Facing an interesting hurdle this week

So, there has been a lot of talk about mental health, lately. Which is GREAT! There is so much stigma around mental illness. And, I won't lie. I do think there are folks that use it as an excuse. I remember a dude that I used to work with always saying that he was "So ADD!"  I was like, Bro...I actually have ADD. It's not just something you throw out there because you didn't get your job done. 

Anyway,  I figured I would take this opportunity to talk about one of my own struggles.  It's timely because of something I am doing this week. 

So, when I worked at Microsoft, every year I would participate in the Gonzaga Trek.  Gonzaga brings a group of business students through town every year and they stop at a few of the big companies for tours and information. Most of the years of my tenure at Microsoft, I would lead the Recruiting component of the Microsoft presentation: here's what we hire for, here's how you apply, here's how your resume should look, etc. 

Well, in 2013, I had just wrapped up a shit year. Worst of my life. My divorce was just finalized and I was entering a period of severe uncertainly.  My mental state was not at it's peak, that is for sure. 

Anyway, Trek comes around. It comes to my part in the presentation. I am standing at the head of a room full of college seniors, all in suits or business attire.  I begin my presentation.  

About 5 minutes in, I have a panic attack.  

It wasn't the last panic attack I would have.  But, it was the first.  And, I had no idea what was happening.  

It started with sweating.  Like, heavy sweating...like I just spent 30 minutes on the Peloton sweating.  Then came a dizziness like I had just spun in 100 circles.  I was not standing at the podium, but I quickly made my way to it.  And, I made it just before I fell over.  I didn't fall over.  I caught myself on the podium.  And, I stopped talking.  Because I couldn't breath. Mike Tyson has just punched me right in the stomach. I was going to die.  Right here in front of a bunch of Business majors.    

My colleagues had left the room (they didn't need to be there at this part). But, the students were all still starting at me.  One in front asked if I was ok.  Yes, I lied. Just got a little dizzy. I don't remember how long this went on.  Felt like 10 minutes.  I am positive it wasn't that long. But, I clung to that podium in silence for an awkward amount of time.  

I didn't finish my presentation.  I told them I needed to get to another meeting.  And I left the room. To my colleague outside, I said I just got called into a fire drill, can they jump in.  Then I migrated to the rest room where I kneeled down at the toilet for a good 30 mins.  I argued with myself that I should call 911.  If I had been home by myself, I probably would have.  But, being at work, having just walked out of a presentation to my alma mater, pride wouldn't let me. 

Finally, after my stint in the bathroom, I went back to my office. I had an office, back then. All to myself! I retreated to my office, closed the door and laid down on the floor. I stayed there for the rest of the day until I caught the final Microsoft bus back home. 

At the time, I had no clue what that was.  I seriously thought I had caught some weird 24 hour bug that only lasted 5 minutes or so.  It wasn't until I discussed it with my doc that he told me I likely suffered a panic attack.  He drew blood, took my blood pressure, told me everything was fine.  Discussed meds that I declined (but would later start taking) referred me to a shrink and we called it a day. 

Anyway, that was a pretty pivotal moment in my life. It's the first time I recognized that my mental health had a direct impact on my physical health.  I've always been just a bit different since that time.  My mental health has always been a bit...I don't want to say weaker...but, I have to be much more mindful of it since those days.  I do take an anti-anxiety drug still.  But, I haven't had a panic attack since 2013.  

So, there you go.  Why is this a hurdle...well, for the first time since this story takes place, I am presenting at Gonzaga Trek!  They are visiting Alaska.  I skipped the Trek at Microsoft in 2014 (my last year at Microsoft) because I was still embarrassed about the year before. Hopefully, any of the GU staff that were there in 2013 have either moved on or forgotten. :-)  

That's it. On Thursday, we try again!  Obviously, I am at a much different place in life, now. It doesn't change that my brain is reminding about that last time. And that leads to anxiety!  The drugs help, though. And so does the knowing that this is mental. And that I will be ok.  

If you're suffering from anxiety, depression or any other mental health struggles, it's ok to ask for help. It's not shameful to keep yourself healthy. You hear folks preach about diet and exercise.  At this point in my life, I was training for the Goofy Challenge...a half marathon on Saturday followed by a full marathon on Sunday. Exercise wasn't my issue. Sometimes your brain needs some love and support.  Don't be afraid or ashamed to give it what it needs. 

And remember Help is ALWAYS available. You can call me! Anytime.  

Or, if pride hits you like it hit me, call someone else. 

The National Suicide Prevention Line is 800-273-8255.  

It will be ok! 

Jason's Stage Review - Aladdin on Actual Broadway!!

Ok...blog post #3 has taken me a little longer than I wanted to get posted, but here goes!

Our first actual Broadway show ON BROADWAY!!!!

First of all, Kim is totally rad.  I'm sure I've said similar things before.  But, I am the theatre geek in the family.  She's the one that fell asleep at the Book of Mormon.  Although, to give her credit, that was 2 years ago and it has only happened once or twice since then.  Still, it was her decision to pull the trigger.

You see, shows on actual Broadway are FREAKIN' EXPENSIVE!!!  Our season tickets to the Paramount in Seattle average about $100 per ticket.  Some shows are more (Hamilton, Wicked, Book of Mormon) some are less (Dirty Dancing, American in Paris).  We decided to see Aladdin in NYC.  Our seats were pretty good, in my opinion, but not the highest price point.  They were $250 a piece.

Aladdin is coming to Seattle.  We have season tickets.  I suspect the Aladdin portion will be $125 or so.  We didn't know Aladdin was coming when we bought our tickets.  If we had, we might have seen something else.

Ok, with all that said, here's my review!

AMAZEBALLS!  A fantastic show.  The sets were rad, the dancing was rad, the genie was genius (see what I did there?), it was a great night!

The Genie is the original. It's the first time I have seen a Tony Award winner in a role they won the award for.  And let me tell you...he deserved it!  I mean, the man was moving all over the stage singing and dancing and barely braking a sweat!  Ok...that last part is a lie.  He was totally sweating.  In fact, part of his makeup was head glitter which I am sure was put there to hide the sweat.  I have to wonder if they pad his costume because I don't know how someone can move like that every single night and not be made of pure muscle.  He's not fat, by any means.  But, he also doesn't look like Derek Hough, which is what you would expect with that much cardio.



I am trying to remember the last time I saw a show with that much choreography.  Practically every song had a dance number.  I do love me some dance numbers!!!

Also, the guy that plays Jafar is the dude that did the original voice in the movie.  That was pretty neat!  Hearing him say "Prince Aboo-Boo" was straight out of the movie.

I only have one complaint...and I have this with The Little Mermaid, too.  For some reasons, the writers feel the need to add unnecessary backstory.  In the case of the Little Mermaid, they made Ursula (The Sea Witch) King Triton's rejected sister.  In Aladdin, they decided to give Aladdin some parent issues.  Apparently his mom recently died and he's trying to make her and his dad proud.  This manifests itself in a song called "Proud of Your Boy" and a couple reprises.  The song is mushy and the backstory is unneeded.  The character worked fine in the movie.  If they needed to add time to the show, I would have preferred they add it to the end as the whole Jafar becomes Sultan becomes Genie gets trapped in the lamp thing moved really quickly.  A little too quickly for me.  If they just felt like he needed backstory, well...whatever.  I disagree.

Anyway, I have been asking myself, was it worth the money.  I say Yes...to see a show on Broadway, it was worth it.  Will I do it again, I am unsure.  It might depend on the show.  Or the cast.  For example, I am going back to NYC for work in a couple weeks.  Bette Midler is starring in Hello Dolly.  I might pay to see her.  But, if it was just Hello Dolly and I knew Hello Dolly would be traveling through Seattle at some point, probably not.

But, this first time...totally worth it!  Thanks Kimmy for taking me for your birthday!

New York City! (get a rope)

Just got back yesterday from my very first trip EVAH to New York City.  Took Kim with me.  Primarily, I brought Kim along because it was her 40th birthday and I thought it would be rude of me to leave her behind while I was enjoying myself in the Big Apple.

You are going to get 3 posts out of this trip.  The first is this one!  A basic run down of our trip.  The 2nd is my review of Aladdin, our first official Broadway show!  Finally, a ranting piece on how annoying it is when people bring their babies into first class.

Ok, part 1: GO!

So...Kim turned 40.  Months ago (I swear, it wasn't 2 days before her birthday) I started thinking about what to do.  40 is kind of a milestone.  I mean, I know people say 50 is really the new 40 and that you don't really hit middle age until 50.  But, I think that's BS.  I know darn well that I ain't gonna live to see much past 80, even if I make it that far.  So, let's stick with 40 being "Over the hill."
I bounced around a couple ideas.  Either, throw a big party in Seattle.  Maybe rent out a dinner cruise or a winery or something.  Or, maybe a fun trip somewhere.  Hawaii, again?  Europe?

Then, I had to remember that there was a good chance Kim would be pregnant.  Surprise!  That turned out to be true.  So, let's not do anything involving drinking (winery out) or anything that would be too difficult to do pregnant (long trip to Europe or even sitting around pregnant in the sun in Hawaii out).

Hey, neither of us have ever been to NYC.  Let's do that!  We can rely on cabs so we don't have to walk any more than she can handle.  And, everything is pretty darn close.  So, NYC it is.

Fast forward 6 months.  Her tri-cities besties decided to join us.  One of them currently lives in NYC so we also had a rad tour guide.  Here are some pics.



We flew into Newark, NJ.  Immediately on decent, I could tell that New York is just a little bit bigger than Seattle.


Since there were 5 of us that needed transportation, I figured I would just rent us a car.  That car became a limo.  After a bit, the driver pulled over so we could hit up the liquer store and the 4 non pregnant people could put back a couple bottles of bubbly on the way to the city.



Our first full day, we began by visiting the 9/11 memorial.  Now, I could not get a good shot of this to save my life.  For such a powerful monument, my little phone simply could not do it justice.  Here is one photo, but this scene was so so much more amazing than this crumby picture portrays.



We were discussing the significance of the memorial.  If you haven't seen it, I'll try to describe.  There are two fountains.  One in each of the footprints of the Twin Towers.  There are two layers.  The top layer, waterfalls splash down into the second layer.  From there, there is a square hole.  Water falls over the edge into the hole.

Someone suggested it symbolized the waste of life.  Someone suggested the emptiness left from the attacks.  I suspect it's both of these.  As well as the silence of death.  You couldn't hear the noises from the city in this place.  I admit...I teared up.  I don't believe I have ever teared up at a memorial.  Granted, this is the first tragedy of my lifetime that I have reflected upon at it's memorial.  But, it was very very powerful.

Then, there is the Freedom Tower!  The new World Trade Center.  Wow, what a building.



After the World Trade Center, we headed over to 30 Rock to see Jimmy Fallon rehearse his monologue for that night.  Pictures are strictly forbidden!  And, given that it was Kim's dream to make out with Jimmy Fallon, I didn't want to jeopardize their meeting, so I didn't take pictures.  The experience was fun.  Was it worth the hour and a half of standing in line to watch a 15 minute rehearsal...mmmmm, I'm not sure.  Maybe for Kim.  If we had been able to get into the show taping, it would have been worth it.  It was pretty cool to see Fallon.  He seems like he really loves his job.  He gave us a quick history of the Tonight Show and of the studio where it's filmed then went into his jokes.  Most were hilarious.  Some were so so...the best part was watching him strike a line through the ones that didn't get the biggest laughs.

That night, we had dinner at Buddakan.  Apparently, it was on Sex in the City.  Michelle (NYC friend) made us reservations.  I admit, going in, I was a little, "I'm probably going to spend a ton of money and leave hungry."  But, boy was I wrong.  I mean, it wasn't cheap, but it could have been worse.  And I was definitely NOT hungry after.  This place was Bomb!  Highly recommend it if you're in the neighborhood.

Ok, moving on.  Saturday morning, we took a 3 hour tour (just sit right back and you'll hear a tale) of  the Hudson River and New York Harbor.  Here are some pics:

NYC Skyline


Unfortunately, Kim couldn't see anything because her hair was in her eyes.



Not sure which lady is prettier, here.


Empire State Building


UN Building



I know, I know...I'm 12.  But, I couldn't resit.  #YuckTheFankees


We also saw Ellis Island, tons of bridges, the Bronx, Harlem, Brooklyn, and more stuff.  All while enjoying a 4 course meal and booze!

Hung out in Central Park for a bit after.  And, I managed to only take 1 stupid picture:


Why did I post this?  I'm not really sure.

But, one of the girls got this one on her phone from the fancy pants overpriced bar at the park:

The final noteworthy event...Aladdin at the New Amsterdam Theatre.  Our very first "Broadway" show actually performed ON BROADWAY!!!

Overall...it was a total blast!  Kim handed it like a champ, despite being 12 months pregnant.  Great food, great sites...LOTS of people.  I had to close my eyes in some of the cab/Uber/Lyft rides because I was convinced we were going to crash or kill someone.  Would totally go again.  

Desmond really wants to go.  Very glad he wasn't there on this trip.  Not because I don't love to travel with him.  But, because I got detached from my adult counterparts at times in the crowd.  I would have a panic attack trying not to lose my kid there.  I told him maybe when he graduates 8th grade.  I still remember doing a tour of Washington DC in 8th grade.  Maybe we'll lump the 2 together.  

Speaking of Desmond...he's already 60% done with the gift we brought him.  The box says 12+.  But, that's not stopping him.  

 And, I shall close with this adorable picture of my lovely wife and me in Times Square.  Ain't she adorable!!!

Vacationing and running and getting sick and stuff

This past weekend, we took a bit of a mini-vacation.  A while back, in an effort to inspire me to start running again to lose weight, I signed up to run the Star Wars Light Side Half Marathon at Disneyland with my friend Joey.  Kim and I decided to make a little trip out of it.  Taking Des out of school for a couple days (the first school he has ever missed) and hitting up Legoland and Disneyland before running and heading back home.

Well, here's what actually went down.

First of all, I should say that the inspiration to run never really hit me.  The training I did for this half marathon was a fraction of what it should have been.  In fact, when I actually did run, I only made it to 7 miles.  To refresh your memory, a half marathon is 13.1.

Fast forward...here comes our long weekend.

Wednesday night, Kim and I pick Des up from school and head right to the airport where we find our flight is delayed.  That sucks.  But, it's not the end of the world.  However, by the time we land in LA, get our rental car and drive to Carlsbad, CA (where Legoland is) it's about 12:30 AM.  Desmond is super excited!  We stayed at the Legoland hotel (highly recommended!) and he was instantly bouncing off the walls.  The room contains a treasure box.  To find the code, you have to complete a bit of a scavenger hunt.  With some help from Kim while I parked the car, Des had all the numbers he needed.  He opens the box to find 2 Mixels and a Lego Magazine.  OMG!  He's never going to leave.

Finally, we convince him to go to bed.  It's about 1 AM or so.

6:00...he's awake and ready to get started!

Desmond doesn't really like it when I make him take pictures, but he was a trooper for this one.  And, in case you were wondering...yes...it did feel just like you would suspect lying on a pile of legos would feel.

We get breakfast and we hit the park.  Here's some pics.

Des and Kim at the Hotel, ready to hit the park!!!

Des and Kim picking Lego Einstein's nose. 

Lego Deathstar, just slightly bigger than the one Desmond built at home. 

These ladies asked to have their photo taken with me. 

This red guy has a name, but I don't know what it is.  Red Ninja Dude, or something. 

And...that's about all the pics I have from Legoland.  Why don't I have anymore, you may ask.  Well, around noon it started to rain.  And not just a little drizzle.  I can handle a little rain.  But, a "we're closing all the rides" kinda downpour.  Also about this time, Desmond asked to take a break from the park.  Which seemed weird to me.  He doesn't love rides, so I wondered if this was to get out of me pressuring him to go on a roller coaster.  But, he wasn't just asking not to ride the roller coaster.  He was asking to leave the park. 

Well, turns out the reason was because he was getting sick.  We went back to the hotel and Desmond fell asleep.  Again, we didn't yet think he was feeling bad.  We figured it was the late night/early morning.  We woke him up to go to dinner.  He didn't eat much dinner.  We went back to the room, stuck him in the bathtub and he was asleep by 7:30.  Out cold.  Woke up in the middle of the night crying.

Yup...totally sick.  Fever and everything.  The Legoland nurse came to visit him in the room.  Declared it the flu.  

(Side note...the Legoland nurse is an actual person...she did not look like this)

Our Friday pretty much involved resting in the Legoland hotel room for as long as we could and then driving to Anaheim.  Des seemed to recover a bit on the drive.  But...guess what...Kim got sick.

We were set to meet Joey and Andy for dinner.  However, Kim was down.  Des was back up, but that didn't last long.  At dinner, he looked like he was ready to keel over.  We got back to the room and he was out cold super fast.

The next morning, Kim was worse.  Desmond seemed to be better.  But, that was just an illusion.  Disneyland quickly got nixed.  Kim was bedridden for the day.  Desmond and I hit the pool for a bit, but not too long because I was concerned about his cold.  After the pool, Kim slept some more, Desmond pulled up his iPad and I snuck out to watch the Seahawks.  Daddy needed a break.

Oh...and the Seahawks lost.  That sucked.

Ok, evening rolls around...Des seems totally fine again!  So, we go the the Skinner's (Joey and Andy) for dinner.  No prob!  Des plays with the girls, I chat with my friends.  A fine evening.  We leave so we can go to bed.  I have a half marathon the next morning.

1:00 am...Desmond wakes me up.  He's whining in his sleep.  After a while, I get up and rouse him.  He starts to cry.  His nose is 100% plugged up.  And, he's been blowing it so much that it's raw.  We throw some vasaline on it, give him some Tylenol and put him back to bed.  He's asleep instantly and the next morning says he doesn't remember any of it.

4:30, my alarm goes off.  I start getting dressed to go run my run.  I look at my phone and notice I have about 5 text messages from Joey.  Turns out, Disney wants all the runners there by 4 am.  Oops.  Oh well, I still made it on time.

Here are some pics from the run.  These are from my phone.  They had professionals taking photos, as well.  Haven't seen those yet.

Joey and I at the staring line.  It's amazing how smiley we are at 5 am after such little sleep. 

Lots of people there for this race. 

 I confess...we cheated.  We used speeders. 

This is not the double chin you are looking for. 

 The line for BB-8 was long, but I made Joey stop.  

Capt. Phasma had her eye on us. 

R2D2

Part of the course passed our Hotel.  Kim and Des came out to meet us!

Joey probably could have ditched me 100 times.  But, she stayed with me and we finished together.  Thanks, Joey!  My knee wasn't very happy with me.  Of course, if I didn't have 40 extra lbs pounding on it...and if I had done the training I was supposed to, it might not have been so mad.  My bad.  

In the end, I finished and I didn't die!  That was my only goal.  I have no clue what my time was.  But, for runs like this, time is hard to determine because you stop for photos so often.  I walked more than I wanted to but I made it to the finish line.  

I don't know if I will do another Disneyland race.  Take all the sickness out of it.  I was surprised at just how much was spent outside of the park.  When I did the Goofy challenge 4 years ago at Disney World, the entire marathon (26.2 miles) was inside the Disney facilities.  That was awesome!  There were more character photo ops, there was more music.  It was just a more fun experience.  This one was great for the first 30-45 mins.  After that, it was just meh.  

We're home now.  Kim and Desmond both took Tuesday off of school and work because they're still sick.  I am surprised I haven't been knocked out, yet.  Knocking on wood.  

Knocking up your wife, the 21st Century Way

A quick disclaimer...this post is LOADED with TMI.  If you don't want to hear about it, best to skip this one.

________________________________________


You may have noticed already, but I am not as young as I used to be.  And, while she is much better looking than I am, Kim is EVEN OLDER! 

So, this whole getting knocked up thing was harder than one might expect.

First of all...baby was always part of the deal when we decided to get married.  While I have been pretty indifferent about more kids (I wasn't planning it, but I also wasn't opposed and I knew if I wanted to remarry it had to be an option), it was always a big thing on Kim's list.  And, while she is an amazing step-mom, we both knew when we got hitched that we needed to plan for a family addition.

What we didn't know was how hard it would be.

We started trying right away after we got married.  Nothing was happening.  But, we figured we would give it some time.

Finally, after a year, we decided to see the doc.  What's going on here? 

Our assumption was that there was something malfunctioning on Kim's side.  Maybe she was too old.  As I mentioned in a previous post, she is considered "geriatric" age in regards to making babies.  Kim went to the doc and got some hormone pill that was supposed to help her conceive.  I don't remember the science behind it.  I just remember that it also tripled the chances of conceiving multiples.  (I would just like to take a moment to thank my Heavenly Father that there is only one heartbeat in there). 

So, Kim's on the drugs and we're still trying (bow-chicka-bow-wow).  Still nothing.

One day, her doctor says to her, "How would your husband feel about getting tested?"

Well, of course that is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard of!  Why do I need to be tested?  I have a healthy kid running around.  My plumbing is fine.  But, I love my wife and we should check all the boxes.  So, of course I will get tested. 

Hey, look...something is wrong with my plumbing.

Wait...what????

Yup...turns out that, even with my little man being totally healthy, brilliant and, you know, existing, my pipes weren't working properly.  I won't give you the details because gross.  But, there you go.

This pretty much means that we can't get pregnant without help.  And by help, I mean medical intervention...not Jason Bateman visiting my house one night while I am out of town. 

If you have ever been curious about one of those "donation" sites looks like, I made you a quick video.  FYI, while this is rated PG, it's still TMI.  So, be prepared. 


tmi post from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.


Sorry for the top to bottom video. Broke my own rule about recording video.  I must have been distracted by the boobs.

An hour later, after they sorted out the lame-ohs, they handed me Styrofoam cup.  Inside was a test tube full of my Micheal Phelps's.  Yes, in a Styrofoam cup.  The idea was that, as we walked our sample from the deposit clinic to the Dr's office (both located in Seattle's First Hill), it wouldn't look too weird.  It would simply look like I was carrying a cup of coffee.  Kim even managed to keep a straight face as I raised my cup in "Good morning" to the passers by or in thanks to the vehicles that yielded to us. 

Anyway...later that day, in the romantic setting of Dr. Oman's exam room, our child was conceived via Intrauterine Insemination.  If you want, you can imagine the romantic music and the mood lighting.  It certainly wasn't a brightly lit room with 4 people and diagrams of lady naughty bits on the walls.

And, that's about it.  2.5 weeks later or so, Kim woke me up before she left for work at some ungodly hour and told me she's pregnant.  I immediately exclaimed "Just 5 more minutes."

We haven't told Jason Bateman, yet.  He'll be sad.

Goodbye Microsoft! Hello Climate Corporation!

Yup...you read that correctly.  I have left Microsoft.  My 2nd home for over 10 years.  Wow...it feels weird reading that back right now.  But, it's real.  Today was my last day.  I have turned in the ol' Blue Badge and rode off into the sunset.  Well...actually, I left around 3 so the sun was still pretty high up there.  But, whatever.

I have left Microsoft to join another company.  The Climate Corporation. 

Climate is a San Francisco based company with an office in Seattle.  In a nutshell, they make technology for farmers.  Imagine getting to work on products that impact our every day life in fundamental ways.  I spent 9 years working on a super fancy product...Xbox.  It was amazing, it was sexy...but, at the end of the day, it was a toy.  Something only some people could afford and not everyone was interested in.   Outside of Xbox, Microsoft focuses mainly on productivity.  Our tools impact people all over the world...but, in ways that, ultimately, we could live without.  

In my new role, I will be impacting everyday life.  I will be impacting something that affects billions of people in ways that we can't live without.  If the world crashes, we can live without our computers.  We can't live without our food. 

The job is super cool.  I'll be working on college recruiting and staffing programs.  It's a lot, but it's a small company. :-)  My focuses, as I understand them now, will be on university relationship building, college hiring, and programs such as diversity.  I get to work on things I am passionate about and I get to take myself out of a comfort zone I have sat in for a long time.

Microsoft has been amazing to me.  I have zero hard feelings.  I grew more in my first year at Microsoft than I did in my 5 prior years recruiting.  My life is so different now.

Ten years ago...

• Desmond wasn't around,
• I was married, but not to my current wife,
• I had 2 cats and an adorable puppy with perfect eye sight and a weird itchy problem we couldn't figure out,
• I lived in Tacoma,
• My list of close friends was almost 100% different (save for the longtime besties like Eric, Liz and MichaelPaine),
• I was in the Navy Reserve,
• John Paul II was the Pope,
• George W. Bush was just elected to his 2nd term,
• Pluto was still a planet.

Whether or not to leave Microsoft was a super hard decision.  But, it's the right one.  It's time to grow and it's time to evolve.  Microsoft is on a great path and I plan to continue to be a Windows/Xbox/Bing user for a long time (Windows Phone, on the other hand...well, I may have already switched there). 

I'm excited!  I'm ready to go!  Let's do this!!!

Water Slide fun at Honua Kai

Ok...so maybe I will post a few times. :-)  Got a fun video last night.  Couldn't resist. 


Honua Kai waterslide from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.

Off to Hawaii...and Matrimony!

This morning, I depart for the beautiful island of Maui.  I am traveling with my fiancé and my son.  While I am there, however, I plan to ditch the fiancé and come home with a wife!   

If you want to follow the shenanigans on Instagram, you can.  Simply follow the hashtag #PankowEverAfter.

If you want to buy us a gift.  Don't!  Just give us money. :-)  That way, you don't have to wonder what we want.  You can do that here:  https://www.zola.com/registry/kimandjason

If you want to steal one of us away from the other, you are welcome to assuming your name is Jennifer Lawrence (for Jason) or Jason Bateman (for Kim). 

Otherwise...I may post periodically while I am there.  But, most likely I will just put up one big post when we get back. 

Tootles!

Phantom of the Opera OR My First Time

At the theater, perv!

This Friday, I am taking Kim to see Phantom of the Opera.

Now, Kim is not a big theatre goer.  If I weren't around, I suspect she wouldn't go at all.  The only thing that could get her to the theatre is a steamin' hunk of a man trying to thrust some culture upon her...and, that's pretty much exactly how it first happened!

I am slightly nervous about this particular show.  Kim has really enjoyed, ummm, maybe like 1 or 2 shows I've taken her to?  Let's see..."A Christmas Story."  I think she liked that one.  What else???  Uhhhhh. 

I won't bring up the time she fell asleep during the "Book of Mormon."  I mean, I pick on her for that all the time, so I won't write about it here.

Moving on.  This post is not about taking Kim to the Phantom of the Opera.  It's about the first time I got to see Phantom of the Opera!!!!  *prepare dream sequence*



The year was 199...uhhhh...something.  1994?  I was getting my first tastes as a theatre nerd in high school.  I had just scored the starring role in the Music Man...a production being put on by a local kids theatre troupe.  No no...not Harold Hill.  The other starring role!  You know!  Tommy Djilas!  The super sexy kid who was picking up all the ladies with his knowledge of repetative motion and saying "Jeely Kly" (whatever the hell that means) all the time!  I mean check this out...how freakin' adorable is this:

Shout out to Jaimie!

 

I should point out that, at this time, I was also the drum major for the high school marching band.  You'll learn the the relevance of this soon. 

 

That fall, I was invited by my buddy Cirese (actually...I think it was her mom.  Gail always liked me more than Cirese did, anyway), to go see Phantom of the Opera at Gammage Auditorium at ASU in Phoenix. 

 

Well, jeely kly...I had never been to a real life honest to goodness stage show before!  Count me in!

 

So...we roadtrip!  Took the 4 hour drive with Gail at the wheel (because for some reason, Cirese refused to get a drivers license until she was 37), me chilling in the back with my Sega GameGear and Cirese's friend Jennifer (Jennifer?) wondering why she had to sit in the back with the Junior (they were both Seniors, you see). 

 

Finally, we arrive at Gammage.  We quickly discover that our seats are in the very last row at the super tippy top of the auditorium.  Like, row ZZ or something.  Gail wasn't sitting with us for some reason.  So, I was stuck with the 2 girls who wanted nothing to do with me because they were too busy talking about how hot that Jack Weldon guy was or something.

 

Me, however...I am totally stoked to be attending my first professional show!  I'm practically skipping up the steps!  All the way up to the super tippy top. 

 

We sit down.  Cirese and Jennifer are still gossiping with each other and completely ignoring me.  It's about then that I notice something.  They are both holding programs.  I am not.

 

"Hey, Cirese,"  I say.

 

"WHAT?" she snaps!  Clearly, I just interrupted something juicy. 

 

"I didn't get a program." I inform her.

 

She looks at me like I am the biggest idiot in the world. "So go get one." she says rolling her eyes. 

 

Oh...yeah that seems rather easy now that she mentions it. 

 

So, I giddily skip on down the stairs, all 500 or so of them, anxiously waiting to read all about the guy playing the Phantom this evening.

 

I'm so happy that I decide I am just going to skip the last couple steps at the end.  I'm just going to do a nice little hop over the last steps.  *Hop*

 

*CRUNCH*

 

See, the thing about hopping is that you need to land on your feet.  It's a bad idea to land on your ankle.  Which is what I did.  Somehow, I landed wrong, my foot rolled and my entire 120 pound body (Gawd I miss those days) landed onto my ankle causing a very gross crunching noise.

 

Now...a few feet away, handing out programs was a young lady.  She was rather attractive.  I assume she was an ASU coed volunteering her time at the theatre.  She had obviously just seen me fall.  She rushes over to me!  "Oh my god, are you ok?"

 

About now, I wish that I had fallen in a pool or something so I could pretend I wasn't breathing.  But, alas...I had tripped on the stairs and looked like a complete dufus in the process.  So, I quickly jump back up, brush myself off and say, "Of course!  May I please have a program?" 

 

She hands me a program, I grab the banister and painfully hobble myself back up the stairs. 

 

When I get to the top, I say to Cirese, "Cirese...I think I just broke my ankle."

 

"That's nice," she responds.

 

And then the show starts.

 

Fast forward.  Nobody is sitting in front of me, so I plop my foot up on the seat in row YY and enjoy act 1 immensely!  This show is amazing!  After a while, the chandelier falls and it's time for intermission.

 

I get up, stretch and take my first step toward the doors. 

 

*Plop*  I fall down.  My ankle will not hold any weight.

 

This is when the girls finally notice me.  They help me to my feet and down the stairs.  Apparently, the hot usher coed had been watching me.  Because, by the time we got down all 500 or so steps, the theatre manager was waiting for me.

 

He takes me out to the lobby and makes me sit while he fetches the first aid kit.  In the mean time...I take off my shoe and sock. 

 

Holy Mary Mother of God!  Not only is my ankle black and blue from my toes to half way up my calf, it has ballooned to the size of a softball!

 

The manager returns.  From the first aid kit he pulls out the ice pack.  It's one of those that you have to pop and mix up all the science on the inside before putting on the booboo.  This guy can't figure it out.  Me...I've been working in the Parks and Rec after school program for the past 2 years.  I am well versed in this technology.  So, I snag the ice pack from him, pop it, put it on my ankle and say, "See...I'm fine.  Can I go back in, now?  The intermission is almost over."

 

"No." say the manager.

 

"Wait...what?"

 

"I can't let you go back in until we know for sure you are ok.  I've called the paramedics."

 

I sprained my ankle and the dude called the paramedics.  See what happens when we all get sue happy?

 

Inside, I hear the music begin.  Shortly after, the very familiar chorus of "Masquerade."

 

Ok...now I am getting pissed. 

 

"Let me go back in," I say. 

 

"We can't until the paramedics clear you."  He responds.

 

"I paid money for these tickets.  I want to see the show!"

 

"We'll give you new tickets to another date."

 

"I live 4 HOURS AWAY!"  I can't just come to a different show."

 

"Can't let you in."

 

UGH!!!

 

Finally the paramedics show up.  They look at my ankle, declare it a very bad sprain and ask me if I want to go to the ER.

 

"Heck NO!  I want to see the show!!!"

 

FINALLY...they let me back in.  The get me a folding chair and let me sit in the aisle by the doors.  I caught the very end of the play. 

 

Before we left the theatre, the manager gave us a huge bag of ice.  I sat in the backset of Gail's car for the 4 hour drive home with my ankle sitting on the bag, which was quickly become a bag of water...Arizona, don't forget. 

 

We arrive back in Lake Havasu where, before dropping me off at home, Cirese and Jennifer made fun of me a couple more times.  I got out of the car, hopped in my mom's car and took a trip to the emergency room.  It was about 2 AM.

 

A splint, some pain meds and a bruised ego later, I prepared to start my week back at school where my first class was...Marching Band.

Needless to say, Mr. Beal wasn't very happy with me.

 

That's all...end of story.  With a lot of tape and some Vicodin you can march on anything.  I was even able to pull off my award worthy performance in the Music Man.  Although, apparently someone did later ask the director why that one kid had a brace on his ankle. Oh well...glad they noticed that and not the fact that my fly was down...which it was. 

 

I have since seen Phantom all the way through. This show will be my 3rd viewing, I believe.  I'm super excited.  I hope Kim likes it!   

 





In exactly 2 months from today...

We will be back in Maui!!!

And, I am SUPER stoked!  Of course, I am stoked about getting married and junk.  But, I am also stoked for everything else!  Like the shark dive I plan to do again.

Came across this video recently.  It's a fairly fair example of what it's like in the tank.  I was still getting used to my GoPro, so it could have been better.  But, you see sharks, you see rays, and you see really big fish!  What more could you ask for???



Maui Ocean Center Shark Dive from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.

Mawage

So...I'm getting married.  I've mentioned it a few times on here, but I haven't formally introduced the three of you to Kim.  Kim is gonna marry me.  And, just so you know, I have given her plenty of time to sober up and change her mind.  She still says she's going to marry me.

I met Kim on eHarmony.  As you can see in an earlier post, I was not a big fan of dating.  And, by not a big fan, I mean I hated it.  I had a couple potentials, if you will, but nothing that ended up being much.  I even got dumped twice by the same person.  That's how awesome I am.

So...I meet Kim on eHarmony and we're chatting and having a good time.  Then, I get all busy and stuff, and my cat dies, and I hate women and I travel, and I just kinda figure she's just another one that won't amount to much.  But, what the heck.  I'll give this one last girl a shot before turning off the dating profile for a bit and just spending some time enjoying life as a single dad.

We go on a date.  But, this date wasn't quite like the other dates.  It was instantly comfortable.  Like, instantly.  I showed up late because I got caught up at work.  So, I went in nervous (I hate being late).  She was already chillin' with a drink.  She got up, gave me an amazing perfect smile, with her cute little dimples, and gave me a big hug.  And, we started chatting.

Now, on other dates, it was awkward discussion until our time was up and we would give awkward hugs before going home (I have a dog, you see.  He needs to pee).  However, this time, the time to leave was coming up.  But, I didn't want to go!  I did something I hadn't done before on a date.  I called the neighbor and asked her to let Quincy out for me!

Fast forward.  We date, it's fun.  We find excuses to see each other.  Like, oh, hey...you're leaving town.  How about if I hike my ass over to your side of the lake in the middle of traffic so we can have coffee before your flight.  Or...hey...why don't you come over to my office and we can grab lunch in the middle of the day.

About 2 months (or so) in, I decide to introduce her to Desmond.  See, possibly one of my biggest criteria in finding a partner is how this person interacts with Desmond.  I may get along great with them, but if they don't like my kid (or if my kid doesn't like them), I don't plan to waste a ton of time with this person.  Kim was originally introduced as "Daddy's friend Kim."  To say Desi took well to her is an understatement.

Grandma was in town at the same time.  So, we were going to introduce both the kid AND the mother.  Talk about pressure for Kim.

We went to The Old Spaghetti Factory.  Classy, I know.  Mom, Des and I arrived first.  Mom and Des sat at one side of the table.  I sat on the other with the empty chair saved for Kim.

Kim arrives.  Desi leans over to Grandma and whispers something.  Grandma says "Oh," and looks at me.

"Desmond says he wants me to trade places with Kim," says Grandma.

Kid made one of his favorite people in the world move for the new girl.

Anyway, fast forward past multiple more dates, concerts, shows, hand holding, schmoopy eyes, etc and I decide to invite Kim on our Hawaii trip.  I mean, Des loves her, my parents love her.  And, what do you know, I love her to.  So, let's take this trip.

Well, many of you may have noticed that this whole thing moved pretty fast.  I started getting inklings of, Dang...I think I could marry this girl. Those inklings got stronger and stronger.  Until finally, I decided, Yeah...I'm gonna do this.  This girl is awesome.  Why wouldn't I want to marry her?  Everything fits!  Everything is right!  And, we're not getting any younger.  As a very wise philosopher once said, "If you like it then you gotta put a ring on it."  So, I bought a ring.

What better place to pop the question than in paradise.  So, we went out for some cocktails, took a walk at the marina and I popped the question.

Funny story, I had this routine that I had planned.  I'm not going to tell you what it was because it was totally hokey and schmoopy (I've always wanted to use the word schmoopy twice in a post).  But, it didn't involve putting the ring on her finger, simply in her hand.  So, she gets really excited, says yes (I triple checked) starts crying and throws her arms around me.  Unbeknownst to me, she slips the ring on her finger somewhere in this process.  I pulled out of the hug and reached for the hand that I put the ring in.  The ring wasn't there!  OH MY GOD!!!  THE DIAMOND RING HAS FALLEN INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN!!!!

No no, it's ok.  It's on her finger.  WHEW!

Anyway, we're officially getting hitched in June.  We're going back to Maui!  Why?  Well, we discovered that it's actually not THAT much more expensive to get married in Hawaii as opposed to somewhere in Washington.  Weddings are expensive, no matter what.  We could cross our fingers that it doesn't rain on us and find a place that is nice enough but not bank breaking.  Or...instead of breaking the bank in Washington, let's break it in Maui!!!!

Some pics below.  If you want to follow along on the wedding details, check out our website: http://www.pankomine.com.  Please note: being aware of this website does NOT mean you're invited!!!  Kim won't let me post it on Facebook because she doesn't want everyone to assume they're invited.  So, there!  I just told you you're not invited!  Unless you are invited.  In which case, you probably already know.

She's a real winner.  We've got ourselves a good thing going on.  Hurray for 2nd chances!

Run Disney and Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge!

Just got back from a vacation to Disney World with my folks and Desi.  Why Disney World, you ask?  Why drop the clams to fly to Florida when Disneyland is much closer.

One word...Goofy's-Race-And-A-Half-Challenge.

See, I have decided to reboot myself in 2013.  It's hard to explain, but I needed to set some kind of goal for myself to kick off the new year and my new life.  I decided that a worthy goal would be to run a marathon.  Last year, I ran my first half marathon in Seattle.  This year, let's up the ante.  But...where should I do this?  A destination marathon would be more inspiring to keep me training and motivated to continue.  But, where to?

That's around the time I heard of RunDisney.  Apparently, Disneyland and Disney World occasionally hold running events at the parks.  This year happened to be the 20th anniversary of the Walt Disney World Marathon.  Sounds awesome!  Sign me up.

Oh...but then I learn about this thing called Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge.  To complete the Goofy, you have to complete the half marathon on Saturday AND the full marathon on Sunday.  Keep in mind, I learned this while sitting at a bar with a buddy getting drunk.  Sounded like a horrible and remarkably stupid thing for someone like me to do.

So...I went ahead and signed up.  Cuz I am stupid.

The race was last weekend.  Let me tell you about it.

It was AWESOME!!!  Now, if you remember my postings from last year, while I was training for the Seattle half, I hate running.  This hasn't changed even though I am running much more frequently then I was then.  I still hate it.  It doesn't feel good.  I can never seem to find that magical zone people talk about.  I just generally don't like it.  However, it happens to be the easiest way to exercise and keep yourself in shape when you are busy working and getting divorced and being a single dad and junk. 

But this race was incredible. 

We arrived on Wednesday.  My parents joined us, which was great as Desi had someone to hang out with while I ran.  On Thursday, we hit the park.  A full day at the Magic Kingdom.  I love this place.  Characters, music, parades, etc.  Yes...I know I am a nerd, but few places make me as happy as Disney.  Marketing genius on their parts.

On Thursday night, because it's my elderly parents favorite restaurant in the world or something, we went to Golden Corral.  Big mistake.  In the wee hours of Friday morning, I was yacking in the toilet.  We didn't do much that day.

Saturday was the first race!  A half marathon through Epcot Center and the Magic Kingdom.  I took it slow because A) I had another 26.2 miles to run the next day and B) there are a shit ton of characters to meet!  I am a sucker for Disney characters.  I am a 35 year old man but I still love to give Mickey, Donald and Goofy a big ol' hug!  The race went well.  I felt good!

Until the next morning when my alarm went off at 4:00 AM.  At that point, I was questioning my judgment.  But, I got up and headed back to Epcot.  The full marathon was harder...obviously.  I was keeping really good pace with a pacer.  I didn't take as many pics for the full because I had to be conscious of my time (they pick you up if you don't keep a certain pace) and the pacer waits for nobody!  I ended up hurting my knee around mile 16 which slowed me down further.  I haven't seen my final time, yet...but I think is was somewhere between 6 and 6:15.  Slow...but, I'll still take it. :-)

As a vacation, it was great!  Desi had a blast!  I had a blast.  My folks (I think even my dad) had a blast!  Would I do it again? Absolutely!  Although, it won't be soon because, everything considered, it wasn't a cheap trip. 

Pics below.  In no particular order because I am too lazy to move them around.  2013 is starting off well, so far!!!

Finish line.

All 3 medals!

High 5 from Goofy.

Running out of the castle during the 1/2

Mom! Phineus and Ferb are hanging out with runners, again!

Arr.

After finishing the half.

Left nut and right nut.

Launchpad McQuack! I love this guy!

Desi and Tigger

Pigglet

Can't get enough of Phineus and Ferb, apparently.  Where's Perry?

He's got good taste.

With my best little fan.

My folks and my kid.

After flirting with Cinderella.

Cool light show on the castle.

Next to Belle, Ariel is my favorite.