Wednesday, March 11, 2015

It's Ok to Call Your Kid an Asshole

Not to his face of course.  But,'s ok to call your kid an asshole.

I was having a conversation with a friend, recently.  We were talking about how, despite how awesome and rewarding parenting is overall, there are times, certain times that are unavoidable, where you look at your kid, your amazing little man or lady, this person who you love unconditionally, and you think to yourself, " are being a total asshole!"

I think a lot of parents feel obligated to always think their kids are angels.  And, even during those occasional times when our kids are clearly NOT angels (you know, those times when you contemplate calling an exorcist because your flesh and blood is screaming at you because you won't let them stay up with you while you watch the Walking Dead, or when it seems like they have been taken over by a Tasmanian devil who loves to spin around the room making unrecognizable noises and making a bigger mess than Kevin Federline leaving a relationship) but may actually be the spawn of the devil (time for a paternity test!) even these times, parents feel a deep and (I think) largely political responsibility to still only talk about how precious that little sweetheart is.  I mean, he's/she's only 3/6/8/17/23 and he/she is only acting like a 3/6/8/17/23 year old should act.

I am here to tell you, without a doubt, that while it may indeed be how a kid of that age acts, it does not change the fact that the kid can sometimes be an asshole.

That kid can be a big asshole, in fact!  And, that's ok.  Because, you know what...we're all assholes sometimes!  And, you know what else...if you are acting like an asshole, I'm gonna be like, "'re an asshole!"  And, if I am being an asshole, I fully suspect you are going to look me in the face and say, "Dude...stop being such an asshole!"

Clearly, I can't look at my kid and tell him to stop being an asshole.  But, that certainly doesn't mean I can't be chatting with friends after a long night of fighting over how many more gal damn bites he needs to eat before we even start a discussion about desert by telling my friends, "Judas Priest, my kid is being such an asshole right now!"

We love our kids! Without exception.  All the time.  Every day.  Under no circumstances will we ever stop!!!

Not even when our kids are assholes.  

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