Conversation Pieces - Eye Doctors and Tattoos

I have 2 today.

First, Took Desmond to his first eye doctor appt.  

Optometrist lady asks, "Do things ever look blurry when you look at them?"

Des looks at her straight faced and says, "Only when I do this..." before crossing his eyes.


The next one, Des flashes me his Despicable Me tattoo and says, "I'm tougher than you! I have a tattoo!"

I flash him my REAL tattoo and say, "Whatever! I have a real tattoo! That's like getting a million shots. You just put yours on with some water."

Des thinks for a second. Then says, "Well, the water was FREEZING COLD!"

Hobby Lobby

Ok...I am going to get political, today.

I do not understand why the SCOTUS decision on Hobby Lobby has so many people up in arms.  I would like some clarification.

"Corporate CEOs shouldn't have a say in the health care choices of women."

I agree...they shouldn't.  And, that's not what the ruling did.  The ruling was specific to small "closely held" businesses.  Business who's owners are so few that there is no distinction between the values of the business and the values of the owners.

"Viagra is covered.  Birth control should also be covered."

Ok...2 things.  1st, Viagra is used to fix a health problem.  IE: Dude is supposed to be able to get it up.  Can't get it up.  Needs medical intervention.  Birth control is a preventative.  Women are designed to get pregnant. 

Don't get me wrong.  I am not anti-birth control.  In fact, as a currently unmarried dude in a relationship, I am a big supporter of birth control.  My point though is that one fixes a problem.  Getting pregnant is the natural order of life.  The two are different.

2nd thing...birth control is still covered.  The case only involves forms of birth control that could potentially affect an already fertilized egg.  To many (including myself) this is an abortion.  It fits in another category altogether.

There's a ton in the social world right now.  Much of which annoys the crap out of me.  I support the decision and I am confused as to why more people don't.  The reason I support it is simple.

I believe that it is MORE dangerous to allow the government to FORCE an employer to pay for a practice he morally disagrees with than to allow that employer to abstain from the coverage.  Yes...an employer is having a say in a health care choice.  But, the birth control doesn't magically become unavailable.  It's still there.  It's still an option.  Go get it if you want it. 

There are cries that freedom is being eroded because women can't choose how to take care of their bodies.  I disagree.  Women can choose what they want.  But, their boss shouldn't have to pay for it.

What about Christian companies not hiring gays?

Different...that's discrimination. 
What about Christian Scientists not allowing organ transplants (or something?)

Different...an organ transplant is thousands of dollars.  Highly unobtainable to most of us without insurance.  Birth control is often cheap and easily accessible.

Blah blah blah, more and more excuses.

Really, folks.  Birth control is still available.  What's worse?  The government forcing someone to pay for something they are opposed to?  Or an employer making his employee pay for something herself? 

#NotMyBossBusiness...except I want him/her to pay for it anyway.

Conversation Pieces - I don't like chicken!

Des: "I don't like chicken!"

Me: "Yeah you do!"

Des: "No, I actually don't."

Me: "Since when?"

Des: "Since the day I stopped liking chicken."

Conversation Pieces - Don't Boss Grandma Around!

Grandma arrives on Saturday.

Me to Desi, preparing him for the new rules I plan to enforce: "I have told Grandma that she is not allowed to spoil you. You need to earn your presents."

Des: "Dad...why are you ordering Grandma around. She gets to order you around. She's your mom!"

Me: "...."

Politics and Junk

I was recently asked to consider being a PCO (Precinct Committee Officer) for the Republican Party.  In a nutshell, this means that I would be a representative for my precinct (which consists of about 10 square blocks), remind people to vote and be available to discuss policies and junk.

The first thing I said was, "I don't know if they would really want me.  I am not your typical Republican." 

What do I mean by this?  Allow me to explain.

I once heard a radio host (actually, I have heard this more than once, but it was one particular time when it really hit home) who, at the time, was very fond of the tea party, explain that he is a Conservative first, a Republican second.

That right there is where I get annoyed.

To me, Republicanism does not always equal Conservatism.  I will explain later.

Next...when I attended the "victory" party during the 2012 election (victory in quotes because we lost most of the elections), I was remarkably put off by the distain expressed towards Chris Christie, a fellow Republican.  People were furious that we had the gall to walk arm and arm through the newly ravaged New Jersey coast with Barack Obama.  You know...the President of the United States.  Their problem had to do more with the fact that he's a Democrat. 

Here is my voting order:
I am an American first!  This means simply that I don't care who is walking arm in arm with whom.  Chris Christie and Barack Obama are both Americans  And...New Jersey just suffered a major hurricane.  To me, their unification was a sign of greater strength as a country.  It's what we've been missing for a while.  They can argue taxes later.  That day, they were both Americans and they were there for each other.  Just like we should all be there for each other.  Regardless of Party.

I am a Republican second. Party comes after country.  I believe in lower taxes, states rights, individual freedoms, the free market, a strong military, etc.  You know what I don't believe in...telling people what to do in their bedrooms.  When did this become a Republican value?

I am a conservative third-ish.  I mean, I don't really even consider myself conservative.  Certainly, I have conservative views on some things.  But, I consider that more coincidence than anything.  Low taxes is conservative.  Being allowed to pray in schools is conservative.  However, being allowed to pray in schools has been turned into school led prayer.  Which, unfortunately, goes against my Republican values of less government....sooooooooo, we have a problem.  If the Jew wants to pray, he can pray.  If the Baptist wants to pray, he can pray.  If the Atheist wants to do nothing, he can do nothing.  But, when the principal gets up and says, "Let us pray..." you just alienated everyone who doesn't want to participate. 

I am a Catholic forth.  Meaning, I do take Christian values into account, but not on the level that my values will infringe on another's religious freedoms.  More along the lines of "Teach a man to fish" or "how you treat the least of my children is how you treat me." (I don't have the Bible memorized, in case you couldn't tell from my paraphrasing.)

And 5th, I am me.  This means that I reserve the right to change my mind.  I will always vote my conscious.  If I think the main guy is a schmuck...I won't vote for him.  I will write a name in before I vote for someone that I don't genuinely believe will do a good job. 

Anyway...apparently, as I was told my a friend in the party...they need more people like me.  Otherwise, the Tea Party nutjobs will take over.

Those guys...they need their own party.  Because, right now...they are really screwing mine up. 

Maholo, Maui!

Ok...so, I thought I posted this already.  I wrote it up, like, 2 months ago.  Not sure why I didn't hit publish.  Anyway...here it is.

_____________________________________________________________________

Last week, I returned from an amazing trip to Maui!  Last year, when I got my Microsoft bonus, I decided I wanted a nice big, long, real vacation.  Disney to start 2013 was a vacation.  But, I spent a significant amount of time during that vacation running.  I wanted a vacation where I did nothing but relax and have fun.  So...bring on Maui. 

Now...I haven't told my 9 blog readers much about Kim.  Realistically, most of you already know me, therefore you know about her already.  For anyone stumbling across this blog, you'll find pics in here of Kim.  She's gonna marry me next year.  But, I'll talk about her some other time.  Right now...here are some Hawaii pics for the grandparents who don't use Facebook. 

Some activities on the trip: swimming (obviously), mini-golfing, scuba diving (for me), the Old Lahaina Luau, and the shark tank...yes...I swam with sharks!  And, it was AMAZING!

Check it out.

Lady killers. 

 

That would be a shark about 1 foot away from me.

Don't touch the spikey things. 

I believe this is called a Horney Fish. 

Sharks!

More sharks!  And, a huge ass manta ray!

Sup, dude? 

I don't remember what kind of fish this is on the left...but, imagine how much sushi you could get from him. 

What's a dive without a scuba selfie?

Dad in Lahaina. 

Des was lovin' the ocean!

Waiting for the sunrise at the Haleakala summit. 

And, there it is! Amazing!

With Dad at the Summit sunrise. Don't mind the fact that we had to get up at 2 AM. 

From the bike ride down the summit. 

Same. Overlooking Maui. 

Showing Grandma how to play Nintendo DS. 

Paying more attention to my new camera than the spotted Eagle Ray in front of me.  

Des was a little scared before I got in the shark tank. 10 mins in, he was bragging to the rest of the spectators that it was his dad in there!

On the flip side, Kim wondered what she was getting into by accepting the proposal of a dude who pops the question one day and jumps in a tank with man eating creatures the next. 

 

Tiger shark.  The highlight of the shark dive.

With Grandma and Grandpa. 

Me, Des and Kimmy.

At the Old Lahaina Luau (which was good, but very overpriced).

Des conned Grandma into buying him a wooden turtle. 

My mom and Kim with my dad. 

 

Sunset in Lahaina

 

My old man at the top of the climbing wall

 

And again.  Can you believe this guy is 60 something?

Playing in the pool with the grandfolks. 

 

The only good pic I got from the very brief trip down the Road to Hana. 

Sunset on our last day. 

From inside the shark tank. 

Desi's first snorkeling! Next time, we'll go somewhere other than just off the beach. He was great!

 

Popey McPoperpants

So...in case you didn't know (aka...you are a heathen), it's Holy Week.  Beginning with Palm Sunday last weekend and ending with Easter Sunday this coming weekend, it's the week that we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus.  Yadda, yadda, religion, religion.  Bet you didn't come here to listen to me preach. 

I wanted to talk about the Pope.  Pope Francis...my favorite pope ever in the history of popes that I actually know anything about.  Which is actually not very many.  Peter, John XXIII, John Paul II, Pope Joan, Ringo and Francis. 

I don't know if this is done every year, but according to the National Catholic Reporter, His Popiness will be washing the feet of a bunch of people on Thursday.

For all of you who are going to Hell...Thursday is the day when we celebrate the Last Supper.  Catholics teach that, during the Last Supper, Christ washed the feet of his apostles, basically kicking off the priesthood.  So, many priests, bishops and popes have recreated this scene in modern days.  I have never had my feet washed by a priest, but frankly...I think it would be pretty awkward.  I don't even like pedicures. 

Anywho...this year, the list of popes the peeps are washing...wait...I mean the list of peeps the pope is washing include Muslims and *GASP* women!!!!

As you can imagine, there are some traditional Catholics who hate this.  They hate it because Christ washed the feet of men, only chose men for his disciples, etc.  The same thing we've been hearing for 2000 years.

For those of you who have never talked to me about this, I am a huge supporter of women in the priesthood.  I don't buy the argument that because JC picked men to follow him that means he only wanted men to be priests forever.  I think JC picked men because nobody listened to women back then.  Women were not in positions of power.  Stay home and make babies!  Obviously, Jesus was controversial enough to be crucified.  Why add another thing to piss people off.  He needed his message to be spread over thousands of years.  We all know how women gossip.  "He's the son of God" quickly turns into "He's the Son of the milkman and God has no idea...Jesus doesn't even look anything like God."

In other words...this is yet another reason I love Pope Francis.  He has really helped to restore my faith a bit.  Not that I ever lost faith...but, I certainly didn't enjoy church as much when all the stories I hear are bad and all the messages I get are more about exclusion than about love. 

This pope is amazing!  I hope he's around for a long time!

Oh...and PS...I just got engaged.  More on that later.

In case my page goes away....

So...I am having some problems with Google.

I purchased pankow4president.com in November 2012.  During the following year, the card I used to make the purchase expired.  I updated in Google Wallet, but apparently that wasn't sufficient.  I am getting monthly-ish mails from Google telling me the payment failed and my blog will expire if I don't pay the soon.

Only, when I go to pay them, they tell me I don't have an admin account, which is what I am supposed to use to pay them with.  I only have the one account with Google (actually, I guess I have 2, but I never ever ever use the other one.  Not even sure I remember the password.  Regardless, that one isn't an admin account, either). 

I find myself in a position where I need to pay Google, but they don't seem to be very interested in taking my money.  What the heck is that about?

Anyway...it won't be disappearing until later this year.  I can't seem to find any solution.  And, in my hunt for Customer Service, I am told I can't talk to a live person unless I have a paid account.  Which I do.  But, I can't seem to log into it because it needs to be an admin account, which I apparently don't have even though I used this same account to purchase this page.

*sigh*  Time to move to another hosting site? 

Dating sucks

No really.  Maybe it only sucks when you're 35 (almost 36 *GASP*).  But, it certainly sucks.  I thought I managed to avoid most of this by, you know...getting married.  But, life had other plans in mind, I guess.

So...let me tell you a little about dating. 

First of all...there is no time for it.  I'm busy at work.  I only get to see my kid for 50% of his life, so there is no way I am giving up the time I get to hang out with some new person.  Throw into that soccer practice, church, evening work events, time with friends who don't get to see you very much anymore...and that basically leaves me with Thursday night. 

Second...it's expensive! Etiquette dictates that the man gets the first check.  That's cool.  But, I am told I need to see lots of people since I spent my whole life with just 1.  That's a lot of first freakin' checks.  AND...I was raised to be a gentleman which makes it literally painful to not pay for everything!  I know that is tacky and SOOOOOOO not 2013.  But, that doesn't mean that part of me isn't screaming inside when I say, "Ok, yes you pay this time."  Especially when these ladies probably make more money than I do. 

Third...it's stress!  Dating is more stressful than my job.  When can we meet, where should we go, what do I say, did that thing I just said come off wrong, omg...I have to go to the bathroom, is there something in my teeth, someone in this restaurant farted and I bet she thinks it was me, I really want the blue cheese double bacon cheeseburger but that won't impress the lady, are those my feet I'm smelling, am I supposed to kiss her goodnight, am I drinking too much, what if I don't like her, what if I DO like her and she doesn't like me?  Anyway...you get the point. 

I put myself "on the market" in January or February.  Took a break for about a month or so because I wasn't really getting into it.  Maybe my divorce was still too fresh, I don't know.  So far, there have been 2 potentials, but nothing serious and neither of those worked.  So...it's back to the drawing board.  Back to first dates.  Back to "3 questions to dig deeper" on eHarmony.  Blech. 

I think I'm going to be a priest. 

Goodbye Satchmo Baggins

I've been thinking about my next post for a while, now.  But, before I get to that, I should let the 2 people that still read know that we recently lost a family member.

My little kitty, Satchmo Baggins, died a couple weeks ago.

In July-ish, I returned home from a work trip and I couldn't find Satchmo.  Finally, I located her hiding in the upstairs bathtub. The bathtub was gross where she had thrown up, there was a ton of cat fur lying there, and she was very skinny.  I am guessing she was there the majority of the time I was gone.

I could not get her to leave the tub.  I began bringing her food and water, which she would eat.  But, she would only leave to use the litter box.

So...I took her to the vet. 

The vet (I am guessing an on call fill in...I have never seen her before) gave her a once over and couldn't figure anything out.  She received an injection of fluids and some anti-biotics (she had been scratching herself up in a few places) and sent us on our way. 

A couple weeks go by.  I finally get Satchmo to leave the bathroom, but she takes claim to a downstairs window sill that she refuses to leave instead.  Shortly after, I start noticing pee around the living room and kitchen.  I immediately think it's Quincy.  It didn't take me long to realize it wasn't.  Satchmo was no longer going upstairs to use the litter box.  So...I bring the litter box downstairs.  This helps, for a little while.  But, again, it's not too long before she stops leaving her window sill altogether. 

So...I take her back to the vet.  This time, we got the regular vet.  The regular vet listens to what I'm explaining while feeling Satchmo's insides.  She stops and says, "There's something here."  That's when I knew everything else I was going to hear.  We took an ex ray and ran some tests to confirm.  Satchmo had a tumor.  It was very aggressive.  The vet ran the options down for me.  1) Surgury.  Likely to run around $2000 and not guaranteed to get it all or to even succeed.  2) Chemo.  Also $1500-2000 and also not guaranteed to succeed.  3)  Make her comfortable. 

I love Satchmo a ton.  But, she was 13 years old and I couldn't afford to drop $2000, likely more.  So...we opted to make her comfortable. 

I wonder if Satchmo sensed what was going on at this point, because she began leaving the window to sit with me on the couch. She still wouldn't go upstairs.  I even tried moving her to my bed so she could lay on something more comfortable, but she would always jump off and go back to her window.  So...I started staying down there with her.  She would sleep on my chest the entire night. 

Anyway, about 3 weeks ago, she was barely moving at all.  She was so skinny.  She never used the litter box, and even when she did try to go, very little came out.  She wasn't eating or drinking anything.  However...every night she would still lay on my chest and purr. 

I took her to the vet, Shaundar met us there, and we said goodbye.

When I picked up her ashes, the vet gave us this little token.  I love our vet.

Anyway...I miss my kitty.  She was a good girl.  She frequently gave dirty looks and she loved to knock the glasses off my dad's face when he visited.  But, she still know how to make me smile by rubbing her face right against mine.  Or how to sit in my lap at just the right time when I was feeling sad or lonely. 

In case you're wondering about Desmond.  He misses her, too.  I explained to him what was going to happen the night before.  He became very sad.  He yelled NO at me and told me he didn't want Satchmo to die.  This outburst lasted about 20 seconds before he said, "Daddy...when Satchmo is gone, can I get a pet mouse?"  He will still occasionally tell me he misses her.  But, I think this is simply a set up for the next question, which tends to be, "When are we getting another cat?" 

Here is the eulogy I posted for her on Facebook:
Goodbye, Satchmo Baggins. I figured you would outlive me because I was convinced you would either kill me in my sleep or shove me down the stairs. I will miss your dirty looks and our reading time cuddle sessions. Try not to scratch up God's furniture. Love you.

 

Conversation pieces

Desi: "Daddy...I think Grandma lets me have lots of stuff and spoils me because she's rich.

Me: "Yup..that's exactly why."

What the duck

Took Desi kayaking a while ago.  Got some pics.  Here they are because I know you can't live without them.

Why dating a single dad is smart.

I came across this article on the Huffington Post today.


You know...I had a ton of fears about dating after my marriage failed.  After all...I had never really dated before.  Like...ever.  Women are scary, man. 

And, I have a kid to throw into the mix!  While my kid is super awesome and anyone who disagrees is clearly dumb, I understand that children are baggage that some people don't want to have to help carry. 

But, now that I have picked myself up and started to put myself out there a little bit, I came to realize a couple things, and this article helps prove it.  Single dads are awesome!  Well, unless they're jerks.  I'm not talking about dead beat single dads, mind you.  I am talking about involved single dads.  The ones that are ready to show you pictures and also ready to say no to a date because they are spending time that day with Jr.

So ladies...allow me to share with you some of my insights as to why you should date a single dad:

1. We know what it's like to put other people first.  It's kind of necessary when you're trying to stop a tantrum in the middle of the toy aisle.  
2. We've been barfed on and pooped on so there isn't a mess in the world that will gross us out.
3. We are obviously fertile and, with our offspring, you get a preview of how good our genes are.
4. We know how to keep things clean!  Wait...no...that's a total lie.  Sorry.
5. We're always ready to tell you a new joke we learned from our kid!  Like this one: Knock, knock! *who's there?* Toot... *toot who?* I TOOTED!!!  HAHAHAHAHA
6. We're great cuddlers from all the practice we've gotten with our little people.
7. We can cook!  I'm not saying we can cook well, mind you.  But, we can cook!
8. We won't cheat on you because, frankly, where would we even find the time?
9. Your whining won't phase us like it would someone without kids.  Wait...did I say whining?  I meant, we are open to listening to you talk about how hard your day was. 
10. Family is important to us.  We will be just as picky, probably even more, than you are in finding the right person to be with.

So there you go.  The rest of the pond is full of schmucks.  People are just after you for your money.

But, in the single dad pond, you find someone who isn't afraid of commitment, someone who has a proven history of stepping up, and someone who can clean up the plate of anyone who is full.

So...consider a single dad.  Cuz, we're awesome (excluding all dead beat dads, cheating dads, and Alec Baldwin)!

Conversation pieces

While wrapping up bath, last night:

Desi: "Daddy...I have to get out. I'm all pruney. I think I am turning into something?"

Me: "Oh no...are you turning into some kind of monster?"

Desi: "I think so."

Me: "Do I have to worry that you are going to eat me tonight?"

Desi: "No...you'll be ok. I already had dinner."


Oh...and here's a pic of...well, I'm not really sure what to call it.  Some combination of the Dynamic Duo and the thug life, I guess.

Will you see the Ender's Game movie

So...if you've talked to me about books, you know that Ender's Game is my favorite book of all time.

My dad handed it to me in the 8th grade.  I refused to read it because I didn't like to read.  I liked comic books and watching TV.  I was dumb like that.

Finally (and, for the life of me, I can't remember why I changed my mind), I read it when I was a Junior in High School.  I fell in love.  I'm reading a book right now called "The Shadow of the Wind."  In it, there is a quote.  "Few things leave a deeper mark on the reader, than the first book that finds its way to his heart."  For me, this book is Ender's Game. 

I read a lot now.  Ender's Game is what made me a reader. 

Anywhoo...I could write about Ender's Game forever.  How the second book, Speaker for the Dead, was equally as good, but in a different way.  How the 3rd in the series was good not great and how the 4th felt like the author (Orson Scott Card) couldn't figure out how to properly end it, so he started writing gibberish.  Oh, then, I could write about how every single book since in the Ender universe was a pile of steamy horse crap written simply to make money off of the only character he was widely known for.

I digress.  Orson Scott Card is a Mormon.  He has never hidden this. In fact, he's pretty open about it.  Logically, one could therefore assume that he opposes gay marriage.  I don't read much of what he has to say outside of his books because, frankly, I don't care.  And...I'm still mad at him for ruining my favorite character of all time.  It wasn't until recently, now that an Ender's Game movie is in the can for November release, that I have been made aware of just how anti-gay marriage this dude really is.

He's not just against gay marriage for the same bullshit, but sometimes misguidedly logical, reasons your standard Republican homophobe is.  He's is downright "overthrow the government" opposed to gay marriage.

Now...I support gay marriage.  Yes, I am a Republican and I support gay marriage.  I can write an entire post about how it's hypocritical for Republicans to oppose gay marriage, but I'll save that for another day.  I support gay marriage.  But, I'm not really in the fight.  If you oppose gay marriage, I roll my eyes and move on.  I don't really have a horse in the race.  While I support it, I do not put it on the same level as the civil rights movement (gay people are not using separate drinking fountains) and I don't see marriage as a "right" to begin with.  Therefore, the issue does not fire me up like it does others. 

But, I do hate intolerance.  I do hate putting people in a lower class because there is something different about them.  And, this is where OSC has crossed the line for me.  Because people with a different lifestyle want the same perks as people with OSC's lifestyle, OSC is advocating revolution.  This is where he moves, for me, from one-hit-wonder-bad-writer-man, to jerk face.

If I think someone is a douche, I will not give them my money.  For example...I have never seen any movie by Roman Polanski because he is a rapist.  I don't care how artsy or moving or whatever these movies are.  I refuse to give my money to a rapist.  I don't see anything Mel Gibson is involved in anymore because he is a woman beating anti-Semite.  He doesn't get my money either.

But, damn...I LOVE this freakin' book!  For a long time now, I have envisioned seeing the movie.  Putting faces to beloved characters.  I've been wondering how the Battle Room can be brought to life with it's Zero-Gee fight scenes.  I so want to see Bonzo's eyes roll into the back of his head as Ender delivers a deadly blow to the crotch (oops...sorry.  Spoiler alert).  This book could very well be described as having changed my life (thanks, Dad!). 

What to do? 

An option I am considering...getting a less-than-legal downloaded copy from my buddy who hasn't paid for a movie in years.  I am typically morally opposed to this avenue.  But, I am also morally opposed to giving money to bigots. 

I have until November to figure this out.  Any philosophical advice???