Elementary, my dear daddy.

This morning, I am trying my hardest to style my hair in a way that hides the fact that I am losing it all faster every day.  Desi is downstairs, supposedly, getting his shoes on.  All of a sudden I hear, "DADDY!"

"WHAT?" I yell back.  We're on two separate floors, you see.  It would take too much time to actually go to each other.

"SOMEONE ATE MY CANDY WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!"

It seems that Desi had located an empty Tootsie Roll wrapper on the table right next to my Xbox controller which was sitting very near to the spot on the couch where I often relax to read, watch TV or...I don't know...play Xbox and veg out. 

I started to get nervous.  He was onto me.  He runs upstairs and shows me the wrapper.

"Look!  Someone ate it!" he says.  "Someone ate it without asking me."

"Uhhhh..." I stammer as my eyes dart back and forth.  "Who do you think it was?"

"I think it was Satchmo,"  He responds.  This was unexpected.

"Why do you think it was Satchmo?"  I ask? 

"Well...she was standing on the table and she ran away as soon as she saw me looking at her." 

Hmmm...sounds like a solid deduction to me.  Still, I couldn't let Satchmo take the blame for something she didn't do.

"Buddy...it wasn't Satchmo who ate your candy."  I told him.

"It was Quincy."