Reasons I will quit Google

You may remember, I recently took a job at Google. 

It's been pretty damn amazing.  I am really darn happy with this move.  They treat us really well here.  So well, in fact, that there is a term called #GoogleProblems.  Kinda like First World Problems.  Problems that you wouldn't have if you didn't work at Google. 

Googlers often have to remind ourselves that we have it really really damn good here.  But, it's still fun to mock ourselves when we catch someone, oneself included, complaining about something. 

I will give you an example by kicking off my new category: Reasons I will quit Google.

Today's reason I will quit Google:

Today, after I arrived, I stopped in the cafeteria to pick up some free breakfast.  I selected a salted bagel with cream cheese and some capers and smoked salmon (lox).  Unfortunately, the capers are SUPER potent!  Now...I have bad breath.  And I am out of gum.  Ridiculous.

I don't know if this will work out. 

Farewell 2nd Grade...on to 3rd

Desmond wrapped up the school year earlier this week.  My oldest little dude is rapidly becoming not so little. 

This was a good year, I think.  Desmond's teacher, Ms. Hoch, was just what he needed.  Kind and loving with just the right amount of kick you in the pants when you're out of line. 

The beginning of the year started a bit rough for Des.  Multiple card changes (the equivalent of getting your name on the board followed by a check or two when we were kids) and we got a few not fun notes home from Ms. Hoch. 

But, he turned things around!  We've been getting fell greens the vast majority of the time since January.  He still slips up here and there, but it's usually more about not paying attention than keeping his hands to himself, now.

Top this off with good grades and exceptional MAPS test scores (outscoring the district and national averages by considerable margins...brag alert!), and the kid makes us proud.

But, that's not all!  Second grade is a big year for little Catholics, too.  This was the year Desmond made both his first Reconciliation and his First Communion! 

I don't recall if I posted about this, but there are a couple pics for you.  He was a bit scared going in, but he confessed those sins like a champ! 

Then there was First Communion.  He looked so sharp!  Shaundar, Kim and I all walked up with him as he received his First Communion from Fr. Jack.  It was a very proud moment for me as a Catholic dad. 

This was taken just before mass.  I mean...COME ON!

With Fr. Jack

With his homie Garret

The Communion class, looking adorable.

And that's about it.  On to 3rd grade.  The 3rd grade teacher is young.  I'm hoping he large class of boys doesn't forget everything the Ms. Hoch taught them.  I'm sure they'll do fine!  Onward!

This guy is One Month old today.

You know...I used to think those one or two or three month signs or ties or shirts were really lame.

Then, my wife put one on my kid. 

Now they're super adorable! 

So..how you doin'?

Well, kid's been here three weeks and I haven't posted since he was born.  Label me a crappy blogger. 

So...how's it going?  Let me tell you!!!

Opie had to hang out in the hospital for an extra day.  His Billy Reuben count was high.  I don't know who Billy Reuben is...but I hate him.  However, one night under the bright blue lights and we were sent home.  Not too bad.

California Tan

So, we went home!

Shout outs here to Shaundar and to the Romines.  While Desmond was very excited to be at our place to hang out with his little bro, we were exhausted.  Kim and Owen were trying to figure out this breast feeding thing.  And nobody was sleeping.  Shaundar kept Des through our regular time with him.  It was a huge help.  And, Kim's parents agreed to stay through that first week and into the next.  This was a lifesaver, especially since I still had to leave town for a couple days to get Googled.

Took Owen to his first pediatrician apt the day after we got out of the hospital.  We were assigned a pediatrician who I am guessing is pretty new.  This assumption is based on the fact that she looks pretty young and that she always feels like she's reading from a script.  Check these boxes, move along to the next thing.  Not sure we'll stay with her or not.  Stay tuned.

After his first apt, Billy Reuben was still hanging around.  Jerk.  Dr. recommended that we supplement with formula since he wasn't getting enough from the boob to push out those Billys. 

What else? 

Desmond is an awesome big brother!  I have to occasionally remind him that babies are fragile.  He wants to hug him SO hard and he's sometimes been just a little too bouncy and/or non-self aware.  But, he really really wants to help wherever he can.  I feel bad saying no sometimes.  But, he is always wanting to hold or carry Owen.  I suspect we'll let him do more when Owen starts getting more control over his body.  But, I know how nervous I get when I am holding him and he does one of those warningless body jerks. 

Bros

Speaking of Desmond...Desmond totally made his first communion recently!  With all this baby stuff, I didn't post about that!  Stay tuned...I'll get that up ASAP.

Anywhoo...what else? 

Ummm...sleeping sucks.  And, I am getting a lot more of it than Kim is.  Kid wakes up every 2 hours.  Kim usually let's me sleep through the late night feedings but will tap at me at the early morning ones.  This is usually good timing for me to feed Opie, wake up Desmond and get us all ready for work and school. 

I don't really think there is much else to share.  Nothing exciting, anyway.  Kim is a great mom!  I mean, she was already a great bonus mom.  But, it's one thing to inherit an older kid that is already cared for and really just needs to know that you love him and will take care of him.  It's another to have a completely useless ball off poop that keeps you awake and destroys your life as you know it.  It's hard to remember as all this is happening that we are paying it forward a bit in anticipation of all the greatness to come.  Kim is a natural.  She's been pee'd on, pooped on and barfed on.  She's getting 4 hours of sleep on average.  She has to deal with a house filled with boys who smell and mess up her order.  But, she still manages to take care of all of us. 

I mean...I guess I could take on some of the work.  But, that would just be setting the wrong expectations. 

So, there's a quick update for you.  I'll try to post more as we continue along on this ship called Life.  in the meantime...here's some pictures.

Mom and baby post tanning session

I don't remember what night this was.  I just remember that I was beat and he wouldn't sleep.  Guess I love him anyway.

Des helped out with the Dr. visit. He's pretty proud to be a big bro.

Opie's Godfather Aaron came to visit.  I think they bore each other.

This doesn't have anything to do with Owen or our family. But, it was in my saved photos and it makes me laugh. So, here you go!

Life goes on outside of new babies! Des performed in his school's spring concert!

Have I mentioned I love baby graphic tees/onesies?

First trip out of the house!  Kim and I walked to get some beer while Opie slept.

My grandpa loves baby feet.  So, here's a pic of baby feet. 

Bags under the eyes must be genetic. Or he exhausts himself.

Sup, yo?

A highlight of my evenings is when Desmond reads to his little bro.

Helping(ish) with feeding while zoning in front of the TV.

Pankow boys!  Destined for good looks.

Opie? What's Opie?

Owen Pankow

O.P.

Opie

Started saying it shortly after we picked out a name. It stuck. :-)

Also, we figure he'll look like Opie from Sons of Anarchy. 

And, heeeeere's Opie!

Owen Francis Pankow!  Born May 14, 2017.  6 lbs, 15 ounces.  Somewhere between 6 and 60 inches.  Lots of hair.  Uhhh...what else do people ask for when it comes to babies? 

Welcome to the world, Owen!

So, let me tell you how this all went down.  Pics at the bottom of the post. 

It's Monday night.  I am NOT currently in Mountain View.  I am at Swedish Hospital in Seattle with my beautiful wife and my 2 (count them...one, two) sons! 

Saturday night, Kim and I were chilling at home.  I had already checked into my flight to San Jose scheduled for the next day and I was procrastinating putting my bag together.  Kim had just come over and kissed me goodnight.  I was going to watch an episode of American Gods.  Kim goes into the bathroom.

2 minutes later, "Ummm...Honey???  I think my water just broke."

No it didn't.  It's too early for that.  I have to be on a plane in 14 hours. 

Alas...her water did indeed break. 

FULL STOP!  SHIFT GEARS!!!

Emails sent to my new boss and my recruiter.  Ticket and hotel cancelled (to be rescheduled), forget about a luggage for San Jose, we already have hospital bags ready.  I checked all the boxes to kick off the labor process and spend a few hours at home while Kim labors there.

Nope.

Contractions progress very rapidly.  Like, really really rapidly.  They weren't lasting a full minute.  But, there were coming within 5 minutes of each other.  So, we opt to go to the hospital.  Worse case, they send us home.

They didn't send us home.  This baby is on the way!!!

I've mentioned before that I think women are amazing.  If I had to give birth, I would have filed for lifetime celibacy.

We got to the hospital around 10:30 or so.  Right to triage and taken to a birthing suite within 30 minutes.  Kim had an epidural put in around 11:30 or so and things started to calm down.  At that point, the nurse suggested we try to get some rest while we wait for the baby to move down a bit.  So we did.

Around 7ish, the pushing began. 

Push, push, PUUUUUUSH!  Ok, didn't work.  Go again.  Push, push, PUUUUUUUUSH!!!  No luck.

4 hours later, Dr. comes in with forceps.  Apparently, she's an expert with these.

(Side note...Kim's OB, Dr. Oman is pretty rad.  She's young, but she's also no nonsense.  She was totally rad and she's been with us from start to finish, from our original insemination to...well, what's coming up.)

Dr. Oman has the forceps.  But, after feeling around, she's not 100% sure she wants to use them.  It sounds like the problem is that Owen was not turning properly.  The Dr. wasn't able to get a good read on his shoulders.  Was he not turning because he's shoulders are too big?  It is his head?  What's going on?  Regardless, he's not coming out correctly.  We need to take alternative measures.  In her words, we should pick one. Nobody needs to be a hero.  So, rather than attempt forceps, which might not work, her recommendation was a C-section. 

So, C-section it is.

Now, I know many people who have had C-sections.  They've been successful.  Happy, healthy babies.  But, it was still scary going into an OR with a bunch of strange people (although, Dr. Oman was the surgeon, which was rad) getting ready to watch your wife get cut open. 

But, it went super smoothly!  Dr. O walked us through what was going to happen.  They put the big blue sheet up so we couldn't see what was happening, and they got to work. 

A few minutes in, Kim says to me, "I just felt them put an organ on my stomach."  ew.

A few minutes after that, I hear Dr. Oman say, "Dad, do you want to watch your son be born."

"Nope," I reply.

"Yes you do," she says.  "Stand up."

So, I stand up.  And there is my son, Owen Francis Pankow, being held by the doctor, umbilical chord attached to him at one end and going into my wife's bloody stomach at the other.  It was amazing.  Then he made his first noise.  Kim and I looked at each other and we were both crying.  I sat back down before I passed out.

I went over and hung out with Opie while Kim got stitched up.   Other than one "battle wound" from the surgery and a bit of a cone head from being stuck somewhere in Kim's pelvis, he was perfect! 

Due to the C-section, we get an extra day at the hospital.  Desmond is very excited to have his bro at home.  Shaundar brought him by last night to meet Owen for the first time.  It was one of the highlights of my whole life.  He's came again tonight for a bit to hang out.  He's going to be a great big bro. 

That's all I got for you.  Here's some pics! 

Right out of the oven.

What. The heck, people.  I did not ask to come out.

Mama gets to hold her baby for the first time. 

Kim's team.

Just don't look over the curtain.

Mommy should be pretty proud of her work.

Meeting his big bro for the first time! 

I've got some coming, soon.  This post was started the day we were supposed to leave.  Alas, we had to stay an extra day so Owen could use the tanning bed.  I'll write about that in the next post.  Stay tuned.

In the meantime...here is my new favorite video OF.ALL.TIME!

100% unprompted.  Love my boys!

First thing I need to do now that I am a Googler...

Stop using Bing.

I do genuinely love Bing.  I am sure there is some loyalty from my Microsoft days.  But, I also like the picture and the animations.  But, mostly it's habit.  I have been slowly trying to switch.  Updated the default on my (Google) phone.  Updated the homepage at home.

It's been real, Bing!  I will miss you.  But, I am a loyalist.  I am a Googler.  It's not you, it's me.  I've simply found someone else.  But, I wish you well!

Just Google it.

Well, looks like I am taking another new job.

What?  Didn't you just take a new job?

Why, yes...I did.  Not that long ago.  In fact, I don't think I even put it on the blog when I left The Climate Corporation.

Long story short, I left The Climate Corporation for Amazon.  I was pretty excited as Amazon is easily the #1 brand that gets my money.

Alas, it wasn't meant to be.  I am not going to go into a ton of detail on this because I remain grateful for the opportunity.  I will simply say that the Amazon culture and I are not a fit.  This isn't to say that it's a bad place to work.  On the contrary, it's a great place to work for a great many people.  I am just not one of them.  I look for different things in a company I get passionate about working for.  And, I am pretty sure Amazon wants different ideals from their employees.  If we were reviewed by eHarmony, we probably wouldn't have even made it to the "What if" section.

With that said, at the beginning of the year, I put some feelers out.  Got some solid bites!  But, as processes dragged on and baby got closer, the choices basically narrowed themselves down to 2.  Both exciting in different ways.  But, in the end, there was only one.  The Googs!

That's right...I am hopping over to Google.

I am really excited about this!  I have not been this excited about a new role since I joined Xbox way back in 2004.  I am skeptical that I will ever love my job as much as I did between 2010-2014...but, I think this one has the best chance to come close.

First of all, I am going back to recruiting...just plain ol', grass roots recruiting.  This is something I was striving for when I was interviewing with Amazon.  I have been a "Program Manager" for about 5 years, now.  But, as I learned when I was reorged out of Xbox in 2014, I am not a PM in the sense of a true PM.  It took me a while to fully accept this.  My heart wanted to be a PM more than my brain did.  But, then I took the job at Climate and actually started to get my hands dirty recruiting again.  I forgot how much I missed it!  To the point that, when I got to hire a team, I didn't really want to give that part up!

Alas, when I moved to Amazon, my job was, once again, as a PM.  Eh.  Still don't love it.

So, when I started interviewing, I had to explain myself a lot.  "Why do you want to take a step back in your career?"  or "Why don't you want to be a manager?"  or "How long until you're bored and want to move back into management?"  Considering I didn't consider this taking a step back, that I have no interest at the moment in being a manager and that I am actually itching to get back into recruiting and out of management...these questions sometimes seemed hard to satisfactorily answer.

Googs got it.  I love recruiting.  I love engaging with people.  I love the challenge of finding talent.  That's what I want to do.  And, now I get to do it for the #1 company in the world!  It's pretty exciting!  When you think about the cutting edge of technology, I can't think of a company more at the forefront than Google.  I was part of that when Microsoft built Xbox 360 and Kinect.  I haven't been able to have that excitement in a while.  It feels really good that have that feeling back!!!

The kicker...they are giving me 12 weeks paid parental leave.  12 weeks!!!  That's 3 months!  I remember being stoked about the 4 weeks Microsoft gave me when Desmond was born.  Amazon offers 6 weeks paid, but you have to be an employee for a year first (I wasn't).  This is huge.  And, as someone who values employee value proposition, what a huge statement to make to a bran new employee.  We are hiring you for you and we don't mind that you're about to have a kid.

Anywhoo...my first day is Monday.  Works starts with a 2 day orientation in Mountain View.  So, cross your fingers, say a prayer, close your eyes and go "LALALALALA"...whatever works for you...that Owen stays put for a few more days.  We're cutting this really close.

We have amazing friends!! Well, Kim does, at least.

Just kidding!  My friends are great, too!  And, we all know that a bonus for having Kim as a friend is getting me, too!!!

So, Kim has recently completed Baby Shower #3!

Baby Shower #1 was held by her girlfriends.

This was taken right before the pillow fight. 

This was taken right before I ate all the Nutter Butters. 

 This was taken. 

Then her coworkers threw one.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) Kim's friend Michaela only took pics of me.  I mean, I'm dead sexy, so I get it.  But here they are. 

Here's me being awesome in Owen's new Mariners hat. 

Here's me being awesome and eating baby food for money (guess the food...$5 for each correct answer...I got $20!  I think I left it in my pants pocket),

Here's Kim joining in my awesomeness.  

And, finally...the 2nd grade mom's at Our Lady of Guadalupe threw one!  Alas, I haven't received any pics from this one.  Although, it did come with a great "Diaper cake" made by Grace.  

People rock!  We love you guys!  We've pretty much checked everything off of our baby list.  There is more stuff that we will get a bit later.  Our house is only so big, so there will need to be some rotation.  Although, he currently has 92 onesies.  That is not a joke.  He literally has 92 onesies.  Not a lot of pants, though.  So, we'll either need to by him some bottoms or he can just start taking after dad early and go pantless most of the time. 

Anyway, friends rule!  Thanks, all!!  

Jimmy Kimmel Tells a Story...

Last night, Jimmy Kimmel told the story of his newborn son's birth and heart disease.  It was a touching story.  He clarifies at the beginning that the story has a happy ending, so hang in there.  But, it's certainly a tear jerker.

I consider us blessed that Desmond was born perfectly healthy.  And, I pray every night that the same will be the case with Owen.  While I have never been through anything so terrifying as a parent, I can feel the emotions as Jimmy shares what they went through.

Kid is HUGE...actually, no he's not

So...Kim has this a human inside her.  And, he takes up a lot of space!  Like, seriously...when he moves, you can't miss it.  It looked something like this:

[editors note:  here was inserted a scene from the movie Aliens...however, given that baby mamma reads this blog, the editor has decided to remove said scene to avoid early labor]

See...clearly not a lot of room.

Therefore, in her last trip to the Doc, Doc suggested another ultrasound.  Because, if this kid is too huge and he's to term, she says she's not going to force Kim to wait another 3 weeks.

OMG...did I just say 3 weeks?  Wow...that's like, really soon.

So, we go to the ultrasound.

We see a little footsie wootsie!  And, we get a good shot of his face, straight on!  From what we saw, it appears he will have a shorter Romine nose as opposed to the pointy Pankow nose that Desmond and I share.

And we see that he is just under 6 lbs, exactly where he should be.

Translation:  No early baby for you.

This is probably good as we're totally NOT ready.  I mean, we've got the baby room all set up and we've got the carseat and all the stuff we need.  So, I guess we're pretty much "ready."  But, we're totally not READY, if you know what I mean.

How Well Do I Know My Mate? From Facebook

You may know, I am totally addicted to Facebook.  These stupid status things frequently float around.  I think they're stupid, but I secretly want to do them.  So, I will do them here rather than subjecting everyone on Facebook to nonscense they may not care about.  At least this way, my 2 readers are opting in for my crap. 

I did this recently with the top movies of each year of my life.  Here is the next one...how well do I know my mate.  I think my mate is Kim.  So, here you go: 

• She's sitting in front of the TV.  What is she watching?

• That's easy...a kid's cooking show.  Like Masterchef Jr. 
• What dressing does she usually put on her salad. 
• That orange French dressing from the buffet, if it's available. 
• Name a food she hates.
• Indian food.  Oh, and also snails.  
• You go out to eat and have a drink.  What is she drinking? 
• Well, she's pregnant right now, so hopefully Club Soda with lemon.  Otherwise, a glass of wine or maybe something refreshing like a mojito?
• Favorite type of music?
• The worst kind.  Country. Barf.
• What is her nickname for you?
• Snookiwookums?  Or asshole?  I'm not sure I have a nickname. 
• What is something she collects?
• Nothing...she hates clutter. 
• Where is her favorite place to visit?
• Hawaii.  2nd favorite is probably her parent's house. 
• What is her favorite thing for breakfast?
• Eggs Benedict
• What would she never wear?
• Crocks.  Not in public, anyway. 
• What is her favorite sports team?
• The Seahawks. 
• What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn't do?
• Oh, jeez...only one thing?  I'm gonna go with bite my nails. 
• What is her least favorite animal?
• Birds
• What could she spend all day doing?
• Watching kids cooking shows.  

My Favorite Movie from every year I've been alive

I saw this going around on Facebook and thought it would be pretty fun.  So, I am throwing it up for both of my blog readers.  Feel free to take a stab on your own pages or in the comments, if you want.
The rules are simple...list your favorite movie for every year since the year of your birth.  Not necessarily the "best" movie.  That's very subjective.  Your FAVORITE movie.  For example:  Amadeus is a fantastic movie and it won Best Picture in 1984.  But, that's the same year that Ghostbusters, The Karate Kid and The Never Ending Story all came out.  I would pick any of those as my favorite over Amadeus without denying the greatness of that particular movie.  

So there you go.  And here I go:

1977: Star Wars (that was easy)
1978: Superman (what a crappy year for movies)
1979: Alien
1980: The Empire Strikes Back
1981: Raiders of the Lost Ark
1982: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (this one was hard as ET and Rocky III were also this year)
1983: Return of the Jedi (squeaks by A Christmas Story)
1984: Ghostbusters
1985: Really hard...but, Back to the Future just beats Goonies.
1986: The Three Amigos
1987: The Princess Bride (I bet you're surprised this beats out Masters of the Universe and Over the             Top!)
1988:  Die Hard...the greatest Christmas movie of all time!
1989: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
1990: The Hunt for Red October
1991: Beauty and the Beast (don't judge...or judge...I don't care!)
1992: A League of Their Own
1993: The Fugitive
1994: Forrest Gump
1995: Showgirls.  Just kidding!  Crimson Tide
1996: The Rock
1997: Contact
1998: Saving Private Ryan (this is also the year I lost faith in the Oscars when they gave Best Picture           to Shakespeare in Love)
1999:  Fight Club (BARELY over The Matrix)
2000: Bring It On
2001: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
2002: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
2003: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
2004: Anchorman 
2005: Batman Begins
2006: The Prestige
2007: 300
2008: The Dark Knight
2009: The Hurt Locker
2010: Inception
2011: The Muppets
2012: The Avengers
2013: Monsters University
2014: Guardians of the Galaxy
2015: Star Wars: The Force Awakens 
2016: Rogue One

Pretty sure 2017 will be this one:

I might be a little obsessed - OR - Graphic Tees for Babies

So, I may have become a little obsessed.  And, my obsession is with baby clothes.  You know, the whole, "Oh my goodness, this is sooooo cute," gushiness that I hear from women anytime they see tiny baby shoes or something.

But, alas...mine is much more specific.  You see, babies have their own version of the graphic tee.  Something that, if you know me, you know that I love.

Now, I am not the oogly boogly mushy gushy type.  Even when Desmond was little, while I knew my kid was adorable, you would never hear me be all like, "OMG, he is sooooo cute!  Look how cute he is!!!"  And, I especially never did that with clothing.

But then I see something like this:

I mean, COME ON!  It's got R2D2 on it and it says R2 Doo Doo!  Cuz babies poop a lot!  Get it!

Or, what about this one:

It's got the Gold and Crimson of Griffindor AND Snuggle this Muggle totally rhymes!  And, with the hat.  OMG!!!

Finally...what about this:

It's Snoop Dog, yo!  Except, instead of Money, it's Mommy!  Get it!  It's a play on words!!!

Whatever...I do what I want. 

I have, of course, purchased all of these.  And there are others.  There's a super cute Yoda hat with ears that I am excited to put on him.  He's gonna look so awesome!  

Playing with new themes

Trying to mix it up a bit.  I like this theme, but I can't figure out how to get rid of the couch.  So, if you're looking at my page while the couch is up, I'm working on it.  If you're looking after it after I have figured out how to get rid of the couch, then nevermind.

Update...ok.  That one didn't work.  I don't think there was any way to get rid of the images that Blogger chose for that theme.  So, trying another one.

I like how this one is broken into boxes.  But, it appears to look better when I add images.  So, I will need to add either images and/or video to my posts all the time so it doesn't look stupid.  So, for this one, I give you this picture!  It's of the Kardashians.  Because, that's what Google gave me when I hit "I'm feeling lucky."