Thursday, January 15, 2015

Ben Franklin was my favorite president!

For a bazillion reasons.  But, this is article just solidifies my favoritism.

Ben Franklin wrote an essay about farting!!

Specifically, he was basically telling scientists that they needed to invent a way to make farts smell good.

Here's the best line from the essay: "Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses."

Would you expect anything less coming from the guy who wrote the Constitution?

You see, Ben Franklin was very forward thinking.  He knew that some 230+ years later, some ridiculously good looking gentleman would be sitting in his office all alone.  He would know that this gentleman may be in his office, without visitors for quite some time.  This gentleman will perhaps suspect that he may not see a real live person for a good chuck of the afternoon because many of his colleagues are working remotely or tied up in meetings that day.  Therefore, this gentleman may just get comfortable enough in his closed surroundings to "let one go," shall we say.  It is not impossible, in fact science (aka...the number of times this has happened to this nameless gentleman) has shown that it is rather likely, that another person will indeed unexpectedly pop into this gentleman's office not 10 seconds after pressure was relieved leaving a noticeable cloud of odor lingering in the vicinity.

Ben Franklin, genius that we was, likely foresaw the awkward silence that followed the entrance to the office.  Where the colleague once had a smile, a funny sneer has appeared as the new arrival looks around the room, eyes finally settling on those of the gentleman who is sitting in his chair innocently trying to convey a look of "Nothing is wrong in this room...everything is completely normal and the air is totally clean and clear.  There is obviously no fart smell fact, I don't even know why you may think that and I am certainly not going to outwardly suggest that you may be thinking it on the off chance that you weren't.  Actually, are you sure that's not your cologne?"

Thank you, Dr. Franklin.  Not only did you help found our reminded us all that even giants among men occasionally need to cut the cheese.

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