Conversation Pieces - First Communion

This evening, we were discussing how we are starting First Communion prep next year.

Des: "I want to try wine to see what it tastes like before First Communion."

Me: "It doesn't taste that great."

Des: "Then why are YOU always drinking it?"

Time to vent...Gender Identity and Bathrooms

I need to vent for a few minutes. 

I am feeling a bit offended.  Offended and misunderstood.  It's often hard to be a Republican in a time when the Republican Party is falling apart and about to nominate a complete douche bag to be their nominee for president.  But, this isn't about Trump or the presidential race.

This is about legal permission to use the restroom of the sex you identify with rather than the sex you actually may be.  Or...as I see it...the ability to, without question, go into any restroom or locker room you want.

Now...here is where many people will immediately write me off as a bigot.  Oh, he's a Republican.  He hates LQBT folk.  He wants them all to burn in hell.

Well, if you think that, you don't know me.  Heck...you haven't even read my blog.

I am a supporter of LGBT issues.  My philosophy on most issues of rights can be boiled down to this: If it doesn't hurt someone or infringe upon the rights of others, I don't care.  And, as such, I am much more likely than not to support the issues of others because I believe in individual freedoms.  I want to remain free to tell my theatre friends that Shakespeare isn't all that.  Therefore, I will support others in their quests for rights.

In fact...let's assume you are a woman that feels a penis is really more your style.  Let's assume you walk into the bathroom while I am there.  I would treat you EXACTLY the same as I would a dude.  That is to say, I would completely ignore you and pretend that you weren't there.  If I were already in a stall, I would remain as quiet as possible in the hopes that you won't know that another is in the room.  This is because I hate public bathrooms and I hate sharing my pooping space with anyone!

In summary...I support a transgendered person's desire to use the bathroom of their choice, assuming they are as respectful as anyone else taking a wiz.  Get in, wiz, get out.  Don't mingle, don't stare, don't be a perv.

However...I don't support this controversial law I keep hearing about. 

Disclaimer: I haven't read it.  Nor do I intend to.  It's not my state.  It has no baring on me.  I know only what I have read, on both sides, on the internets.

So, why don't I support this law?  Well, here's an example of why, from Seattle:  http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/02/17/transgender-rule-washington-state-man-undresses-locker-room/80501904/

You see, there is currently nothing in place to determine who is actually someone who identifies with the opposite sex vs someone who is just a creep.  Supporters of the bill will say this isn't a legitimate concern.  It's by far the minority that would take advantage of the law.

Well, there is no data to support this.  I would offer different non-scientific data.  There are more perverts in the world inclined to take advantage of such a rule than there are transsexuals who would be offended that they *might* have to use the bathroom opposite of the sex the identify with.  (I say might because I stand by my thought that, unless they are weird about it, it won't be questioned more than it will.)

Obviously, none of what I said has any basis in fact.  It's all subject to our own opinions and experience.

So, here is my opinion.  I acknowledge that there are those that will be upset/uncomfortable/offended/other to be forced to use a bathroom that reflects a gender they feel trapped in.  I am sympathetic to this.  BUT...I am more sympathetic to young children and women who may find themselves victims of pedophiles and voyeurs.   

And, that's it.

If you are reading this and feeling like accusing me of saying that transsexuals are pedophiles, then please never talk to anyone because you are so closed minded that you just made up words that I didn't say.

I am saying pedophiles are pedophiles.  And, I am also saying that this is an opening for them to freely practice their pedophilia without recourse. 

Find a way around this and then come talk to me.  Until then...if you have a penis, you use the penis room.  OR...at the very least, simply act like the gender you identify with and use the bathroom you want!  If someone complains, oh well.  Use the other restroom this time.  Sucks, but it's a small price to pay to keep perverts from watching little girls undress. 

Politics and Porn

I know I haven't posted in a while, but nothing inspires me to write like two amazing topics like these.

I am very intrigued by this new little ditty in the news about a Ted Cruz ad hiring a softcore porn star for one of his ads. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3443481/Ted-Cruz-campaigns-quickly-pulls-Conservatives-Anonymous-ad-emerges-stars-softcore-porn-actress.html

Here's the gist.  The Cruz campaign produces an ad and one of the actors has been in some of those movies that you find on Showtime or HBO after your parents have gone to bed. 

Uh, oh...trouble for the Cruz campaign!  Once this got out, they had to pull the ad because Cruz stands for family values and stuff.  Clearly, it's hypocritical for him to employ this woman. 

Ok, I should clarify that nothing I am about to say is an endorsement of Cruz.  I can't stand Cruz.  I will vote for Hilary Clinton before I vote for Cruz and that is saying a lot.

But, here are my problems with this whole porn star thing.

But, first...can she really be called a porn star.  I mean, she does those late night softcore bits.  I've seen worse on Game of Thrones. 

Ok, really moving on now.  I'm considering where the true problem is with this whole thing.  Are we mad at Cruz because he hired a porn star?  Why are we mad at him?  Now, if he KNEW she was a porn star and he hired her anyway, I can see how that would be of concern to his super conservative following.  But, the campaign folks weren't aware of this women.  They clearly have their search engines set to "safe search."  I would say the fact that she slipped through the cracks is actually evidence that Cruz and his leaders practice what they preach.

Shouldn't we really be concerned about the people that informed him, after the ad aired, that she has been involved in adult films?  I mean, someone clearly recognized her.  And, someone had a contact high enough up to get Cruz the message. 

So, bottom line, a woman auditions for a part and gets it fair and square.  But, we found out later that she showed her boobies in movies that only 17 years olds watched after midnight about 15 years go, and the ad needs to be pulled.

Did you know Bo Derek is a well known Republican. I've seen her boobs.  But, every 4 years we still like to highlight that she leans right. 

Anywho...I just thought it was interesting.  Ted Cruz didn't know they hired a "porn star."  Sounds like something they should actually be proud of.

I mean...I didn't recognize her, either. 

Happy New Year!

Well, I am late on this.  And Desmond's birthday post.  And Christmas.  But, I wanted to get this up because I always like reflecting on the past year.

So...my 2015.  Easily one of the best years of my life if not THE best.  Here's what went down.

• I got married!  To an amazing woman!  Not to kiss her butt too much, but there are times when I still wonder how the heck I got so lucky!  How was she around at just the right time?  Someone so fitting for me?  Well, she was, Praise the Lord, and she is now Mrs. Pankow!  
• Maui.  I love Maui.  I know this was for a wedding and junk.  But, I will list Maui every single time I go there.  Also...between you and me...WE'RE GOING BACK!  In March!  We love it so!
• Desmond continues to grow.  And, in amazing ways.  He is so smart.  He is very caring.  One night, Kim was sick.  Sick enough to schedule a doctor appointment.  Desmond handed her Bubba in the morning before he went to school so she wouldn't be lonely and would have something to comfort her at the doctor.  Also, for his 7th birthday, in lieu of presents, he asked all of his friends to bring food for the West Seattle Food Bank.  (This is one of the things I am late posting about). 
• I got a new job!  10 years at Microsoft.  Now, I am with Climate.  It's still often weird to think that I am not a Microsoftie, anymore.  But, I'll be honest...this was a great move.  Both personally and professionally.  Professionally, I am growing in new ways, working on new projects with new people.  Personally...well.  If my hair weren't already all gray, I might say the graying has stopped.  
• Spent our first Chrismas with both sets of parents!  (Another post I am late with.)  And, nobody died!!!  In fact, it was pretty awesome.  
• Bought a house!  Yup...Kim and I are official homeowners together!  We bought the house we were renting.  At an incredible deal, too.  The owners were super nice.  Like, super duper nice.  They had started their family in this house and had made a lot of updates.  They had to move because his job shut down their Seattle offices.  So, they put their house up for rent.  This year, when Kim and I started to discuss buying a place, we mentioned this to them and they were like, "Well...what if we sell you ours."  They said they wanted to know it was going to a family who would take care of it.  Not a builder who would just tear it down and built condos.  
• A year is so long.  What else did I do?  I don't remember. 
• Did I mention we went to Maui?  And we're going back!!!
• The Seahawks lost the Superbowl. :-(  But, they still have a chance to win in 2016!
• That's all I can think of off the top of my head.  I should probably refer to my mother's Christmas letter as she keeps better tabs on what I do than I do. 

Happy New Year, friends!  Stay classy!

Things That Make Me Smile - Uptown Funk with Old School Dance Scenes

This is something my dad would like as well.

Dear New Co-Workers

Having worked at one company, largely on one team, even, you get to know your coworkers really really well.  Likewise, they get to know you!  They get to know all your quirks as well as all your strengths and weaknesses. 

It struck me recently, as I am getting to know my new team, that my methods may confuse some people.  They may seem odd.  Or, to put it better...they may seem annoying.

You see, I have ADD.  Like, the real ADD.  Not that, "Oh my, I am soooooo ADD" kind of ADD that people like to say they have when they forget to do something or to explain why they talk so much.  My ADD is legit. 

What does this mean?  Well, for one, it means I am almost always moving.  Movement can come in a variety of ways.  It could mean I am getting out of my seat.  It could mean I am bopping to the music I am listening to.  Or, the one that is usually most noticed and certainly most annoying, it could mean my legs are bouncing almost non-stop during meetings.

You see, I am typically able to manage my ADD.  However, I think it requires an outlet.  I believe this outlet comes in the form of constant bouncing or fidgeting.  The good news is...if I am bouncing, it usually means I am paying attention!  If I am not bouncing...well, chances are good that you have lost me and I am actually wondering if snails have a sense of smell. 

Another thing about me...I almost never bring my laptop to meetings.  To some, this may seem like I am unprepared.  But, really...unless I am presenting something, why do I need my laptop at a meeting.  One of my biggest pet peeves at work is when people sit there clicky clacking on their laptops while someone else is talking.  Someone took the time to meet with you and they have information that they think is valuable enough to share and you sit there sending mail, or worse, looking at Facebook. 

Also...I distract easy.  If I have something in my space that can easily pull me away from paying attention to something, you can bet your bottom I will eventually find my way to that thing.  It's not personal...it's just part of who I am.  So, I eliminate the distraction by not bringing my laptop.  I will bring a pad of paper and a pen and that's about it.  Any action items I have will be written on that pad and transferred to my task list later.  Double work?  Maybe...but more efficient in the long run.

Finally...I talk to myself.  I actually didn't realize how much I talk to myself until I took this new job.  I seem to talk to myself quite a bit.  It helps me think.  Maybe I am a schizophrenic.  Point is...I talk to myself.  And, I often have headphones on, so I have no idea how loud I am.  Sorry about that. 

That's all!  Have fun working with me!

Poo Poo Parents Say

I have definitely said at least 90% of these.

There are certain things that I promised I would never say to my kid because I HATED when my parents said them to me.  I think I have broken this promise to myself in most circumstances. 

 

Those 5 minutes I thought my kid had been kidnapped.

Yeah...so this happened. 

I was cooking dinner one night.  Kim wasn't home from work yet.  Desmond had finished his homework and had either used up his allotted screen time or lost it.  I don't remember.  Point is, I was making him entertain himself by doing something besides rot his brain in front of 100 consecutive episodes of whatever his TV show of the week is.

Then...I made him mad because I yelled at him.  Actually, it wasn't really yelling AT him.  But, I did yell in his direction which scared him a bit.  He had a large stuffed animal on the couch and was proceeding to climb said stuffed animal.  At one point, I noticed it tipping forward and, in an instant, in my mind's eye, I witnessed him crashing forward, face first, into the coffee table.  That's when I yelled.  AAARGH!  Or something.  It was a loud yell.  I apologized, but it was unconscious as I seriously thought he was about to break his face.

Anyway...he was mad at me. 

So, I am in the kitchen and he is moping around the living room.  Finally, I hear the front door open.  He went outside. 

He does this occasionally.  I don't mind it.  He's outside.  It's a nice neighborhood.  And, I tend to peek out and check on him every 5 mins or so. 

He comes back in, mopes in the kitchen for a bit and leaves again.  This happens another 2 or three times.

Finally, 5 minutes after he mopes his way out of the kitchen and I hear the front door open and close, I go to do my check on him in the front yard.

I don't see him.

Well, maybe he's just up the street a bit.  Our house is on a corner lot and he sometimes goes digging at our fence along the street. 

Nope...not there. 

There is a missing board in the fence.  Maybe he went into the backyard.

Nope. 

At this point, my heart is beating a bit.

"Desmond!" I call.

Nothing.

I start to fast walk to the other side of the house.  Maybe he's exploring along the neighbors yard?

"Desmond!"

Nope.

Now my heart is pounding, but surely he's just hiding cuz he's still mad at me.

"DESMOND!!!" 

Nothing.

Across the street, a new home is being built.  I fast walk over there and ask one of the builders, "Did you see a little blond kid out here?"

"No."

"Shit." 

"DESMOND!!!!!!" 

Still nothing.

"DESMOND!!!!" up the street.

"DESMOND!!!!"  up the cross street.

A woman walking her dog is looking at me, perhaps wondering if she should assist.  Perhaps wondering how I could have lost my kid.

I am sweating.  My heart is beating through my chest.  Holy shit...where is my kid????  Did someone take my kid????

"DESMOND!!!!!  ANSWER ME!!!!"

"WHAT????" comes a high pitched, annoyed voice from behind me.

Desmond is standing in the front door. 

"Where were you???"  I ask, exasperated and relieved beyond description.

"I was upstairs.  I've been yelling "what?" at you!"

All of this lasted maybe 3 minutes.  Maybe 4 tops.  Not a long time at all.  But, I don't think I have ever been so relieved!  Nothing happened.  I had absolutely nothing to worry about, after all.  But, man, did I ever give that kid a big hug when I went back inside. 

I told him I was worried someone took him.  He gave me a hug back.  He didn't seem like he was mad at me anymore, either.  Although, he did ask why I didn't just check upstairs.  Good question. 

Goodbye Microsoft! Hello Climate Corporation!

Yup...you read that correctly.  I have left Microsoft.  My 2nd home for over 10 years.  Wow...it feels weird reading that back right now.  But, it's real.  Today was my last day.  I have turned in the ol' Blue Badge and rode off into the sunset.  Well...actually, I left around 3 so the sun was still pretty high up there.  But, whatever.

I have left Microsoft to join another company.  The Climate Corporation. 

Climate is a San Francisco based company with an office in Seattle.  In a nutshell, they make technology for farmers.  Imagine getting to work on products that impact our every day life in fundamental ways.  I spent 9 years working on a super fancy product...Xbox.  It was amazing, it was sexy...but, at the end of the day, it was a toy.  Something only some people could afford and not everyone was interested in.   Outside of Xbox, Microsoft focuses mainly on productivity.  Our tools impact people all over the world...but, in ways that, ultimately, we could live without.  

In my new role, I will be impacting everyday life.  I will be impacting something that affects billions of people in ways that we can't live without.  If the world crashes, we can live without our computers.  We can't live without our food. 

The job is super cool.  I'll be working on college recruiting and staffing programs.  It's a lot, but it's a small company. :-)  My focuses, as I understand them now, will be on university relationship building, college hiring, and programs such as diversity.  I get to work on things I am passionate about and I get to take myself out of a comfort zone I have sat in for a long time.

Microsoft has been amazing to me.  I have zero hard feelings.  I grew more in my first year at Microsoft than I did in my 5 prior years recruiting.  My life is so different now.

Ten years ago...

• Desmond wasn't around,
• I was married, but not to my current wife,
• I had 2 cats and an adorable puppy with perfect eye sight and a weird itchy problem we couldn't figure out,
• I lived in Tacoma,
• My list of close friends was almost 100% different (save for the longtime besties like Eric, Liz and MichaelPaine),
• I was in the Navy Reserve,
• John Paul II was the Pope,
• George W. Bush was just elected to his 2nd term,
• Pluto was still a planet.

Whether or not to leave Microsoft was a super hard decision.  But, it's the right one.  It's time to grow and it's time to evolve.  Microsoft is on a great path and I plan to continue to be a Windows/Xbox/Bing user for a long time (Windows Phone, on the other hand...well, I may have already switched there). 

I'm excited!  I'm ready to go!  Let's do this!!!

#Batgate

So, let me get this straight...

An AMAZING play by Kam Chancellor leads to a fumble which goes into the end zone.

KJ Wright, surrounded by nobody, bats the ball out of bounds.

And, everyone is screaming because the Lions should have won the game? 

I acknowledge that a rule was broken.  But, in this case, it's a dumb rule.  The rule is for punters who are in the end zone trying to get a kick off.  Should the kick be blocked or the kicker fumble the ball, the officials don't want them doing something to avoid the safety.

This wasn't the case in this play.

If KJ didn't touch the ball and it went out of bounds, no penalty.

If KJ picked up the ball and ran out of bounds, no penalty.

If KJ even ATTEMPTED to pick up the ball, was unsuccessful and the ball went out of bounds, no penalty. 

So, it's the simple act of him pushing the ball out of bounds that everyone is crying about. 

Now, I know I am a Hawks fan and I understand my bias here.  I always try to remove my bias, but I acknowledge that it is hard to do in this case.  But, even as I try to put myself in the other teams shoes, I think I would simply shrug my shoulders and say, "Oh well." 

I would not be crying about "Batgate" and talking about how the Seahawks stole the game.  Because they didn't.  The Seahawks made a great play.  The game ended on that play.  The rule is stupid and the foul wasn't flagrant.  Let it go and focus on that awesome forced fumble.  Because that is what everyone should be talking about!!!

Conversation Pieces - Constitootion.

This happened a while ago, but it popped up on my Facebook memory feed, recently.  Too good not to post.

Desi: "I'm glad that I live in America because I can say 'stupid' and not get arrested!" (apparently, he learned this from a Capitan America book.)

Me, seeing a great opportunity for a civics lesson: "That's right! It's called 'Freedom of Speech' and it's one of many right we have written out in a big document called the Constitution!"

Desi, laughing: "Part of Constitution sounds like toot!"

Monster Squad has come to Netflix

What is Monster Squad, you ask?  Well, it's a story about a bunch of friends who have to save their town from monsters.  Or something.  I used to love this movie as a kid.  But, I admit...I don't remember a ton about it.

One thing I do remember, however, is that the single greatest line in movie history happens in Monster Squad.  Better than, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.". Better than "Life is like a box of chocolates.". And better than "To Infinity and Beyond."

Ladies and gentleman...I give you, the greatest line in movie history:

Conversation Pieces - Marriage

We were eating lunch at taco time.  I was enjoying a delicious taco.

Me: "I love this taco.:"

Desmond: *looks at me funny*  "You love it?"

Me: "Yeah...I love it so much, I am going to marry it."

Desmond:  "Really dad?  You're going to get married 3 times?"

Teachers and stuff

It's September and you know what that means!  It's time for the annual Teacher Strike!

This time, it looks like there are 2 districts striking.  Pasco and my home town of Seattle.

This is a real hot button issue for me.  I frequently disagree with my liberal friends and neighbors in the area.  Also, I know quite a few teachers who have strong opinions on this.  When you hear me vent about striking teachers, I can understand how you might think I am "anti-teacher."

But, that couldn't be further from the truth.  I am VERY VERY pro teacher. 

So, I felt moved to write a post to my blog because that's what I do when I have something I want to say. :-)

Here are the fundamental reasons why I oppose teacher strikes:

1. Teachers are public employees. 
2. Teachers are salaried professionals.  Why do they even have a union?  They're not machinists or plumbers.
3. NOBODY is hurt by teacher strikes except the parents and students.  Districts are given their money from the state.  Teachers will still get paid.  Districts will still get paid.  In the meantime, parents need to struggle to find and pay for child care and the kids get to go even longer without their education.
4. On average, teachers make good money and receive good benefits for 9 months of work.

Ok...I hear people yelling at me already, particularly on the 9 months of work and the good money part.  But, I want to point out that I said, "on average." 

You see, here is the thing that pisses me off most. 

There are some amazing teachers out there.  AMAZING!  These teachers are not paid enough. 

There are also some crappy teachers out there.  These teachers are paid too much. 

How do we determine good teachers from bad teachers?  I don't know because teachers don't want to be evaluated in meaningful ways.

See...my problem ultimately comes down to the union, not the teachers.  Because of the union, no meaningful criteria can be used to evaluate a teacher.  Therefore, there is no real way to determine who is an excellent teacher and who sucks.  Also, because of the union, so much focus is put on seniority over talent.  I don't care if a teacher has been teaching for 30 years.  If that teacher is not as good as this younger teacher who has only been teacher for 5 or 10, they should not be making as much money.

Why can't we run education more like a business?  If there is a teacher in Minnesota who has received multiple awards and has lead 100% of their students to passing grades and is largely seen to be amazing, why can't we offer this person $100k/year? 

On the flip side, why can't we fire the English teacher who plays movies in class every day? 

We have failed our teachers.  Our good teachers.  We have failed them because we let the system get to this point.  I know it's not PC to say, but when you have a job that pays you $60k a year, gives you 3 months off in the summer, 2 weeks for Christmas, 1 week for min-winter break and another for Spring break while offering you incredible job security, it's really not that hard to attract people. 

"But, teachers teach because they have been called to!"  Yes...some of them have.  But, many of them haven't.  Many of them like the easy paycheck and 3 months plus of vacation time.  And frankly...many of them weren't smart enough to be engineers.  This was my problem when I was studying to be a teacher.  We have lowered our standards for teachers and because of this, talent is going down. 

The teachers at Desmond's school have been called to teach!  They teach in a small private school where I am willing to bet they make less than a public school teacher.  They seem happy to be there every single day.  They are not striking today.  They are in class teaching. 

Seattle teachers are on strike.  Skipping out on their responsibilities to their students.  Already talking about how they don't earn a "living wage" and how they will likely ignore the courts if they are ordered back to work, trying to lump it under civil disobedience.  You know, like the civil rights and anti-war movements.

I fully support the raise that the Seattle teachers are looking for.  But, only for those that deserve it.  Show us who those are and I will gripe less.  Find other ways to get your point across besides these illegal and annoying strikes and I will be first in line to support you.  In the meantime, I will complain like I do every single year.

Bottom line from me: Great teachers deserve great salaries.  Bad teachers deserve to be fired.

Dad of Divas...Dads in the Limelight!

There is a really great dude I follow on Twitter names Chris Lewis.  Chris and his wife are the parents of two girls and he keeps a blog called Dad of Divas! 

One of the features of Chris's blog is a series called "Dad's in the Limelight."  A few months ago, Chris pinged me on Twitter and asked if I would like to be a part of this series.  I was like, "Heck yeah!!!" 

The post went up this weekend!  Go check it out here: http://www.dadofdivas.com/dads-in-the-limelight/dads-limelight-limelightdads-jason-pankow-jpankow-dadchat

Now, it was written a few months ago, so obviously some things have changed.  Like, you know...me getting married and stuff.  Not to mention that Desmond starts the 1st grade next week.  Can you believe it????  First Freakin' Grade!!!