Things That Make Me Smile - TNG Edit 38 - "Riker" Episode 1

Imagine what a spinoff series involving Commander William Riker from Star Trek - The Next Generation would look like.

When Fr. Rudy blessed the car

Recently, in my Facebook feed, I noticed that a friend's automatic car window wasn't working.  It was stuck in the down position.  I hope it didn't rain on them!

This reminded me of a time long, long ago!  In a faraway land called Lake Havasu City, AZ.  My mom was driving one of those long ass Oldsmobiles.  You know...the one you can now see a jazzed up pimp driving down Hollywood Blvd with fuzzy dice in the mirror? 

It wasn't a new car.  In fact, if I remember correctly, it was a hand-me-down from my grandparents.

Anyway, for those of you that don't know about Lake Havasu...the place is literally hotter than hell.  No...this is not an improper use of the word literally.  Lake Havasu City literally reaches temperatures that would make the devil run for air conditioning. 

One summer, the window stopped working.  It stopped working in the up position.  Therefore, there was no rolling the windows down.  This wasn't super horrible while driving as the car had A/C and the windows needed to be up for that, anyway.  But, it meant that you couldn't roll the windows down when you parked, meaning that you got into an oven when the time came to get back into your car.  I wish we had put a thermometer in the car.  I bet it was reaching 500 degrees. 

Another memory...this was in the days of VHS.  Video stores would leave examples of tapes left in the car.  Warped, black, nasty VHS tapes that had melted due to the hear.  You melt it, you buy it, was the message.  Don't leave your VHS tapes in the car!

Back to my story.

The family was taking a trip somewhere.  I have no idea where.  But, it was a long drive.  Probably Phoenix or Vegas or something.

At my church, we had an awesome priest named Fr. Rudy.  Great man, that Fr. Rudy.  Very big, too.  Big like buff!  Dude worked out!

Anyway, Fr. Rudy was a great guy and he was a friend to my family.  Not that all priests aren't friends to their congregation, but I like to think that we were special. :-) 

Months after the window stopped working, Mom was picking me up from something at church.  Don't remember what.  Alter server practice, CCD, something.  Fr. Rudy came out to say hi. 

Mom mentioned that we had this trip coming up.  Fr. Rudy says, "A trip?  Well, maybe I should bless the car and pray for a safe journey." 

Ok...what could it hurt?

Fr. Rudy busts out some holy water and sprays it on the car.  Some definitely hit the passenger side window, the broken one.  He says a prayer.  We all say Amen.  We drive away. 

Mom makes a comment to me, "Wouldn't it be funny if the window started working after that?"

"HA!"  I laugh.  And, I push the window button down. 

Window opens. 

Our mouths both drop into our laps.  No Way! 

I roll the window up.  It goes up all the way.  I roll it back down.  It goes down all the way.  Up, down, up down.  Window is working again! 

That's the story.  Totally true.  Window worked until my folks got rid of the car. 

I miss that Fr. Rudy and his magic God powers!


(Note...not the real Fr. Rudy)

School Concert

Ok, ok...I am fully aware that the only people who are interested in watching kids in their school concert are said kids parents and grandparents.  But, this is my blog, so I do what I want!

Last week, Our Lady of Guadalupe held their spring concert.  It was super cute!  Ms. Sager, the music teacher, put together a concert with a "reruns" theme.  Each class sang a theme song from the past and a commercial jingle.  Such themes were "The Brady Bunch," "Full House," and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."  Such commercials were...uhhh...now I don't remember any except the one Desmond's class did. 

The Kindergarteners sang the theme from the Flintstones and the old Band-Aid jingle.  Here they are for your viewing pleasure:


Flintstones from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.

BandAides from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.

PS...Edie totally won the day with that bone in her hair!

Helping with Math homework

So...I'm helping Desmond out with his math homework. The question is simple:

3 + 4 = ?

Desmond looks at the question and then asks me, "Dad...what's 10 minus 3?

I say, "Seven." 

Desmond writes 7 as the answer to 3 + 4. 

Correct answer right? 

But, wait...I say, "I don't get what you just did.  That's the right answer, but I don't understand why you asked me what 10 minus 3 is."

"BECAUSE!" Desmond says, hating to have to explain something to a simpleton like myself.

"Because why?" I ask.  "How did you know that 3 + 4 = 7 by asking what 10 minus 3 is?"

"Easy!" he replies. "Because 4 plus 6 is 10.  So, all I needed to do was take 3 away which makes 7.  That's how I got it."

Huh?  What the heck just happened?  Everything he just said is correct.  But...what does 10-3 have to do with 4+3? 

My head hurts.

Things That Make Me Smile - A New Muppet Series!!!

I love the Muppets!  And, I love that they are coming back to TV!!!

Selfie Sticks are All The Rage

Microsoft hosted an event this week called Codess.  It's a networking event for women engineers.  As is typical when we host events, we like to give away some kind of swag to the attendees. 

This year, we gave away a Codess branded Selfie Stick.

As is also typical when we host these events, I have snagged one for myself. :-) 

Immediately, Desmond took it away from me and busted out his inner...whoever a famous photographer is. 

Kim charged up her old iPhone and we basically let him have at it. Here are some of the results:

 

This was all in about 10 minutes.  I suspect there will be more where this comes from. 

 

#Fabulous

The Butterfly Project!

So, for Easter, we got Desmond a Butterfly garden from a company called InsectLore.  Basically, you buy a pretty net.  Then, you use a coupon that comes with the net to order a container of live caterpillars! 

The idea is that you get to watch caterpillars grow, cocoon themselves and then hatch as painted lady butterflies before setting them free!  Well, earlier this week, we set our painted ladies free!  So, here are some pictures. :-)

I am a horrible science parent.  I forgot to get pictures right when they arrived.  Here is a picture of them a couple days before they moved into cocoon (or chrysalis) phase. 

 

 

The sign that they are about to huddle in is when they start hanging from the top in a J shape!

 

The Cocoons!

 

I took a quick trip to Chicago and I am glad they waited for me to get back before hatching!  Uh...I mean, I am glad they waited for Des to come back from his mom's house before hatching.  This is his project of course!

 

 

 

 

Kim and I were able to watch the last one emerge as it was happening!  It was pretty rad!  We got it on video to show Desmond later.   He was back at Mom's. 

 

Finally, it was time to release them.

Desmond seemed sad in every single picture I took.  He admitted that he was.  He says he hopes they lay eggs that aren't eaten by any butterfly egg eating birds. 

 

So, there you have it!  Our butterfly project!  I highly recommend it if you have kids.  It's inexpensive and very educational!  We all found it pretty fascinating!  Life is beautiful!!!

 

 

Spider Man and Venom are real!!

Desmond saw them both!!!


I saw it! from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.

Note how he proves it was real by showing how he can't even reach that far!!!


__________________________________________

Desmond showed me the above video.  As I looked back in my phone, I found that there were a couple of trial runs.  Here is the non-used draft that I enjoyed most:


First draft from Jason Pankow on Vimeo.

Thank you moms!

I am blessed in many ways.  But, one of the ways I am most blessed, IMHO, is that I have some very strong women in my life. 

I have my mother.  Who raised me and always taught me to use my manners and treat others with respect.

I had my mom's mom who taught me to love God and to love His people.

I have my dad's mom who taught me to laugh and have fun.

I have Kim's mom who has accepted me into her family with mucho love.

I have my son's mom who blessed me with Desmond and is a great partner in his upbringing.

I have the mom's of my many cousins, women who have helped me to grow in innumerable ways.

And, I have my son's step-mom (almost official), a woman who has taken Desmond into her life with so much love that you would think she's been here since day 1!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!  Without you, there is no us. 

Dress codes

There have been a lot of articles in my Facebook feed recently about children being sent home from school or from prom for dress code violations.  One even involved sending a 6 year old girl home for wearing spaghetti straps to school on a warm day.

Well, I have a few opinions on this.

1. School uniforms are AWESOME!  This is one of the reasons I love the school my son attends.  He has to wear a uniform.  He often complains about it.  But, so what.  I enjoy not having to spend hundreds of dollars on the new fashion trends.
2. Some dress code rules are obvious: no clothing depicting drugs or alcohol, no bad words, nothing offensive (IE: racist, homophobic, insulting, etc), you get the picture.
3. No white after labor day.

But, what seems to be happening a lot lately is annoying. 

First of all, it is only happening to girls.  I have yet to see an article about a boy being sent home (unless they're wearing a pic with a confederate flag or something...see point #2). 

Next, it seems to be happening around things that are very subjective.  The idea is that a student shouldn't wear anything provocative.  And, by student, I mean the girls. 

But, what's provocative?  Are spaghetti straps on a 6 year old provocative?  Maybe they are to someone.  If so, I suggest that someone consider counseling. 

What about this girls dress?

She was sent home for revealing too much midriff.

I don't get it.  I try not to get on a soap box on my blog...wait a second...that's not true.  This blog IS my soapbox!

What the hell, people!  What the hell, Principals!  What is wrong with you?  I am not going to dispute that we have a hyper sexualized society, nowadays.  Kids are having sex at 14.  Monogamy is out.  Sex is plastered all over TV and movies. 

But, a pretty prom dress that shows a little back isn't going to get her knocked up. 

A 6 year old in a rainbow sundress is not going to have classmates drooling. 

Short shorts are short, but not as short as John Stockton's! 

 

And I don't see anyone salivating over him!  Except maybe Mrs. Stockton. 

 

Anyway...this is yet another thing that should be in the hands of the parents.  Dear parents...please make sure your kids aren't going out looking like hoochies.  Dear Principals...lighten up!

Conversation Pieces - Lego Movie vs Stepmom

Recently took Desmond to a Sunday afternoon Mariners game.  Kim was out of town for the weekend.  After the game, the Mariners were playing the Lego movie on the big screen.  Which leads to this conversation:

Des: "Can we stay and watch the Lego Movie?"

Me: "We probably shouldn't. Kim gets home today. We haven't seen her all weekend."

Des: "Well, we haven't seen the Lego Movie all weekend, either."

School Jog-A-Thon

Today was Desmond's first Jog-A-Thon.  I think just about every school has a Jog-A-Thon.  Our Lady of Guadalupe is no different!

It was held on the soccer field by the school.  Not quite as big as a normal 1/4 mile track, but not much shorter.  The kids practiced running in the gym.  This is relevant.  Stay tuned.

Desmond loves the show American Ninja Warrior.  Turns out, one of the more famous of the contestants on that show is an OLG alum!

You can read about his visit to OLG to inspire the kids here.

Part of the inspiration was telling the kids that anyone who ran 30 or more laps got a free American Ninja Warrior T-shirt!!!  Obviously, Desmond NEEDED this.  So, despite the classes goal of only 14 laps per person, Desmond declared he was going to run 31 laps!!!

Until the run started.  I ran with him for some of it.  About half way through lap 2, Desmond declares with a pant, "This is a lot bigger than the gym."

Indeed it was.  He didn't make the 30.  I think he wanted to, and he might have actually been able to do it.  But, unlike the Jog-A-Thons of my day, they stop the event after an hour, no matter how far you've gone.  So...after an hour, everyone stopped.

Des totally rocked it!  He made it through 17 laps!  Not bad for a 6 year old, me thinks!  I haven't gotten the official donation amounts, yet, since most people pledged per lap.  But, if my math is correct, he raised $258!  This is before the company matching!  Super duper proud Dad right here!

Here are some pics:

 The Kindergarten class warms up with Ms. Zbaraki.

What's the point of running if you can't stop to show off for the girls?

Pushing Through!

With Braden after the run.

And, a celebratory milkshake.

As I was looking through the pics, one looked familiar.  It didn't take me long to figure out why:

Things that make me smile...

Kristen Wiig dressing up like Daenerys Targaryen makes me smile.

Mom of the Year!

In case you missed it, there is rioting in Baltimore.  Yet another young black man has died at the hands of police. 

Regardless of how you feel about the incident, I would suspect that most people would agree that rioting and looting is a horrible way to address the situation.  The owners of the stores you are demolishing didn't do anything.  The citizens didn't do anything.

Did you see the video of the jerk poking a hole in a fire hose while firefighters were trying to save a burning building?  I have high hopes for that kid's future.

Anyway...maybe you've seen this video already, maybe you haven't.  When these riots happen, I often wonder where the adults are.  Most of the people you see in videos appear to be younger.  15-19 or so.  Maybe early 20s.

Well...it's hard to tell how old this particular kid is because he's hiding his face in a ski mask.  That didn't stop his mom from finding him!!!

Check it out!


I don't think he'll be rioting again anytime soon!!

Phantom of the Opera OR My First Time

At the theater, perv!

This Friday, I am taking Kim to see Phantom of the Opera.

Now, Kim is not a big theatre goer.  If I weren't around, I suspect she wouldn't go at all.  The only thing that could get her to the theatre is a steamin' hunk of a man trying to thrust some culture upon her...and, that's pretty much exactly how it first happened!

I am slightly nervous about this particular show.  Kim has really enjoyed, ummm, maybe like 1 or 2 shows I've taken her to?  Let's see..."A Christmas Story."  I think she liked that one.  What else???  Uhhhhh. 

I won't bring up the time she fell asleep during the "Book of Mormon."  I mean, I pick on her for that all the time, so I won't write about it here.

Moving on.  This post is not about taking Kim to the Phantom of the Opera.  It's about the first time I got to see Phantom of the Opera!!!!  *prepare dream sequence*



The year was 199...uhhhh...something.  1994?  I was getting my first tastes as a theatre nerd in high school.  I had just scored the starring role in the Music Man...a production being put on by a local kids theatre troupe.  No no...not Harold Hill.  The other starring role!  You know!  Tommy Djilas!  The super sexy kid who was picking up all the ladies with his knowledge of repetative motion and saying "Jeely Kly" (whatever the hell that means) all the time!  I mean check this out...how freakin' adorable is this:

Shout out to Jaimie!

 

I should point out that, at this time, I was also the drum major for the high school marching band.  You'll learn the the relevance of this soon. 

 

That fall, I was invited by my buddy Cirese (actually...I think it was her mom.  Gail always liked me more than Cirese did, anyway), to go see Phantom of the Opera at Gammage Auditorium at ASU in Phoenix. 

 

Well, jeely kly...I had never been to a real life honest to goodness stage show before!  Count me in!

 

So...we roadtrip!  Took the 4 hour drive with Gail at the wheel (because for some reason, Cirese refused to get a drivers license until she was 37), me chilling in the back with my Sega GameGear and Cirese's friend Jennifer (Jennifer?) wondering why she had to sit in the back with the Junior (they were both Seniors, you see). 

 

Finally, we arrive at Gammage.  We quickly discover that our seats are in the very last row at the super tippy top of the auditorium.  Like, row ZZ or something.  Gail wasn't sitting with us for some reason.  So, I was stuck with the 2 girls who wanted nothing to do with me because they were too busy talking about how hot that Jack Weldon guy was or something.

 

Me, however...I am totally stoked to be attending my first professional show!  I'm practically skipping up the steps!  All the way up to the super tippy top. 

 

We sit down.  Cirese and Jennifer are still gossiping with each other and completely ignoring me.  It's about then that I notice something.  They are both holding programs.  I am not.

 

"Hey, Cirese,"  I say.

 

"WHAT?" she snaps!  Clearly, I just interrupted something juicy. 

 

"I didn't get a program." I inform her.

 

She looks at me like I am the biggest idiot in the world. "So go get one." she says rolling her eyes. 

 

Oh...yeah that seems rather easy now that she mentions it. 

 

So, I giddily skip on down the stairs, all 500 or so of them, anxiously waiting to read all about the guy playing the Phantom this evening.

 

I'm so happy that I decide I am just going to skip the last couple steps at the end.  I'm just going to do a nice little hop over the last steps.  *Hop*

 

*CRUNCH*

 

See, the thing about hopping is that you need to land on your feet.  It's a bad idea to land on your ankle.  Which is what I did.  Somehow, I landed wrong, my foot rolled and my entire 120 pound body (Gawd I miss those days) landed onto my ankle causing a very gross crunching noise.

 

Now...a few feet away, handing out programs was a young lady.  She was rather attractive.  I assume she was an ASU coed volunteering her time at the theatre.  She had obviously just seen me fall.  She rushes over to me!  "Oh my god, are you ok?"

 

About now, I wish that I had fallen in a pool or something so I could pretend I wasn't breathing.  But, alas...I had tripped on the stairs and looked like a complete dufus in the process.  So, I quickly jump back up, brush myself off and say, "Of course!  May I please have a program?" 

 

She hands me a program, I grab the banister and painfully hobble myself back up the stairs. 

 

When I get to the top, I say to Cirese, "Cirese...I think I just broke my ankle."

 

"That's nice," she responds.

 

And then the show starts.

 

Fast forward.  Nobody is sitting in front of me, so I plop my foot up on the seat in row YY and enjoy act 1 immensely!  This show is amazing!  After a while, the chandelier falls and it's time for intermission.

 

I get up, stretch and take my first step toward the doors. 

 

*Plop*  I fall down.  My ankle will not hold any weight.

 

This is when the girls finally notice me.  They help me to my feet and down the stairs.  Apparently, the hot usher coed had been watching me.  Because, by the time we got down all 500 or so steps, the theatre manager was waiting for me.

 

He takes me out to the lobby and makes me sit while he fetches the first aid kit.  In the mean time...I take off my shoe and sock. 

 

Holy Mary Mother of God!  Not only is my ankle black and blue from my toes to half way up my calf, it has ballooned to the size of a softball!

 

The manager returns.  From the first aid kit he pulls out the ice pack.  It's one of those that you have to pop and mix up all the science on the inside before putting on the booboo.  This guy can't figure it out.  Me...I've been working in the Parks and Rec after school program for the past 2 years.  I am well versed in this technology.  So, I snag the ice pack from him, pop it, put it on my ankle and say, "See...I'm fine.  Can I go back in, now?  The intermission is almost over."

 

"No." say the manager.

 

"Wait...what?"

 

"I can't let you go back in until we know for sure you are ok.  I've called the paramedics."

 

I sprained my ankle and the dude called the paramedics.  See what happens when we all get sue happy?

 

Inside, I hear the music begin.  Shortly after, the very familiar chorus of "Masquerade."

 

Ok...now I am getting pissed. 

 

"Let me go back in," I say. 

 

"We can't until the paramedics clear you."  He responds.

 

"I paid money for these tickets.  I want to see the show!"

 

"We'll give you new tickets to another date."

 

"I live 4 HOURS AWAY!"  I can't just come to a different show."

 

"Can't let you in."

 

UGH!!!

 

Finally the paramedics show up.  They look at my ankle, declare it a very bad sprain and ask me if I want to go to the ER.

 

"Heck NO!  I want to see the show!!!"

 

FINALLY...they let me back in.  The get me a folding chair and let me sit in the aisle by the doors.  I caught the very end of the play. 

 

Before we left the theatre, the manager gave us a huge bag of ice.  I sat in the backset of Gail's car for the 4 hour drive home with my ankle sitting on the bag, which was quickly become a bag of water...Arizona, don't forget. 

 

We arrive back in Lake Havasu where, before dropping me off at home, Cirese and Jennifer made fun of me a couple more times.  I got out of the car, hopped in my mom's car and took a trip to the emergency room.  It was about 2 AM.

 

A splint, some pain meds and a bruised ego later, I prepared to start my week back at school where my first class was...Marching Band.

Needless to say, Mr. Beal wasn't very happy with me.

 

That's all...end of story.  With a lot of tape and some Vicodin you can march on anything.  I was even able to pull off my award worthy performance in the Music Man.  Although, apparently someone did later ask the director why that one kid had a brace on his ankle. Oh well...glad they noticed that and not the fact that my fly was down...which it was. 

 

I have since seen Phantom all the way through. This show will be my 3rd viewing, I believe.  I'm super excited.  I hope Kim likes it!