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Showing posts from July, 2017

Jason gets political...I'm voting No on Prop 1

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I thought I would do a political post today.  No, I won't complain about Trump (except this one time...Trump sucks!), I won't make fun of Democrats for sitting in their little bubble and not taking a look in the mirror (except this one time...Democrats...you're dumb!  Your elitism and "my way or you're a racist homophobe" attitude is a major reason why Trump won!), and I won't talk about wasteful spending routinely voted for by the Seattle and King County public.

Oh, wait...that last one I actually am going to talk about.

So...Prop. 1.  It seeks to raise sales tax by %.01.  Supposedly, this is approximately $30/year for the average household.  The goal of Prop 1 is to "provide increased funding for the arts, science and heritage education and access for students and families throughout King County."  Basically, as I understand it from Bill Nye and the multiple adds I see when I visit the symphony or the theatre, it provides funding to enable p…

Reasons I will Quit Google - Butter

Every day, there are fresh baguettes and home made butter in the micro kitchens.  Recently, they decided to replace the honey sriracha butter (which I thought was delicious) with a gross chocolate almond butter.  I had to choose to eat yucky chocolate butter, eat a dry baguette or skip it all entirely.  What a horrible choice to force me to make.

My kid hates taking showers...except that one time

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Lately, getting Desmond to take a shower has been similar to getting Trump supporters to admit their candidate is an idiot.

In other words...hella difficult.

In fact, just this weekend, we were preparing to go to the symphony.  We were getting off a long week of outdoor summer camp AND an overnighter with his buddy Connor.  So, lots of running around and getting sweaty and gross.  So, I made him take a shower before the concert. 

(The performance was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in Concert...the Seattle Symphony played the soundtrack to the movie while it was projected on a screen above the stage.  This is the 3rd such performance I have been to.  Psycho and Looney Toons being the other two.  So much fun!)

He goes in to the bathroom and comes out wet.  He gets dressed and walks to me while I am changing Opie.  Desmond puts his arms on the dresser/changing table and I instantly get a whiff of what smells suspiciously like BO. 

Immediately I stick my nose in my shirt an…

Babies are hard

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You know those new parents that post all these lovely things on Facebook talking about how amazing their perfect little newborn is and how amazing it is to be a parent and how beautiful and amazing life is?

Those people are dirty liars.

Babies are effing hard.  Like, really really hard.

One of my biggest fears in going back into this whole parenting thing was the infant stage.  In the grand scheme of babies, Desmond was pretty easy.  I know this.  But...that never meant that I LOVED being a new parent.  I loved Desmond, for sure!  And, I love Opie.  But, dayam if I didn't often wonder why I gave up my cushy life for one that involves a baby.

Well, here we are again.  Mr. Owen Francis.

Thank the Lord God above for programming our bodies with an unconditional love for our offspring.  Because, if we didn't have that, I would be trying to trade this kid in for one of BeyoncĂ©'s babies, or something.  He is not an easy baby.

This kid NEVER sleeps.  Like, ever.  He takes, maybe…

No more babies for me!!!

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You heard that correctly.  I am done having babies!  Forever.  No more little Pankows running around after this one.

I manned up and went to visit the one and only Dr. Snip!

No, that's not his real name.  But, it is the name of the clinic.  And, what a brilliant name it is.

Why did I decide to do this, you may ask?

Well...simple.  I don't want any more babies.  Thankfully, neither does Kim.  Now, there are multiple ways to make sure you don't have more babies.  There's birth control until the end of time.  Or until my wife's body enacts it's natural form of birth control.  Then there's the tubal something or other where the doc goes in and ties all Kim's plumbing up.  Then there's the snippy snip

Birth control means continues pill popping or other method which just isn't that fun.  Tube typing is another invasive procedure...although, she's already got the scar from her C-section.  Maybe they could just go in that way.  Oh well...too late…

The worst smell I ever smelled

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I still remember the worst smell I ever smelled.

It was from boot camp.  Long long ago. 

All the new sailors arrived in Chicago at different times.  We basically had to wait around the airport until everyone else arrived.  That took pretty much the rest of the day.  Once everyone arrived, we headed to Naval Station Great Lakes.  We did a bunch of administrative stuff, got our uniforms, heard some rules and regulations and went to bed around midnight.

They woke us up at 4 am and we immediately got to work: marching, exercising, marching, running, exercising, marching, marching running...basically, lots and lots of physical activity.  All day long. 

Finally, before dinner, we headed back to the barracks and we were told to shower.  All of us.  We all go into the bathroom and get undressed to clean up.  There were probably 20 of us.  20 dudes who have been working out all day, traveling the day before and haven't showered in at least 48 hours.  Butt naked (emphasis on BUTTS).  In …