, yet.  He'll be sad.

Get ready for round 2

Welp...

We're Facebook official, so I guess it's time to be blog official.

I hearby introduce you to Russell Wilson Aloysius Beastmode Jlaw Francis Pankow.



I should point out, while this is clearly the best name for our baby, Kim hasn't signed off on it, yet.  Heck, we don't even know if baby is a double X or an XY.  What we DO know...is that, come May, we won't be getting sleep, anymore. 

I've been going back to the early days of this blog (back when it was diaryofdadtobe.blogspot.com).  It's been fun to reminisce.  I expect this to be a completely different experience.  I mean, I will have an 8 year old and I am doing this with a new wife!  A wife who will be "geriatric age" when the baby is born.  I mean, I've always know Kim is way older than me (9 whole months), geriatric makes me feel like I'm married to a grandma. 

We are now safely into the 2nd trimester.  Just past 12 weeks.  Dr. says Russell looks great!  We did the blood test for genetic testing last week and are waiting for the results.  This should also tell us what flavor of baby we're having. 

We broke the news to Desmond a couple weeks ago.  I wanted to tell him right away!  If you know me, you know how terrible I am at keeping secrets.  But, we (I) stayed strong!  And, it turns out this was a good thing as Kim was right.  The second Desmond knew, he wanted to spread the word.  We went to the Halloween carnival at school and the first friend Desmond sees, he blurts out, "Did you know my stepmom is pregnant????"

The friend's response, "*blank stare* No."

Desmond: "She is.  She's pregnant!"

Friend: "Cool. *runs back to the carnival festivities.*"

The next week we began receiving congratulatory emails.  Turns out, Desmond broke the news to the class.  In his words, the boys didn't care, but the girls were really excited. 

I am proud to say that I am the best partner ever!  To help Kim out, I have been making sure to get plenty of sleep so I am well rested and able to be awake when the baby arrives.  I have also been helping her prefect her already amazing cooking skills by letting her cook dinner every night so she's ready to feed a larger family in a few months   Finally, I have been doing my best to stay out of her way by playing video games as often as possible leaving her to peace and quiet. 

So, in case you can't tell, everyone is excited.  Kim is excited for everything.  She's wanted her very own baby since she was 5, I think.  Desmond is excited to have a sibling.  I sympathize.  I always wanted a sibling and I am happy for him that he get to experience this.  And me...it's another chance to train a superstar left handed pitcher that will help me retire happy. 

More to come.  I will probably need to reinstate categories like, "When I'm a dad, I promise not to" and the "Baby picture of the day."  We'll see.  But, for now, start saving you money so you can contribute to our baby registry! 

Baby books

We've been buying a lot of books. "What to Expect When You're Expecting," as we expected, was gifted to us. So, we didn't buy that one.

I bought "The Everything Guide for the Father-to-Be" or something. Whatever the Everything Guide is for expecting fathers. So far...I think it's crap.

Basically...the book is constantly telling me to "be there for your partner," and "make sure you are there to support her," over and over again.

No shit, Sherlock. Here, I am looking for something to help me quit freaking out. I'm looking for guidance and how to come up with $$$ for daycare. And, what am I going to do about my psycho dog?

One line I thought was really stupid was in the section on choosing whether or not to learn the sex of your baby, early. He says that most men want to have a boy. But, some men feel threatened by the possibility of having a boy, so they prefer to have a girl.

What?

Seriously...somebody paid you for this?

Anyway...I've also been on BabyCenter.com a lot. This is a great website. Shows you what baby looks like at each week. Doctor thinks we're 7 weeks, we think we're 6 (cuz we didn't get busy 7 weeks ago). Regardless, baby is growing arms and legs, right now. Baby also has a little tail, which will go away, eventually.

Oh, Hell No!

Hi there...my name is Jason. And, yesterday, the doctor confirmed to my wife and I that we are going to be parents. This will be our first child and we are...ummm...what would be the proper description? Freaked out! And, excited, at the same time.

Obviously, this is all new to us. My wife took the at home test (you know...the one with the fancy commercial with the stream of "water" splashing onto the little strip on something or other?) on Wednesday. Doc confirmed on Friday. We are going to be parents.

Over the last few days, many thoughts have gone through our minds. Some of these thoughts are obvious (which room will be the nursery?), some are things that we've not really thought of (do you know how much daycare costs), and some are...well, just stupid (where does the milk come from, cuz I don't see any holes in your nipples?).

My goal for this site is to, essentially, write about my experiences as the dad to be. It's a place for me to share my thoughts on what the F#&% is going on with us (me, my wife, and Jason Jr.), and a way for me to process, as well. Since we are still in the "danger zone," my plan it to keep this site anonymous, for now. We've told a select few people close to us, but we want to wait until we pass the first trimester before we make this news public. Down the road, I'll probably start throwing out some names and pictures.

This won't be some froofy journal. I plan to keep it real. If I am sick of making midnight cheesecake runs, I'll write about it. But, I will also be writing about how, in just these last few days, I have come to appreciate the beauty and the miracle that life really is.

So...now that that little intro is out of the way...you may be wondering what's up with the title of this post.

I'll just throw it right out there. This pregnancy is not planned. I am 30, my wife is 27. We're both still moving our way up the proverbial corporate ladder. She's been on the pill, and when we're in that tricky period, we strap on the raincoat.

Except for this one time.

All it takes is one.

My wife was explaining to me how she just felt different. She "hit a wall" and was very tired all the time. She's been crampy, and her stomach felt like she just did 100 crunches (which she didn't do). When she missed her period, she decided to buy one of the generic home pregnancy tests from Walgreens. It showed up with a plus sign and my wife verbally exclaimed, to nobody but herself and the cat, "Oh, Hell No!"

She didn't totally believe the test as the plus sigh was a little fuzzy. So, she sent me to buy her a new one, but not the generic one, this time. Sure enough, and a little more clearly, this one said, "Pregnant."

Wow

Ummmmm

Wow

What do we do now?

Well...I guess we have a baby.

So, we're new in the process, we've known for about 3 days. I will tell you how it goes from here. We bought some books today, as neither of us like to be surprised. For some reason, I feel we will be anyway. But, it starts here.