Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Why I Don't (usually) Wish People Happy Birthday on Facebook

So...I have developed a personal thing.  You of those things that is only a thing to you.  Nobody else really knows about this thing, but it's such a thing to you that you dare not move away from that thing?

Well, I have a thing.  And that thing is...I don't wish Happy Birthday on Facebook.

Why don't I do this?  Well, it's simple.  I think that if I actually like someone, I will wish them a real happy birthday.  I mean, I don't send a card or make a phone call or anything time consuming like that.  I usually do it via text.  This is my way of showing you that I actually care enough to send you a text on your birthday!  I mean, anyone can type "Happy Birthday" onto that super convenient little box Facebook puts up there on birthdays.  But, it takes a true friend to pick up the phone and type "Happy Birthday" into the screen.

Now, don't get me wrong...Facebook is very valuable when it comes to birthdays.  If it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't remember when anyone's birthdays are.  Seriously.  I know my mom and my cousin share a birthday.  I am pretty sure it is in March.  Thank God for Facebook!  Because, I would have totally forgotten to send my mom and cousin their birthday texts!

My dad's birthday is in the 1940s.  Sometime during the summer.

Desmond's birthday I know!  I think.

Kim's birthday, too.  I think I fear the wrath of my wife if I forget her birthday.

But, everyone else...forget it.

Oh, Jesus's birthday.  I remember Jesus's birthday.

Anyway...this rule has it's exceptions.  Let's say I don't have your cell phone number.  Then I would send you a note on Facebook.  If I actually consider you my friend.  I have some Facebook friends that I would call more of an acquaintance.  I separate friends from acquaintances by this simple rule...if you called me up and asked if I wanted to go out for a beer, would I do it?  If yes...then you're a friend.  If no, then you're an acquaintance.

This is of course assuming that I am not too tired or that I don't have other plans or that my wife would even let me or that I wouldn't have to leave West Seattle.  But, if all those criteria are met and I would have a beer with you, then you are a friend.  I will probably leave you a Happy Birthday message on Facebook if I don't have your cell phone number.

So...if it's your birthday and you don't see a "Happy Birthday" message from me on Facebook, don't think anything of it!  It just means that you should get a text from me if I actually like you.

And, if I forget...Happy Birthday!!!!

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