Wanna see our early eHarmony coms?

I just finished sending eHarmony our "story."  When I was done, they sent a little info graphic of our communications with one another.  Thought people might be interested.  It's kind of adorable.

A few notes:

1. Kim found me. 
2. She decided to skip over the regular eHarmony process and jump right into email.
3. There was a gap of about 3 weeks in communication.  This was right after Satchmo died (but, I didn't tell Kim that).  I wasn't really thinking about dating.
4. Once we exchanged emails, eHarmony was done for us.  You don't get to see the non eHarmony coms.  Too steamy! 

Here you go!

Kim:
Hey Jason, I'm kicking it on my couch with a cup of coffee scrolling through my "what ifs"....great Saturday a.m. entertainment! I came across your profile and was struck by the first line of what you are looking for. Simply put "someone awesome". I have a wall hanging next to my bed that reads "Wake Up And Be Awesome". If more people would abide by that simple rule, the world would be a better place. I'll stop rambling now. Just wanted to say hello. What plans do you have for your weekend, besides being generally awesome? Kim

Jason:
Hi Kim, I need a wall hanging like that! I would have to agree with that statement. I chuckle a little at online dating because you are supposed to define your perfect partner. That's a lot of pressure! Our individualities are what make us great...or rather, awesome! Why cross anything off the list without seeing the whole picture? My weekend was loaded, but fun! I coach 4-5 year olds in soccer and we had our first game. The kids picked our team name before the game. We are the Unicorns! I should mention that my team is made up of 80% girls. The boys groaned a little at the name, but majority rules! Today I joined a buddy at the Seahawks game. Those are always fun. And, you. What kind of awesomeness did you partake in? Happy Monday (likely by the time you read this), Jason

Kim:
STOP IT! My soccer team when I was 5 was the Unicorns and we were anything but magical. My dad was our coach and I was just in it for the orange slices, capri suns & stickers. I don't think we ever won a single game but I was none the wiser. I had a pretty low key weekend. Dinner with some girlfriends on Friday night. Did laundry, ran errands and paid bills on Saturday. Then spent yesterday watching the Hawks crush the Jags, followed by the Emmy's. I've been SO awesome the last several weekends in a row that it was a much needed a break. I've been traveling a ton - Portland, Eastern Washington, Delaware, the beach at Westport and getting ready to leave on Thursday to visit some friends in Minneapolis. I don't usually travel this much but 4th Quarter is going to be crazy for me at work so I'm trying to pack in as much fun right now as possible. I actually laughed out loud when I read your profile about your dog that is allergic to humans. Amazing! What kind of dog? Hope you have an awesome Monday, looking forward to getting to know you! Kim P.S. I'll eat your olives....

Jason:
Hi Kim, I have to apologize...work and life have kept me a wee bit busy and eHarmony has taken a bit of a backseat. :-) It sounds like your Unicorns and my Unicorns have a lot in common. We've had 3 games so far and we've scored 1 goal. I think everyone's still having fun, so it's all good. But, I can tell they're getting a bit frustrated. The snacks are indeed the favorite part, though. My dog is indeed allergic to humans. I had never heard of such a thing before. Since we diagnosed Quincy here, I have met 2 other dogs with the same allergy. WTF? I'm thinking about opening a doggie commune somewhere where they can all run free without being all itchy. I'm off to Las Vegas next week! Attending the LinkedIn Conference. It's really just a reason for a bunch of recruiters to get together and party. Still...I'll make sure to learn one or two things to keep my boss happy. Happy Saturday! How's your weekend looking this week? Anything exciting? Jason

Kim:
Hi Jason! No need to apologize. Life should take priority over online dating...just means you're being awesome. I wish I were jet-setting to Vegas right now! Instead I'm in my office gearing up for what will probably be the most challenging 3-months of my career. I work in the Health Insurance Industry and needless to say, everyone hates us right now :) Do you work for LinkedIn? Maybe when my Insurance career falls apart you can hook a sister up with new JOB. Kidding. In all seriousness I love my job and have total faith that we will come out of this on top. I've been with this company for 8 years and they've been good to me. I may just have to amp up my Happy Hours to get through it. If you'd like, you can email me at xxxxx@gmail.com - and now you know my last name so let the internet stalking begin. Have fun in Vegas and put $5 on black for me. I won $500 at pull tabs this weekend so I'm on a bit of a hot streak. Kim

Jason
Your last name is gmail? That's totally rad! I will definitely shoot you a mail. Connection is spotty where I am, so it will likely be later. I am xxxxx@yahoo.com. Whatever...I set it up in college. This, too, gives you insight into my last name. I assure you, I am NOT the Jason Pankow from Atlanta with the creepy mugshot. We are not related...that I know of. I do not work for LinkedIn...better. I work for Microsoft in the newly formed Devices and Studios Group. This is essentially the business that builds all of Microsoft's hardware (Xbox, Surface, etc) and the game studios. I too love my job. And, I am in Staffing, so I am the right person to talk to about a job. :-) My business rarely comes up in political circles, however. I don't envy what you guys are dealing with, right now. I put $5 on black at your request. It landed on Zero. Go figure. First coffee is on you. ;-) Happy Wednesday! Jason Pankow (but not the creeper from Atlanta)

Happy Fat

Here the thing that sucks about falling in love.

You get way too comfortable with the person. 

See...when Kim and I started dating, I was in fairly good shape.  I was training to run a half marathon.  I was eating healthy(ish).  And, I was sitting at a weight I was very comfortable with. 

This probably lasted until I popped the question.  Maybe not even that long.

You see, once it became clear that I was head over heels for this girl and that she felt at least partially the same, I was like, Cool!!!  Time to eat again!!!

But, it gets worse!  You see...Kim also likes to eat.  So, before, when I am like, "Hey...I want chicken wings!" I would have an inner voice that would say, "NOOOOOO!!!!! Don't eat chicken wings!  Stay healthy!!!!  Chicks don't dig fat dudes!!!"

But now...I have this fiancé who likes to eat the same shit I do.

"Hey, honey...I want chicken wings!"

"That sounds delicious, sweetheart!  Let's go get some!"

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

20 pounds of chicken wings later, we snuggle up on the couch to watch the Walking Dead before going to sleep. 

Sounds amazing, right??  That's because IT IS AMAZING!!!

And, I am totally happy! 

But, I am also much chubbier than I want to be.  I noticed this during the Michigan trip.  I was trying to get pics of the 4 generations of Pankow men and all I saw were 3 adorable Pankows and one Fat Pankow.  Ugh.  Then, I imagine what Fat Pankow will look like in Maui wedding photos. 

So...I just dropped the change to go back on the Isagenix diet.  It was during my blogging break that I last did this diet.  It's basically 30 days of eating tolerable shakes for breakfast and lunch followed by a sensible dinner.  Kinda like Slim Fast, but more expensive.  Then, about 2 days a week, you fast.  Which is another way of saying you starve yourself.  But, I was kinda sorta able to do it about 2 years ago.  I think I can do it again now that I am sick of seeing Fat Pankow in pictures.

Hot Pankow needs to make an appearance for hot, sexy Maui wedding photos!!!

Mawage

So...I'm getting married.  I've mentioned it a few times on here, but I haven't formally introduced the three of you to Kim.  Kim is gonna marry me.  And, just so you know, I have given her plenty of time to sober up and change her mind.  She still says she's going to marry me.

I met Kim on eHarmony.  As you can see in an earlier post, I was not a big fan of dating.  And, by not a big fan, I mean I hated it.  I had a couple potentials, if you will, but nothing that ended up being much.  I even got dumped twice by the same person.  That's how awesome I am.

So...I meet Kim on eHarmony and we're chatting and having a good time.  Then, I get all busy and stuff, and my cat dies, and I hate women and I travel, and I just kinda figure she's just another one that won't amount to much.  But, what the heck.  I'll give this one last girl a shot before turning off the dating profile for a bit and just spending some time enjoying life as a single dad.

We go on a date.  But, this date wasn't quite like the other dates.  It was instantly comfortable.  Like, instantly.  I showed up late because I got caught up at work.  So, I went in nervous (I hate being late).  She was already chillin' with a drink.  She got up, gave me an amazing perfect smile, with her cute little dimples, and gave me a big hug.  And, we started chatting.

Now, on other dates, it was awkward discussion until our time was up and we would give awkward hugs before going home (I have a dog, you see.  He needs to pee).  However, this time, the time to leave was coming up.  But, I didn't want to go!  I did something I hadn't done before on a date.  I called the neighbor and asked her to let Quincy out for me!

Fast forward.  We date, it's fun.  We find excuses to see each other.  Like, oh, hey...you're leaving town.  How about if I hike my ass over to your side of the lake in the middle of traffic so we can have coffee before your flight.  Or...hey...why don't you come over to my office and we can grab lunch in the middle of the day.

About 2 months (or so) in, I decide to introduce her to Desmond.  See, possibly one of my biggest criteria in finding a partner is how this person interacts with Desmond.  I may get along great with them, but if they don't like my kid (or if my kid doesn't like them), I don't plan to waste a ton of time with this person.  Kim was originally introduced as "Daddy's friend Kim."  To say Desi took well to her is an understatement.

Grandma was in town at the same time.  So, we were going to introduce both the kid AND the mother.  Talk about pressure for Kim.

We went to The Old Spaghetti Factory.  Classy, I know.  Mom, Des and I arrived first.  Mom and Des sat at one side of the table.  I sat on the other with the empty chair saved for Kim.

Kim arrives.  Desi leans over to Grandma and whispers something.  Grandma says "Oh," and looks at me.

"Desmond says he wants me to trade places with Kim," says Grandma.

Kid made one of his favorite people in the world move for the new girl.

Anyway, fast forward past multiple more dates, concerts, shows, hand holding, schmoopy eyes, etc and I decide to invite Kim on our Hawaii trip.  I mean, Des loves her, my parents love her.  And, what do you know, I love her to.  So, let's take this trip.

Well, many of you may have noticed that this whole thing moved pretty fast.  I started getting inklings of, Dang...I think I could marry this girl. Those inklings got stronger and stronger.  Until finally, I decided, Yeah...I'm gonna do this.  This girl is awesome.  Why wouldn't I want to marry her?  Everything fits!  Everything is right!  And, we're not getting any younger.  As a very wise philosopher once said, "If you like it then you gotta put a ring on it."  So, I bought a ring.

What better place to pop the question than in paradise.  So, we went out for some cocktails, took a walk at the marina and I popped the question.

Funny story, I had this routine that I had planned.  I'm not going to tell you what it was because it was totally hokey and schmoopy (I've always wanted to use the word schmoopy twice in a post).  But, it didn't involve putting the ring on her finger, simply in her hand.  So, she gets really excited, says yes (I triple checked) starts crying and throws her arms around me.  Unbeknownst to me, she slips the ring on her finger somewhere in this process.  I pulled out of the hug and reached for the hand that I put the ring in.  The ring wasn't there!  OH MY GOD!!!  THE DIAMOND RING HAS FALLEN INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN!!!!

No no, it's ok.  It's on her finger.  WHEW!

Anyway, we're officially getting hitched in June.  We're going back to Maui!  Why?  Well, we discovered that it's actually not THAT much more expensive to get married in Hawaii as opposed to somewhere in Washington.  Weddings are expensive, no matter what.  We could cross our fingers that it doesn't rain on us and find a place that is nice enough but not bank breaking.  Or...instead of breaking the bank in Washington, let's break it in Maui!!!!

Some pics below.  If you want to follow along on the wedding details, check out our website: http://www.pankomine.com.  Please note: being aware of this website does NOT mean you're invited!!!  Kim won't let me post it on Facebook because she doesn't want everyone to assume they're invited.  So, there!  I just told you you're not invited!  Unless you are invited.  In which case, you probably already know.

She's a real winner.  We've got ourselves a good thing going on.  Hurray for 2nd chances!

Dating sucks

No really.  Maybe it only sucks when you're 35 (almost 36 *GASP*).  But, it certainly sucks.  I thought I managed to avoid most of this by, you know...getting married.  But, life had other plans in mind, I guess.

So...let me tell you a little about dating. 

First of all...there is no time for it.  I'm busy at work.  I only get to see my kid for 50% of his life, so there is no way I am giving up the time I get to hang out with some new person.  Throw into that soccer practice, church, evening work events, time with friends who don't get to see you very much anymore...and that basically leaves me with Thursday night. 

Second...it's expensive! Etiquette dictates that the man gets the first check.  That's cool.  But, I am told I need to see lots of people since I spent my whole life with just 1.  That's a lot of first freakin' checks.  AND...I was raised to be a gentleman which makes it literally painful to not pay for everything!  I know that is tacky and SOOOOOOO not 2013.  But, that doesn't mean that part of me isn't screaming inside when I say, "Ok, yes you pay this time."  Especially when these ladies probably make more money than I do. 

Third...it's stress!  Dating is more stressful than my job.  When can we meet, where should we go, what do I say, did that thing I just said come off wrong, omg...I have to go to the bathroom, is there something in my teeth, someone in this restaurant farted and I bet she thinks it was me, I really want the blue cheese double bacon cheeseburger but that won't impress the lady, are those my feet I'm smelling, am I supposed to kiss her goodnight, am I drinking too much, what if I don't like her, what if I DO like her and she doesn't like me?  Anyway...you get the point. 

I put myself "on the market" in January or February.  Took a break for about a month or so because I wasn't really getting into it.  Maybe my divorce was still too fresh, I don't know.  So far, there have been 2 potentials, but nothing serious and neither of those worked.  So...it's back to the drawing board.  Back to first dates.  Back to "3 questions to dig deeper" on eHarmony.  Blech. 

I think I'm going to be a priest. 

Why dating a single dad is smart.

I came across this article on the Huffington Post today.


You know...I had a ton of fears about dating after my marriage failed.  After all...I had never really dated before.  Like...ever.  Women are scary, man. 

And, I have a kid to throw into the mix!  While my kid is super awesome and anyone who disagrees is clearly dumb, I understand that children are baggage that some people don't want to have to help carry. 

But, now that I have picked myself up and started to put myself out there a little bit, I came to realize a couple things, and this article helps prove it.  Single dads are awesome!  Well, unless they're jerks.  I'm not talking about dead beat single dads, mind you.  I am talking about involved single dads.  The ones that are ready to show you pictures and also ready to say no to a date because they are spending time that day with Jr.

So ladies...allow me to share with you some of my insights as to why you should date a single dad:

1. We know what it's like to put other people first.  It's kind of necessary when you're trying to stop a tantrum in the middle of the toy aisle.  
2. We've been barfed on and pooped on so there isn't a mess in the world that will gross us out.
3. We are obviously fertile and, with our offspring, you get a preview of how good our genes are.
4. We know how to keep things clean!  Wait...no...that's a total lie.  Sorry.
5. We're always ready to tell you a new joke we learned from our kid!  Like this one: Knock, knock! *who's there?* Toot... *toot who?* I TOOTED!!!  HAHAHAHAHA
6. We're great cuddlers from all the practice we've gotten with our little people.
7. We can cook!  I'm not saying we can cook well, mind you.  But, we can cook!
8. We won't cheat on you because, frankly, where would we even find the time?
9. Your whining won't phase us like it would someone without kids.  Wait...did I say whining?  I meant, we are open to listening to you talk about how hard your day was. 
10. Family is important to us.  We will be just as picky, probably even more, than you are in finding the right person to be with.

So there you go.  The rest of the pond is full of schmucks.  People are just after you for your money.

But, in the single dad pond, you find someone who isn't afraid of commitment, someone who has a proven history of stepping up, and someone who can clean up the plate of anyone who is full.

So...consider a single dad.  Cuz, we're awesome (excluding all dead beat dads, cheating dads, and Alec Baldwin)!

Walking