Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Let's talk about more scary birth things...OR...Reason #192 I am glad I'm a man.


Scared, yet?

I can honestly say that, prior to having to read about childbirth and junk, I had never heard of this procedure.

I think having a child is a lot like having a Security Clearance. You're not looped in until you have a "Need to know." Just like only the upper echelon of our government know about the alien bodies at Area 51, only people who have to go through childbirth know about Episiotomies.

If you don't know what an Episiotomy is, I am not going to tell you, because, obviously, you don't have a need to know. But, you can find out at this Top Secret website.

I imagine, from a Doctor's point of view, that the procedure is pretty easy. I mean...it seems a lot like kindergarten. Here's some pink construction paper and here are some scissors.

But, for a woman...I figure it's a lot more like, ummm, let's see...hell. I mean, you're already pushing a person out of you. Let's just make matters worse by letting some sun in where it's not supposed to shine.

Ugh...I'm glad I'm a dude.


Anonymous said...

No kidding, FYI - Births with epidurals almost always have this happen. Thats one reason we (ok, she) went natural, oh and because my wife is a buck stud!

Anonymous said...

You had never heard of this!! Why do you think I want to adopt? Maybe I'm just not very maternal. . but . . . **Shudder**

Anonymous said...

You'd better have a chat with Starbuck before the birth. There's a good chance the sun will be shining there with or without an episiotomy.

I can't NOT chime in on this Supreme Court thing

So, it's no secret on this page that I am rapidly pro-life.  I don't beat around the bush on this topic.  But, what you may not know...