Things That Make Me Smile - Uptown Funk with Old School Dance Scenes

This is something my dad would like as well.

Dear New Co-Workers

Having worked at one company, largely on one team, even, you get to know your coworkers really really well.  Likewise, they get to know you!  They get to know all your quirks as well as all your strengths and weaknesses. 

It struck me recently, as I am getting to know my new team, that my methods may confuse some people.  They may seem odd.  Or, to put it better...they may seem annoying.

You see, I have ADD.  Like, the real ADD.  Not that, "Oh my, I am soooooo ADD" kind of ADD that people like to say they have when they forget to do something or to explain why they talk so much.  My ADD is legit. 

What does this mean?  Well, for one, it means I am almost always moving.  Movement can come in a variety of ways.  It could mean I am getting out of my seat.  It could mean I am bopping to the music I am listening to.  Or, the one that is usually most noticed and certainly most annoying, it could mean my legs are bouncing almost non-stop during meetings.

You see, I am typically able to manage my ADD.  However, I think it requires an outlet.  I believe this outlet comes in the form of constant bouncing or fidgeting.  The good news is...if I am bouncing, it usually means I am paying attention!  If I am not bouncing...well, chances are good that you have lost me and I am actually wondering if snails have a sense of smell. 

Another thing about me...I almost never bring my laptop to meetings.  To some, this may seem like I am unprepared.  But, really...unless I am presenting something, why do I need my laptop at a meeting.  One of my biggest pet peeves at work is when people sit there clicky clacking on their laptops while someone else is talking.  Someone took the time to meet with you and they have information that they think is valuable enough to share and you sit there sending mail, or worse, looking at Facebook. 

Also...I distract easy.  If I have something in my space that can easily pull me away from paying attention to something, you can bet your bottom I will eventually find my way to that thing.  It's not personal...it's just part of who I am.  So, I eliminate the distraction by not bringing my laptop.  I will bring a pad of paper and a pen and that's about it.  Any action items I have will be written on that pad and transferred to my task list later.  Double work?  Maybe...but more efficient in the long run.

Finally...I talk to myself.  I actually didn't realize how much I talk to myself until I took this new job.  I seem to talk to myself quite a bit.  It helps me think.  Maybe I am a schizophrenic.  Point is...I talk to myself.  And, I often have headphones on, so I have no idea how loud I am.  Sorry about that. 

That's all!  Have fun working with me!

Poo Poo Parents Say

I have definitely said at least 90% of these.

There are certain things that I promised I would never say to my kid because I HATED when my parents said them to me.  I think I have broken this promise to myself in most circumstances. 

 

Those 5 minutes I thought my kid had been kidnapped.

Yeah...so this happened. 

I was cooking dinner one night.  Kim wasn't home from work yet.  Desmond had finished his homework and had either used up his allotted screen time or lost it.  I don't remember.  Point is, I was making him entertain himself by doing something besides rot his brain in front of 100 consecutive episodes of whatever his TV show of the week is.

Then...I made him mad because I yelled at him.  Actually, it wasn't really yelling AT him.  But, I did yell in his direction which scared him a bit.  He had a large stuffed animal on the couch and was proceeding to climb said stuffed animal.  At one point, I noticed it tipping forward and, in an instant, in my mind's eye, I witnessed him crashing forward, face first, into the coffee table.  That's when I yelled.  AAARGH!  Or something.  It was a loud yell.  I apologized, but it was unconscious as I seriously thought he was about to break his face.

Anyway...he was mad at me. 

So, I am in the kitchen and he is moping around the living room.  Finally, I hear the front door open.  He went outside. 

He does this occasionally.  I don't mind it.  He's outside.  It's a nice neighborhood.  And, I tend to peek out and check on him every 5 mins or so. 

He comes back in, mopes in the kitchen for a bit and leaves again.  This happens another 2 or three times.

Finally, 5 minutes after he mopes his way out of the kitchen and I hear the front door open and close, I go to do my check on him in the front yard.

I don't see him.

Well, maybe he's just up the street a bit.  Our house is on a corner lot and he sometimes goes digging at our fence along the street. 

Nope...not there. 

There is a missing board in the fence.  Maybe he went into the backyard.

Nope. 

At this point, my heart is beating a bit.

"Desmond!" I call.

Nothing.

I start to fast walk to the other side of the house.  Maybe he's exploring along the neighbors yard?

"Desmond!"

Nope.

Now my heart is pounding, but surely he's just hiding cuz he's still mad at me.

"DESMOND!!!" 

Nothing.

Across the street, a new home is being built.  I fast walk over there and ask one of the builders, "Did you see a little blond kid out here?"

"No."

"Shit." 

"DESMOND!!!!!!" 

Still nothing.

"DESMOND!!!!" up the street.

"DESMOND!!!!"  up the cross street.

A woman walking her dog is looking at me, perhaps wondering if she should assist.  Perhaps wondering how I could have lost my kid.

I am sweating.  My heart is beating through my chest.  Holy shit...where is my kid????  Did someone take my kid????

"DESMOND!!!!!  ANSWER ME!!!!"

"WHAT????" comes a high pitched, annoyed voice from behind me.

Desmond is standing in the front door. 

"Where were you???"  I ask, exasperated and relieved beyond description.

"I was upstairs.  I've been yelling "what?" at you!"

All of this lasted maybe 3 minutes.  Maybe 4 tops.  Not a long time at all.  But, I don't think I have ever been so relieved!  Nothing happened.  I had absolutely nothing to worry about, after all.  But, man, did I ever give that kid a big hug when I went back inside. 

I told him I was worried someone took him.  He gave me a hug back.  He didn't seem like he was mad at me anymore, either.  Although, he did ask why I didn't just check upstairs.  Good question. 

Goodbye Microsoft! Hello Climate Corporation!

Yup...you read that correctly.  I have left Microsoft.  My 2nd home for over 10 years.  Wow...it feels weird reading that back right now.  But, it's real.  Today was my last day.  I have turned in the ol' Blue Badge and rode off into the sunset.  Well...actually, I left around 3 so the sun was still pretty high up there.  But, whatever.

I have left Microsoft to join another company.  The Climate Corporation. 

Climate is a San Francisco based company with an office in Seattle.  In a nutshell, they make technology for farmers.  Imagine getting to work on products that impact our every day life in fundamental ways.  I spent 9 years working on a super fancy product...Xbox.  It was amazing, it was sexy...but, at the end of the day, it was a toy.  Something only some people could afford and not everyone was interested in.   Outside of Xbox, Microsoft focuses mainly on productivity.  Our tools impact people all over the world...but, in ways that, ultimately, we could live without.  

In my new role, I will be impacting everyday life.  I will be impacting something that affects billions of people in ways that we can't live without.  If the world crashes, we can live without our computers.  We can't live without our food. 

The job is super cool.  I'll be working on college recruiting and staffing programs.  It's a lot, but it's a small company. :-)  My focuses, as I understand them now, will be on university relationship building, college hiring, and programs such as diversity.  I get to work on things I am passionate about and I get to take myself out of a comfort zone I have sat in for a long time.

Microsoft has been amazing to me.  I have zero hard feelings.  I grew more in my first year at Microsoft than I did in my 5 prior years recruiting.  My life is so different now.

Ten years ago...

• Desmond wasn't around,
• I was married, but not to my current wife,
• I had 2 cats and an adorable puppy with perfect eye sight and a weird itchy problem we couldn't figure out,
• I lived in Tacoma,
• My list of close friends was almost 100% different (save for the longtime besties like Eric, Liz and MichaelPaine),
• I was in the Navy Reserve,
• John Paul II was the Pope,
• George W. Bush was just elected to his 2nd term,
• Pluto was still a planet.

Whether or not to leave Microsoft was a super hard decision.  But, it's the right one.  It's time to grow and it's time to evolve.  Microsoft is on a great path and I plan to continue to be a Windows/Xbox/Bing user for a long time (Windows Phone, on the other hand...well, I may have already switched there). 

I'm excited!  I'm ready to go!  Let's do this!!!

#Batgate

So, let me get this straight...

An AMAZING play by Kam Chancellor leads to a fumble which goes into the end zone.

KJ Wright, surrounded by nobody, bats the ball out of bounds.

And, everyone is screaming because the Lions should have won the game? 

I acknowledge that a rule was broken.  But, in this case, it's a dumb rule.  The rule is for punters who are in the end zone trying to get a kick off.  Should the kick be blocked or the kicker fumble the ball, the officials don't want them doing something to avoid the safety.

This wasn't the case in this play.

If KJ didn't touch the ball and it went out of bounds, no penalty.

If KJ picked up the ball and ran out of bounds, no penalty.

If KJ even ATTEMPTED to pick up the ball, was unsuccessful and the ball went out of bounds, no penalty. 

So, it's the simple act of him pushing the ball out of bounds that everyone is crying about. 

Now, I know I am a Hawks fan and I understand my bias here.  I always try to remove my bias, but I acknowledge that it is hard to do in this case.  But, even as I try to put myself in the other teams shoes, I think I would simply shrug my shoulders and say, "Oh well." 

I would not be crying about "Batgate" and talking about how the Seahawks stole the game.  Because they didn't.  The Seahawks made a great play.  The game ended on that play.  The rule is stupid and the foul wasn't flagrant.  Let it go and focus on that awesome forced fumble.  Because that is what everyone should be talking about!!!

Conversation Pieces - Constitootion.

This happened a while ago, but it popped up on my Facebook memory feed, recently.  Too good not to post.

Desi: "I'm glad that I live in America because I can say 'stupid' and not get arrested!" (apparently, he learned this from a Capitan America book.)

Me, seeing a great opportunity for a civics lesson: "That's right! It's called 'Freedom of Speech' and it's one of many right we have written out in a big document called the Constitution!"

Desi, laughing: "Part of Constitution sounds like toot!"

Monster Squad has come to Netflix

What is Monster Squad, you ask?  Well, it's a story about a bunch of friends who have to save their town from monsters.  Or something.  I used to love this movie as a kid.  But, I admit...I don't remember a ton about it.

One thing I do remember, however, is that the single greatest line in movie history happens in Monster Squad.  Better than, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.". Better than "Life is like a box of chocolates.". And better than "To Infinity and Beyond."

Ladies and gentleman...I give you, the greatest line in movie history:

Conversation Pieces - Marriage

We were eating lunch at taco time.  I was enjoying a delicious taco.

Me: "I love this taco.:"

Desmond: *looks at me funny*  "You love it?"

Me: "Yeah...I love it so much, I am going to marry it."

Desmond:  "Really dad?  You're going to get married 3 times?"

Teachers and stuff

It's September and you know what that means!  It's time for the annual Teacher Strike!

This time, it looks like there are 2 districts striking.  Pasco and my home town of Seattle.

This is a real hot button issue for me.  I frequently disagree with my liberal friends and neighbors in the area.  Also, I know quite a few teachers who have strong opinions on this.  When you hear me vent about striking teachers, I can understand how you might think I am "anti-teacher."

But, that couldn't be further from the truth.  I am VERY VERY pro teacher. 

So, I felt moved to write a post to my blog because that's what I do when I have something I want to say. :-)

Here are the fundamental reasons why I oppose teacher strikes:

1. Teachers are public employees. 
2. Teachers are salaried professionals.  Why do they even have a union?  They're not machinists or plumbers.
3. NOBODY is hurt by teacher strikes except the parents and students.  Districts are given their money from the state.  Teachers will still get paid.  Districts will still get paid.  In the meantime, parents need to struggle to find and pay for child care and the kids get to go even longer without their education.
4. On average, teachers make good money and receive good benefits for 9 months of work.

Ok...I hear people yelling at me already, particularly on the 9 months of work and the good money part.  But, I want to point out that I said, "on average." 

You see, here is the thing that pisses me off most. 

There are some amazing teachers out there.  AMAZING!  These teachers are not paid enough. 

There are also some crappy teachers out there.  These teachers are paid too much. 

How do we determine good teachers from bad teachers?  I don't know because teachers don't want to be evaluated in meaningful ways.

See...my problem ultimately comes down to the union, not the teachers.  Because of the union, no meaningful criteria can be used to evaluate a teacher.  Therefore, there is no real way to determine who is an excellent teacher and who sucks.  Also, because of the union, so much focus is put on seniority over talent.  I don't care if a teacher has been teaching for 30 years.  If that teacher is not as good as this younger teacher who has only been teacher for 5 or 10, they should not be making as much money.

Why can't we run education more like a business?  If there is a teacher in Minnesota who has received multiple awards and has lead 100% of their students to passing grades and is largely seen to be amazing, why can't we offer this person $100k/year? 

On the flip side, why can't we fire the English teacher who plays movies in class every day? 

We have failed our teachers.  Our good teachers.  We have failed them because we let the system get to this point.  I know it's not PC to say, but when you have a job that pays you $60k a year, gives you 3 months off in the summer, 2 weeks for Christmas, 1 week for min-winter break and another for Spring break while offering you incredible job security, it's really not that hard to attract people. 

"But, teachers teach because they have been called to!"  Yes...some of them have.  But, many of them haven't.  Many of them like the easy paycheck and 3 months plus of vacation time.  And frankly...many of them weren't smart enough to be engineers.  This was my problem when I was studying to be a teacher.  We have lowered our standards for teachers and because of this, talent is going down. 

The teachers at Desmond's school have been called to teach!  They teach in a small private school where I am willing to bet they make less than a public school teacher.  They seem happy to be there every single day.  They are not striking today.  They are in class teaching. 

Seattle teachers are on strike.  Skipping out on their responsibilities to their students.  Already talking about how they don't earn a "living wage" and how they will likely ignore the courts if they are ordered back to work, trying to lump it under civil disobedience.  You know, like the civil rights and anti-war movements.

I fully support the raise that the Seattle teachers are looking for.  But, only for those that deserve it.  Show us who those are and I will gripe less.  Find other ways to get your point across besides these illegal and annoying strikes and I will be first in line to support you.  In the meantime, I will complain like I do every single year.

Bottom line from me: Great teachers deserve great salaries.  Bad teachers deserve to be fired.

Dad of Divas...Dads in the Limelight!

There is a really great dude I follow on Twitter names Chris Lewis.  Chris and his wife are the parents of two girls and he keeps a blog called Dad of Divas! 

One of the features of Chris's blog is a series called "Dad's in the Limelight."  A few months ago, Chris pinged me on Twitter and asked if I would like to be a part of this series.  I was like, "Heck yeah!!!" 

The post went up this weekend!  Go check it out here: http://www.dadofdivas.com/dads-in-the-limelight/dads-limelight-limelightdads-jason-pankow-jpankow-dadchat

Now, it was written a few months ago, so obviously some things have changed.  Like, you know...me getting married and stuff.  Not to mention that Desmond starts the 1st grade next week.  Can you believe it????  First Freakin' Grade!!!

Seahawks Training Camp

Last week, Desmond and I went to Seahawks Training Camp to watch the Hawks practice!  We went with our buddies Duncan and Duncan's dad, Kevin. 

 

 

Big blow up helmet thing. 

So...there is a story with this pic.  At some point, when we were talking about training camp, Kim made a joke about how Des was supposed to make sure I didn't run off with a cheerleader, or something like that.  I don't totally remember.  I just remember Kim saying something about keeping me away from cheerleaders.  So...when I tried to get Desmond to take a picture with me and the SeaGals, he refused.  "Kim said No!"  Later, he was like, "Why did you want to have your picture taken with the SeaGals so badly?" 


No reluctance to have his picture taken with Blitz.

Here, they are trying to make a "12."  Duncan is the 2.  I think. 

Autograph time sucked.  So much pushing and shoving.  Desmond doesn't like crowds to begin with. 

 

Then...it got worse when Russell Wilson came over.  See that arrow?  That Desmond.  He didn't get any autographs.  And, in the process, he got smashed into the other kids. 

 

I didn't want him to leave without any autographs, so I made sure he got at least 1.  You can see just how impressed he is by it.  In case you can't tell, this is his, "Seriously, Dad?" face. 

Ok, Ok!!! Here are some wedding photos!

I know it's taken me forever.  These are only some of the many many photos we have.

Keep in mind, we spent almost 2 weeks in Hawaii.  So, there are photos on top of those photos, as well.  Here are a select few of my favorite from the day of the wedding. 

Chatting it up with my boy before he officially gets a step-mom

With said step-mom.  He got to see her before I did.

 Said step-mom knows our little man. She made him his own special boutonniere. (also...bewbs!) 

Dad...check out the boutonniere Kim made me!

 Chicks dig this part where they get to surprise the groom. I promised I wasn't going to cry. I cried.

Needed a picture of that boutonniere.

 Pankows

With the newest Pankow

Romines

One of my favorite pics of the day. 

With the new in-laws.  I couldn't have asked for a more amazing pair!

Smooching on the bench, overlooking the Pacific.

 I love this one.  It might be my favorite.

Most of the pre-wedding pics involve some form of smooching. 

This is what the guests had to look out. I apologize for blocking the view during the ceremony.

Walking down the aisle with my best-little-man. Who is still checking out the boutonniere.

This is Kale (Kah-Lay).  He plays the conch.  He also officiated.

Kim and Clark walking down the aisle unsuccessfully trying not to cry.

Desmond gets a lei, too!

I think she likes me. :-)

More smooching.

 The wedding coordinator photo bombed this shot!  But, I liked it too much not to post.

Signed, sealed and delivered about a week later!

Cool dude in his cool wedding shades.  Desmond was in charge of handing out the bags for the kids.  Bags came with shades, bubbles, a beach ball and a mini lego set, of course!

 Our guests!!!

My #1 favorite picture of the day!

These chairs were totally rad!  I don't think these 4 moved from them the whole time. 

This is totally my favorite picture from the day!

And, I close with my favorite! 

I don't know how the wedding could have been more perfect!  It's not in the pictures I have yet (I think Kim's dad got some, but I don't have his photos, yet), but instead of a cake, we had a Shave Ice truck!  What a hit!!!

Now, Kim and I are trying to figure out how to renew our vows every year at the same place. 

Wanna see our early eHarmony coms?

I just finished sending eHarmony our "story."  When I was done, they sent a little info graphic of our communications with one another.  Thought people might be interested.  It's kind of adorable.

A few notes:

1. Kim found me. 
2. She decided to skip over the regular eHarmony process and jump right into email.
3. There was a gap of about 3 weeks in communication.  This was right after Satchmo died (but, I didn't tell Kim that).  I wasn't really thinking about dating.
4. Once we exchanged emails, eHarmony was done for us.  You don't get to see the non eHarmony coms.  Too steamy! 

Here you go!

Kim:
Hey Jason, I'm kicking it on my couch with a cup of coffee scrolling through my "what ifs"....great Saturday a.m. entertainment! I came across your profile and was struck by the first line of what you are looking for. Simply put "someone awesome". I have a wall hanging next to my bed that reads "Wake Up And Be Awesome". If more people would abide by that simple rule, the world would be a better place. I'll stop rambling now. Just wanted to say hello. What plans do you have for your weekend, besides being generally awesome? Kim

Jason:
Hi Kim, I need a wall hanging like that! I would have to agree with that statement. I chuckle a little at online dating because you are supposed to define your perfect partner. That's a lot of pressure! Our individualities are what make us great...or rather, awesome! Why cross anything off the list without seeing the whole picture? My weekend was loaded, but fun! I coach 4-5 year olds in soccer and we had our first game. The kids picked our team name before the game. We are the Unicorns! I should mention that my team is made up of 80% girls. The boys groaned a little at the name, but majority rules! Today I joined a buddy at the Seahawks game. Those are always fun. And, you. What kind of awesomeness did you partake in? Happy Monday (likely by the time you read this), Jason

Kim:
STOP IT! My soccer team when I was 5 was the Unicorns and we were anything but magical. My dad was our coach and I was just in it for the orange slices, capri suns & stickers. I don't think we ever won a single game but I was none the wiser. I had a pretty low key weekend. Dinner with some girlfriends on Friday night. Did laundry, ran errands and paid bills on Saturday. Then spent yesterday watching the Hawks crush the Jags, followed by the Emmy's. I've been SO awesome the last several weekends in a row that it was a much needed a break. I've been traveling a ton - Portland, Eastern Washington, Delaware, the beach at Westport and getting ready to leave on Thursday to visit some friends in Minneapolis. I don't usually travel this much but 4th Quarter is going to be crazy for me at work so I'm trying to pack in as much fun right now as possible. I actually laughed out loud when I read your profile about your dog that is allergic to humans. Amazing! What kind of dog? Hope you have an awesome Monday, looking forward to getting to know you! Kim P.S. I'll eat your olives....

Jason:
Hi Kim, I have to apologize...work and life have kept me a wee bit busy and eHarmony has taken a bit of a backseat. :-) It sounds like your Unicorns and my Unicorns have a lot in common. We've had 3 games so far and we've scored 1 goal. I think everyone's still having fun, so it's all good. But, I can tell they're getting a bit frustrated. The snacks are indeed the favorite part, though. My dog is indeed allergic to humans. I had never heard of such a thing before. Since we diagnosed Quincy here, I have met 2 other dogs with the same allergy. WTF? I'm thinking about opening a doggie commune somewhere where they can all run free without being all itchy. I'm off to Las Vegas next week! Attending the LinkedIn Conference. It's really just a reason for a bunch of recruiters to get together and party. Still...I'll make sure to learn one or two things to keep my boss happy. Happy Saturday! How's your weekend looking this week? Anything exciting? Jason

Kim:
Hi Jason! No need to apologize. Life should take priority over online dating...just means you're being awesome. I wish I were jet-setting to Vegas right now! Instead I'm in my office gearing up for what will probably be the most challenging 3-months of my career. I work in the Health Insurance Industry and needless to say, everyone hates us right now :) Do you work for LinkedIn? Maybe when my Insurance career falls apart you can hook a sister up with new JOB. Kidding. In all seriousness I love my job and have total faith that we will come out of this on top. I've been with this company for 8 years and they've been good to me. I may just have to amp up my Happy Hours to get through it. If you'd like, you can email me at xxxxx@gmail.com - and now you know my last name so let the internet stalking begin. Have fun in Vegas and put $5 on black for me. I won $500 at pull tabs this weekend so I'm on a bit of a hot streak. Kim

Jason
Your last name is gmail? That's totally rad! I will definitely shoot you a mail. Connection is spotty where I am, so it will likely be later. I am xxxxx@yahoo.com. Whatever...I set it up in college. This, too, gives you insight into my last name. I assure you, I am NOT the Jason Pankow from Atlanta with the creepy mugshot. We are not related...that I know of. I do not work for LinkedIn...better. I work for Microsoft in the newly formed Devices and Studios Group. This is essentially the business that builds all of Microsoft's hardware (Xbox, Surface, etc) and the game studios. I too love my job. And, I am in Staffing, so I am the right person to talk to about a job. :-) My business rarely comes up in political circles, however. I don't envy what you guys are dealing with, right now. I put $5 on black at your request. It landed on Zero. Go figure. First coffee is on you. ;-) Happy Wednesday! Jason Pankow (but not the creeper from Atlanta)

Things That Make Me Smile - Derek Hough

I don't watch Dancing With the Stars.  My folks watch it religiously.  Kim watches it occasionally, but she doesn't watch a ton of TV in general.  I was more of a So You Think You Can Dance, guy.  But, I just can't really commit to any more shows what with my ongoing relationship with The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Agents of Shield.  

But, when I do see DWTS with Kim or my folks, I am always amazed at the talent of Derek Hough.  It's clear to me that he has a ton of talent.  I enjoy watching him every time he's on.  He makes those lame ass D-list celebrity women look amazing!!!

Anyway, here is a routine my dad sent to me a while back.  I still go back and watch it here and there because I so enjoy the way they pull it off.  It's not the first time this trick has been done (See Fred Astaire), but it is one of the best.  The way they move seamlessly from one wall to another.  The way one is on the floor while the other is on the ceiling.  It truly well done.

Enjoy!